confused05 Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Hello, Well Ill spill my guts, what im kinda looking for is kinda someone to tell me what all this means from anothers point of view cause im so sad and confused. Me and my girlfriend been dating for about 1.5 years moved in together 5 months ago etc. She also was pregnant in march but lost the baby, that is what led to us moving out together. Anyway we were so happy it got a little rough around 6-10 months but we made it and then it started to decline, when asked she would always say im tired etc well fast foward to last friday, I get a text in the morning ( are you happy ) I replied what does that mean and she wrote back ( in general with us ) I immediately got nervouse and left work to see her ( couldnt work 10 hours with that on my mind ) anyway we talked and cried and talked and she said shes just not happy and she doesnt know why, and that its not me im wonderfull and its her. I just cant really make out what all this means, Also to make things more confusing she wants to go back home to think about stuff and take a break a little, but she said we wont mess with anyone else and that she will leave all her stuff still at the apt and come by to do what she has to do in the daytime when im at work, she said id hate to go home and move out 100% just to find it this isnt what i want. My questions are is there hope? I mean why wouldnt she just leave like now or friday, why is she staying for another week or so and also wanting to not just move everything out just yet. This is so hard for me and im praying for the best. She has felt smothered and trapped in the past and feels she needs some space it just scares me cause she has an ex that still sweats her but thats not the issue. She says she loves me so much and shes so scared to make the wrong decision and she doesnt want to hurt me, and doesnt want me to hate her. This last week that shes been at the house still shes been so pleasant to me and giving me so much more sex than normal I dont know what to make out of it. Anything anyone could do to help me understand this would be so appreciated. By the way we are both 26 years old and have good jobs. She asks me too if i made a mistake would you take me back and i said i probaly shouldnt say this but yes I would, I just wish i knew what was in her head, I would think she already knows what is going to happen. I just hope that she really means what shes saying and really may come back and that she doesnt have it already in her head what shes gonna do and is just saying and doing this stuff to try to make it easier. We have so many memories, pets together, a really nice place ( nicer than her parents ) she has full benifits under me etc, ( i know all that doesnt make a person happy ) but i just wish i knew what was really bothering her, Im really close with my mom and she says ( she has to find out whats wrong with herself inside ) and you cant help that she has to figure it out herself. She also has brought up things like : I use to go out all the time people always use to call me now the phone barely rings etc Man I wish I could see into the future. Its so wierd that shes probaly moving out this week but still says things like i want to get this for our place, and hey did u buy that new video game for us? It just doesnt make sense to me.
hoppy28 Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 this is a toughy.............................im not sure what to say really. im telling you this for your own good. i laugh as i sit here and tell you this because i cant believe im the one trying to give advice. im having a hard time myself.......but this isnt about me. from my past experience's ive learned that if a girl says "i need a break" it usually means something totally differant. WHAT IS THIS BASKETBALL???!!! we take breaks in sports, at work, when we drive long distances. i've been told the very same thing...............only to findout a "break" was permenant. ive also learned recently "i want to be single" really means "i dont want you in my life leave me alone." my best advice to you is...................if she really does take this break. the meaning behind could be alot differant then how you interprit it. if she leaves..........give her the space. i would suggest NO CONTACT at this time. she wont be able to figure herself out if your always asking her whats really going on. understand if she leaves..........she may not be coming back. i very well may not have helped your situation..............im just being honest. from a man to a man. im 28 and have been down this similar road before. if she's that confused about her relationship with you............you may need to walk away. if she does leave and realizes that leaving was a mistake then youll also have that road to go down. relationships are tough, very tough. goodluck man..........
Drivetildriven Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 It sounds a lot like my situation. My ex woman wanted a break, had sex with other dudes, then we got back together. I love her and I guess I'm weak so that's why I wanted her back even after that. Then six months later she broke up with me for good. Breaks are never good. Just play it cool, give her space and see what she does. It might take a few weeks for her to figure things out or 8 months.
bennychase Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 Rarely does, "I need a break" mean, "im coming back to you". I have learned this not only in my life, but also in reading a lot of posts here. It hurts, and in the beginning of the break things appear like they will work, and as time progresses, 9 times out of 10, she moves on. Its that little bit of hope that keeps one hanging on as long as some of us do. I agree with the realists who posted. Play it cool and give her space. You need to move on as much as you can. Try not to hang on her every word when she tells you she is coming back. I even suggest living your life like she is not coming back. Doing so has 2 benefits: 1) if she doesn’t come back your life is already on track and it will be easier to move on. 2) Though you are there for her, she can see that your life continues and she better hurry-up as much as possible if she still wants to be with you. Otherwise, you will be moved on and over her. Play it cool. Try to be be understanding and supportive within reason. Be careful not to hang on her every word. And if she says she wants to start seeing other people, you should probably move on completely. No questions asked.
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