livinglife2019 Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 I had a major fight with a guy im seeing, we managed to work things out about a week ago. However since the fight his commication with me has dropped in frequency. Last night we where talking, and he said he didn't feel well and was going to go to bed. I said I'm sorry to hear and I'll leave you be to get your rest. I noticed later that he was on Facebook, while I was and this was at 3 in the morning. His WhatsApp also said the same that he was last active at 3.10am! I was annoyed because he told me he was going to bed but I decided rather than say anything that I'd let it go. However I Decided to text him this morning! I know he was online. According to his WhatsApp he was only earlier at 9.35am . So I sent him a text message asking if he was feeling better to which I got no reply! His statues says he was active after receiving it but he didn't open it! I know we all get busy, but I know he's not in work and just chilling at home. I can't understand the not replying! I've done it before so I can't say much but I always try to reply straight away and let the person know I'm busy and I'll text when free. Am I wrong in thinking that it's just plan rude? Or does this sound like he's pulling back? If anyone has any suggestions on what I should say I'd greatly appreciate it!
Lorenza Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 I don't know if he's pulling away or not, since there's not enough context, but I just wanted to say this - just because someone's online, doesn't mean they owe you an answer. People might want to do something mindless like scrolling through their feeds or watching a video, without feeling the need to interact. Stop keeping track on his online activity. 4
GemmaUK Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 Agree with the above. But, things changed after the argument - what was it about? What happened?
Iseult Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 You should tell him you watch all his online activities and let him know how much you trust and care for him. If this doesn't change his heart then he's probably cheating and it's a lost cause.
Author livinglife2019 Posted January 6, 2018 Author Posted January 6, 2018 I wasn't keeping track, I went online last night and seen he was online, the same with the WhatsApp I opened it this morning and seen his last active showed up as the message was still open
Author livinglife2019 Posted January 6, 2018 Author Posted January 6, 2018 In relation to the pulling back he doesn't seem to want to chat! He never asks questions.
Arieswoman Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 livinglife2019, He told you he was ill and was going to bed, then you find him on FB at about 3.00.am - that's one big miracle recovery... I would do nothing and see if he comes to you. If you've heard nothing after a week you have your answer. 2
CptInsano Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 I doubt that things were truly worked out after the argument. He may not pull away, he may be tired or fighting but know that things have not been resolved. Monitoring his online activity is a double-edged sword. If you need an answer to be okay then use a synchronous form of communication, such as calling him or stopping by to see if he is okay.
Lorenza Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 Oh, is it the guy who forgot to introduce you to his parents? This clearly isn't working out. 2
Iseult Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 (edited) I wasn't keeping track, I went online last night and seen he was online, the same with the WhatsApp I opened it this morning and seen his last active showed up as the message was still open Keep track (of someone/something): to continue to be informed or know about someone or something (American idiom) My boyfriend was on WhatsApp late last night again this morning. How do I know? Because I was keeping track of him. Edited January 6, 2018 by Iseult spelling
d0nnivain Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 Neither. He's not busy. He's avoiding you. Before technology you would not have had the ability to see his moves while not with you. This knowledge is making you nuts. If you tell him you monitor his on line activity he will dump you. He's pulling back because he's trying to sort out the reasons behind your recent fight & how he feels about things now. You pestering him is raising his negative views of you. Back off. It's not rude but he is demonstrating a need for space. Respect that. When he reaches out to you again, be sweet but keep things light. You said you already worked things out a week ago so go back to how easy & breezy things were before the blow up. Don't make it hard or stressful to be with you. For right now, get off line. Get out of your house. Go do something . . . anything to keep from watching his activities. Go for a walk. Go shopping. Go sleigh riding. What you do doesn't matter just get away from your phone / computer. If you can manage to do something really fun, later today update your status with how much fun you had so he knows you are not sitting around obsessing about him. 3
smackie9 Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 In the olden days we would wait by the phone for it to ring....silence is deafening. Even then you know you were being avoided. Whatever the reason, ignore it and don't let it stop you from doing other things. I agree with the above post...go find something else to do. 1
TheFinalWord Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 I had a major fight with a guy im seeing, we managed to work things out about a week ago. However since the fight his commication with me has dropped in frequency. Last night we where talking, and he said he didn't feel well and was going to go to bed. I said I'm sorry to hear and I'll leave you be to get your rest. I noticed later that he was on Facebook, while I was and this was at 3 in the morning. His WhatsApp also said the same that he was last active at 3.10am! I was annoyed because he told me he was going to bed but I decided rather than say anything that I'd let it go. However I Decided to text him this morning! I know he was online. According to his WhatsApp he was only earlier at 9.35am . So I sent him a text message asking if he was feeling better to which I got no reply! His statues says he was active after receiving it but he didn't open it! I know we all get busy, but I know he's not in work and just chilling at home. I can't understand the not replying! I've done it before so I can't say much but I always try to reply straight away and let the person know I'm busy and I'll text when free. Am I wrong in thinking that it's just plan rude? Or does this sound like he's pulling back? If anyone has any suggestions on what I should say I'd greatly appreciate it! He is still angry about the fight and is questioning if the relationship should continue. I would not smother him and stalking him online is just going to drive you crazy. What you might need is to do something really sweet for him. If he will not let it go, that is a good sign that perhaps this is not the right person for you. The true test of a relationship is how the other person responds when you have fights and arguments. You don't want to be in a committed relationship with someone that has a cold heart, or is unforgiving. 2
spiderowl Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 It sounds like whatever you thought was 'worked out' after the fight wasn't. Unfortunately, people's feelings can change if there is a major upset. Apparently resolving the disagreement does not take away the unpleasant feeling of a bad argument. You don't say what it was about but I get the impression he is still upset and shutting off. Maybe it is for the best if you are disagreeing so badly over something? 1
Miss Spider Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 (edited) He's not busy. He's freezing you out. Freeze back and find someone else to date. Edited January 7, 2018 by Cookiesandough 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 What was this major fight about, OP? I agree with the others, though, it appears he's avoiding you now.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 Neither. He's not busy. He's avoiding you. Before technology you would not have had the ability to see his moves while not with you. This knowledge is making you nuts. If you tell him you monitor his on line activity he will dump you. He's pulling back because he's trying to sort out the reasons behind your recent fight & how he feels about things now. You pestering him is raising his negative views of you. Back off. It's not rude but he is demonstrating a need for space. Respect that. When he reaches out to you again, be sweet but keep things light. You said you already worked things out a week ago so go back to how easy & breezy things were before the blow up. Don't make it hard or stressful to be with you. For right now, get off line. Get out of your house. Go do something . . . anything to keep from watching his activities. Go for a walk. Go shopping. Go sleigh riding. What you do doesn't matter just get away from your phone / computer. If you can manage to do something really fun, later today update your status with how much fun you had so he knows you are not sitting around obsessing about him. Yes do get out of the house and occupy your time for your own sanity. He is avoiding you because if he has time to be online, he has time to message you. When I was in a long distance relationship, the guy would sometimes not text me for an entire day! One time he told me his net was down, so he couldn't message me, yet he was active on social media (he either commented on someone's post or updated his status). If this continues, consider walking away, this behavior is not worth your stress. 1
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