Sailynn Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Ex-GF contacts me after 1.4 years and wants to be friends. Wants to get together and have fun. Yet, it's all very superficial. The friends I now acquaint myself with, share deep conversations, hard times, good times and have fun. I'm really not getting any meaningful conversations from her. Also, I am not getting a friendship that is supportive to me. Just fluffy stuff. I am willing to open up, share myself and shore up any expectations I may have, but I feel I'm not getting the same in return. I was hoping we could get close again. I guess my problem is that I expected something different from her. In the past, she had been rather closed. I know she's probably busy right now, but I know that if you want to, really want to, you'll find the time and a way to talk to the one you want to be around. I would really like to be a man, and take a lead in involving us in activities we both could enjoy. However, it seems to really put me in a spot where I must put aside all the past and unconditionally offer my friendship, love, care and support. There is no garauntee I may get anything in return, other than her company. I think my time may be better spent, looking for other people to consider as a life mate. The quandry is, that I still love her and that love is pounding in me to just want to hang it all out there, but I might get blasted or hurt again if I put it out there. Oh Well! At least I get to vent on this site.
sami Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 What're trying to say here? Where do you stand and what do really want from her ?
Author Sailynn Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 ...and have a life with her and she with me. I am so fond of her, sometimes, I can't stand it. When we started dating, we started out a friends and it deepened into a loving and powerfully intimate relationship. Then it suffered a train wreck that it seemed either of us could stop. There was a breakdown in communications and understanding and it just fizzled away. I was heartbroken when she called it off. She specifically said, she did not want to go out with me anymore or be friends anymore. Her exact words. Now she says that she didn't mean that. She contends that she never said she didn't like me and want to be around me. She's saying this after over a year apart and a year of NC. Maybe whatever this "friendship" is to become is still developing. But I had already made up my mind that this was the woman I wanted and it's hard to turn back from that. She had won my heart, yet she discarded it. I just can't turn off my love like a switch. I'm dating other people and sometimes I'm happy and sometimes it makes me sick. She was the one, but maybe I wasn't for her.
alphamale Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by Sailynn I would really like to be a man, If you really want to be a man, SAILYNN, then you'll have nothing to do with her, period!
Author Sailynn Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 I have tons of new girlfriends, but just not one I want to get serious with. The thing is, I dated lots of girls and found this one girl where everything clicked and I thought I had really found something. So, I opened up my heart, she did the same and we fell in love. Okay, It failed. Result: Broken heart. FIX: Move on and don't waste time on trees that bear no fruit. Thanks.
Weird Posted September 5, 2005 Posted September 5, 2005 Damn, sounds a lot like the situation I ahd with my ex about a year ago. We hadnt talked for closed to 1.5 years and then poof, she popped up again and wanted to be friends. Like your ex, mine was not that fun to talk to because the conversations were all fluff and she was obsessed with work. Like you I still had feelings with her and I swear she still ahd feelings for me but was too afraid to move on that. In the end the friendship didnt work out because I just kept getting pissed off at how she was acting and I also realized that she had changed a bit form hwo she used to be and I didnt care much for her workaholic personality. Even though I tried, I still dont think exes can be friends.
1erty7o9 Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 I had this same problem with a particular female who shall go un named and it sucks big time. Wanting something that will never happen. You know though, the hardest part is letting go and thats the hardest lesson to learn in life. Let me give you some advice though, don't let her consume you, don't be obsesive and respect her decisions no matter how hard it is to follow through. Sometimes the hardest thing is the best thing even if you don't realise it at the time. Believe me I know. Also to add if it's to the stage where no meaningful conversation is being had don't get mad at her for it she'll end up hating you. I also learnt this the hard way.
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