cleophis Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 I've been with my b/f off and on for 6 months. About 3 months in I told him I didn't see us going anywhere. I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to get married. Not anytime soon, but I'd like to meet "the one". During the 3 months we weren't officially "dating" we still hung out and talked alot. I can tell him anything, we have so much in common and we do love each other. Then a few weeks ago we decided to give it another try. But I still find myself wondering, "is this the guy I'm gonna spend my life with". He's everything I want, just not exactly the guy I want. I don't know if us getting back together is because I want to be with him or if I'm just so scared of being alone that I'm settling, in which case that's not fair to either of us. Now I'm torn, I don't know if I should just be happy with what I have, or tell him I'm still not sure and end things definately, and risk losing the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I love him very much. He treats me right, makes me laugh, and he takes care of me. What should I do?
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 Here's a phrase I tell myself alot when clothes shopping, but I think it fits nicely here too. "When in doubt, don't." Don't continue a relationship if you think it's going nowhere (take it from me, I dated a guy for 4 years, and for two of those years, I knew we'd never get married... what a waste of my precious twenties!) It sounds like you're just not sure if he's the one. Why continue wasting time, when you could be finding Mr. Right? The longer you wait to break it off, the harder it will become to end the relationship.
Author cleophis Posted August 24, 2005 Author Posted August 24, 2005 I talked with him yesterday and told him I was still having doubts and that the best thing to do would be just to end it now before it get's worse. It was hard and it sucked breaking his heart, but it just didn't feel right being with him. So now we just accept it and move one.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 Good for you, cleo! I've said this in about 10 different posts already today, but last night I read "He's just not that into you" and it's a very good pick-me-up and a fast read. You should check it out because it'll make you feel better about your decision
sommersboy Posted September 3, 2005 Posted September 3, 2005 I've been with my girl for a year. Things ofcourse started out nice. Within 3 months we were living together and 8 months deep into the relationship were engaged. Now here is where it gets tricky...She moved out a couple of times AFTER the engagemnet saying she was confused and needed space to think. I gave it to her, when she came back, she said, I know I have a screwed up brain, and say and do things that are not right, but I also know I belong here. She has given me every mixed signal that you can think of. Whenever she moves back in, she says she is supposed to be here, I also tell her if you want out, leave niow before it gets worse. I have always given the choice to leave. 2 Weeks ago, she pulls this space thing again. she was gone for 2 weeks. Came home, said she wants to be here, again the next day we had a conversation about her not wanting to be here, gave her the option th leave again, but when I came home all the pictures were put back up, she took time to and effort to make it seem like she wanted to be here. Ofcourse seeing this I was so happy, figured the worst was behind us, and we would ,move on. 2 days later, she wakes up tells me she is not in love with me anymore, not attracted to me, not happy and wants out of the relationship. I was devastated. She has moved all her things out, gave back the ring and is acting like she hates me. I treated this girl like a princess. Gave her unconditional love, and supported her financially to a point. Whats with this girl??? Am I stupid to think she will be back? Is she does really confused and NEEDS space? I can't believe a girl who has said the things she has said to me, can just stop caring. Please, any advice ANYONE can give me is so worth it. Totally in love....
hoppy28 Posted September 4, 2005 Posted September 4, 2005 advice................RUN LIKE HELL!!!!!!! this girl obviously is toying with every emotion you have. she comes and goes as she pleases.............and each time you have allowed it. although you "gave her the option" to leave after coming back............you still gave her the power by even letting her get back to the point of giving her the option. Start NC right now. cut her out of your life in ALL ways. she doesnt know what the hell she wants and while figuring it out shell only drag you down if you continue to allow it. be strong, dont allow her to use you as a doormat. i myself have a sour taste in my mouth from situations like this. sooner or later buddy one of them will stick around. no games just pure love. im 28 and havent found it yet. seems to be slim pickins out there.
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