SpinScratch Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 Dating is hard work and a lot of times it doesnt pay off at all. No advice needed, just venting. This girl I met who friended ME on facebook to tell ME she was attracted to me, just canceled our first date for the 3rd time in a row with no explanation... and somehow I'm the bad guy because I said "seriously?" Then to top is all off, I just got GHOSTED by a virgin who I took out on 2 dates that HAS NEVER EVEN BEEN ON A DATE WITH A GUY BEFORE. Damn it I was really into her. I thought I had two on the hook this weekend and now its 10:30pm on a Saturday night and I'm back to the drawing board.
Miss Spider Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 Sorry you are having difficulties. I agree it's hard, but It seemed to me like you were into her virginity more than her and you were talking about spending forever together and how you'd die for her etc. After 2 dates. Not to be mean but you might have unintentionally freaked her out because people can pick up on that kind of thinking. I think you need to slow down, get to know the *person*, make sure they're a match for you. Take it easy, have fun, and try not to idealize. 3
Author SpinScratch Posted January 7, 2018 Author Posted January 7, 2018 Sorry you are having difficulties. I agree it's hard, but It seemed to me like you were into her virginity more than her and you were talking about spending forever together and how you'd die for her etc. After 2 dates. Not to be mean but you might have unintentionally freaked her out because people can pick up on that kind of thinking. I think you need to slow down, get to know the *person*, make sure they're a match for you. Take it easy, have fun, and try not to idealize. i said that stuff in here just thinking on the spot. I would never say that to her lol I never mentioned her virginity once on a date.
mortensorchid Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 If it makes you feel better, you are not alone in this. It's just what it is. I have been out with a lot of guys through OLD and it's most always the same thing: You get to chatting through the website / text messages, then you meet, then he's not interested enough to pursue things, we end up texting for a day or two afterward and then it tapers off and that's that. It's just what it is. If it was easy do you think they would create forums like this in order to share / vent stories? There would be no need. 2
newyorker11356 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 If it makes you feel better, you are not alone in this. It's just what it is. I have been out with a lot of guys through OLD and it's most always the same thing: You get to chatting through the website / text messages, then you meet, then he's not interested enough to pursue things, we end up texting for a day or two afterward and then it tapers off and that's that. It's just what it is. If it was easy do you think they would create forums like this in order to share / vent stories? There would be no need. Haha, pretty much the same thing for me, except I'm a guy and I date women. I can't hate too much since I do the same thing. I go out with someone from OLD, and I'm not interested in pursuing things further (I do let them know that, though). It is what it is.
Quagmire243 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I just decided to get a cat instead of a girlfriend. His name is James. He only seems to show himself when I have food. Come to think of it, the cat ignores me like women do. At least the cat doesn't require as much effort. 3
Author SpinScratch Posted January 7, 2018 Author Posted January 7, 2018 But really... why would a girl friend me on FB and say "i saw you at XYZ and im really attracted to you". and tell me she's looking for a relationship. And then give me terrible excuses for 2 weeks straight "Im tired" ... "Its really cold" and then cancel 3 dates in a row at the last minute. Girl you came look for me! and BTW... the virgin just finally just texted me back now after 3 days. But I kinda wish she didnt because I know Im not gonna get her to meet again either. Im busy this week... I want to, I'll let you know... Maybe this weekend
Arieswoman Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I just decided to get a cat instead of a girlfriend. His name is James. He only seems to show himself when I have food. Come to think of it, the cat ignores me like women do. At least the cat doesn't require as much effort Ten characters
Arieswoman Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 SpinScratch, OLD can be hard work and you need broad shoulders to deal with it. I wrote on this site once before about the time I had 3 dates in one week with different guys and they all said they wanted to go out Sat night. I even bought a new dress and booked a hair appointment. Not one of them rang me to confirm. Even on Sat morning I was expecting one of them to call and firm up the arrangements - sad eh? Anyway, I learned from this not to put my life on hold for guys (or anyone else for that matter) and not to pursue guys who were half-a$$ed about dating me. For me if someone cancelled one date at the last minute without a good explanation they'd be "on notice". If they did it again they'd be rejected as just plain rude. They wouldn't get another chance. At least she cancelled, I've had a couple of guys just not show up!
newyorker11356 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 SpinScratch, OLD can be hard work and you need broad shoulders to deal with it. I wrote on this site once before about the time I had 3 dates in one week with different guys and they all said they wanted to go out Sat night. I even bought a new dress and booked a hair appointment. Not one of them rang me to confirm. Even on Sat morning I was expecting one of them to call and firm up the arrangements - sad eh? Anyway, I learned from this not to put my life on hold for guys (or anyone else for that matter) and not to pursue guys who were half-a$$ed about dating me. For me if someone cancelled one date at the last minute without a good explanation they'd be "on notice". If they did it again they'd be rejected as just plain rude. They wouldn't get another chance. At least she cancelled, I've had a couple of guys just not show up! That is just completely messed up...
Arieswoman Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 ny11356, That is just completely messed up. What bit in particular?!
Author SpinScratch Posted January 7, 2018 Author Posted January 7, 2018 Yeah thats why Im back to the drawing board... She only canceled when I texted to confirm. And she tried to turn it around on me like I was wrong for being disappointed. A little manipulative if you ask me... This wasnt online dating tho... we actually met first and then she found me on FB. As for the other one... She's just not interested anymore. I'm just stupidly hanging onto hope because she doesn't have the heart to tell me flat out.
smackie9 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 Sounds like they were both nervous nelly's. The virgin: Not ready to date, FB girl: not sure about meeting a stranger. Just bad timing that is all. Stop taking it so personally.
d0nnivain Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 The woman who friended you on FB then cancelled may have only be able to function in the virtual world. She wanted "friends" on social media but was too scared / underdeveloped to transition into the real world. Put yourself out there in the real world to meet new people. 1
PJ1 Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 The first girl you absolutely should have bailed on after cancelling the second date. First one is fine, things happen. Second, cya later. Especially if you were the one rescheduling dates after her cancelling. The virgin perhaps wanted you to make a move by date number two? Did you?
Author SpinScratch Posted January 7, 2018 Author Posted January 7, 2018 The woman who friended you on FB then cancelled may have only be able to function in the virtual world. She wanted "friends" on social media but was too scared / underdeveloped to transition into the real world. Put yourself out there in the real world to meet new people. I do put myself out there in real life. She saw me checking her out where she works and thats why she friended me. Then I was back a few days later and talked to her for a long time. Then she's texting me about love at first sight and cancels and reschedules the first date 3 times lol The virgin was a tinder match from a few months ago we talked for a while but I told she was too young. But then I saw her in real life walking her dog, thats how we started talking again. Im not really a big online dater. FB is just a way to get in touch with someone you met irl.
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