kscholze Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 me and my gf broke up about 3 months ago. I tried to be her friend but it hurt me to bad. Now I haven't talked to her in a month and the last time we did talk I told her to tell me she didn't love me in a romantic way anymore and she wouldnt. ? this saturday my good friend is having a 30th birthday party. we have the same birthday and we hang out every year. well its at a bar she works at. I know she will be there and it will be to painfull for me to see her, but why should she have all the fun with my group of friends? I still love her and I want her back. What do I do?
Merin Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Change the Venue of where your buddies party will be OR suck it up and make the best of your night with your Friends... Either way don't allow her presence or lack of to determine what you're going to do in your life... Good Luck and Happy Bday
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 and flirt your heart out with all the single chicks at the party!!! (for YOUR sake, not hers)
Author kscholze Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 I guess I should go. I wasn't going to go until today when I thought how could I be so selfish to miss my friends birthday because I am still in love with this girl. If I knew she didn't love me anymore I wouldn't have a problem with it, but the fact that she does still love me leaves me in limbo. I still think of her everyday, even though I have dated several other girls in the past 2 months. Even the one I really like, and I still cant forget about my ex. Heads a mess
Merin Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by kscholze I guess I should go. I wasn't going to go until today when I thought how could I be so selfish to miss my friends birthday because I am still in love with this girl. If I knew she didn't love me anymore I wouldn't have a problem with it, but the fact that she does still love me leaves me in limbo. I still think of her everyday, even though I have dated several other girls in the past 2 months. Even the one I really like, and I still cant forget about my ex. Heads a mess Don't allow it to leave you in limbo... unless or until she says to you "I want you back, I love you and I want this to work" then you have to move forward and make yourself happy. Hope you have a great time
Author kscholze Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 I just called my friend to rsvp. These few posts have helped me, glad I found this site, thanks
Merin Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by kscholze I just called my friend to rsvp. These few posts have helped me, glad I found this site, thanks Yay! Have a great time and don't sweat it
upsetnhurt Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 I'll make it easier for you.......trust me in that she does NOT love you anymore. Otherwise she would be with you!
Author kscholze Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 i guess thats the realization I need to come to. Just wish she would say it
upsetnhurt Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 You won't get it as they realize the moment they say it that they lose you as an option to fall back on. You need to move on for yourself....not for her. Let her figure her own life out and you need to do the same without her. It will take time yet you will start to realize that she is nuts for letting you go and you'll be glad she did as you can find someone who will want you as much as them. Life is good buddy.....there are greater things that you will need to worry about in the future. Don't let this hold you back.
Author kscholze Posted August 25, 2005 Author Posted August 25, 2005 the party is saturday, but yesterday was my birthday and she texted me. she said " happy birthday, I guess I wont bother anymore" I said "thanks" and didn't address the other part. I need to call her though and tell her that I still feel the same way and if we can't be together than I need to move on.
samski3409 Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 i know,it sucks bro! another day and all i can think about is calling her or texting her.the freaking urge is just killing me. why do we let these girls have such control over the way we feel?
JS17 Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by samski3409 i know,it sucks bro! another day and all i can think about is calling her or texting her.the freaking urge is just killing me. why do we let these girls have such control over the way we feel? cause you're normal
upsetnhurt Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 K....... why do you feel the need to tell her that? If she wants to be with you she will without you saying it........why give her the satisfaction of knowing that you are still attached to her? It seems like you think by giving her an ultimatum that you will be able to move forward at a quicker pace. You should be moving on regardless.
Author kscholze Posted August 25, 2005 Author Posted August 25, 2005 I know I just want her to know that I still want to be with her. I have not contacted her in a month and then she textd me. Do I need to tell her I still love her?
lostinmymind Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 Originally posted by kscholze I know I just want her to know that I still want to be with her. I have not contacted her in a month and then she textd me. Do I need to tell her I still love her? NO! You can't tell her that. She knows you still love her, and if she doesn't care or appreciate that then she isn't worth it. If you tell someone you love them after they break up with you it drives them away! The BEST possible thing you could do right now is live for yourself and begin getting over her. It's good if you get back together and it's good if you don't. You just have to do it in order to balance your life out again. I know it's really hard. I've been going through it myself. I NEVER thought I would be able to get over her, but I'm about 90% there. It's a great feeling. I still love her, but my thoughts and actions are no longer bound or governed by her.
Author kscholze Posted August 25, 2005 Author Posted August 25, 2005 you are right, the last time I told her I still loved her is when she said she was done talking to me and done with me Period. Then yesterday a month later she textd me and I quote " well at any rate I hope you have a good birthday, I guess I wont bother anymore. Have fun." Any idea what she means by that?
lostinmymind Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 It could mean a million different things, it's not worth analyzing. I've been there and done that for months, it makes things much worse. Just let it go (I know it's super hard). Just don't contact her anymore, at least for a few more months. Then you can maybe just probe to find out how or if she wants you in her life. You need to prepare for the worst though. I have learned that hard way that giving yourself false hope just gets you hurt. It doesn't mean you can't have hope, but you need to adopt that attitude of "whatever happens, happens". You need to take a few months to get over her, see things for how they really were without being blinded by love, and then analyze wether you want her in your life or not.
Praetorian Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 " well at any rate I hope you have a good birthday, I guess I wont bother anymore. Have fun." Well, for me it's obvious she still has feelings for you but that doesn't mean that you need to run to her arms. Like lostinmymind said, you HAVE to adopt the attitude of "whatever happens, happens". For your sake you have to be rational is this painfull moment and get over her. I'm in a similar situation. Good Luck!
Author kscholze Posted August 28, 2005 Author Posted August 28, 2005 so the party was last night. I went and as I was doing a birthday shot, I looked up and there was my ex. I gave her a hug and then we talked for about 20 minutes. I thought when I saw her I was going to go crazy and want to leave, but I didn't. I was OK. She waxs with another guy, and that didn't bother me either. ??? So then she came up to me and said she had to leave and I said "why?" Well then she told me that she loves me and I told her I miss her. She said " I miss you more than you know and thats why I need to leave" she told me to call her today. I don't want to be hurt, and I think anything said will hurt me ANYTHING. Should I text her and say I don't think I can talk to her right now?
heartnsoul Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 I'm going to be the devils advocate here and advise you to just call her. If you don't, you always wonder what it was she wanted to say. I respect that you don't want to experience a setback in your healing process but if that was going to happen, your night out seeing her would've been it. Call her and let HER do the talking, see what she has to say and then respond accordingly. If you sense in any way that the call was just for 'casual chat' purposes then you have the clearance you need to tell her that you can't be friends. I hope this helps a little. Good luck!!!
Recommended Posts