jennyblue Posted January 2, 2018 Posted January 2, 2018 Hi loveshack community, I have been single for just over a year now after going through a divorce which has really knocked my confidence. I think its time I get myself back out there and start dating again. I was thinking to join a dating service/app, what are best ones for a 40 something year old as I'm not too clued up on how they work. My only issue is I don't want to be seen by certain people as I'm sure you can understand, any help/suggestions I would be extremely grateful:) Jenny
Zippy2000 Posted January 2, 2018 Posted January 2, 2018 Best dating app? There isn't any. I would start off with a dating site first. They are safer and have a contact if anything goes wrong. Dating App? That's just it. Anyone can build an app. Lots of people looking for hook ups, scam artists and lots of "Spambots" who sent automatic replies. Try free dating site first to get a feel of things first.
Sunlight72 Posted January 2, 2018 Posted January 2, 2018 Hi Jenny, I would caution you to not try dating apps or websites if you're looking to build confidence or self-esteem. There are genuine people registered on dating sites, but there are also many, many emotionally lacking and self-serving and lying people on them. The only way you can figure out who is who is by conversing with them (at best), or meeting in person a few times before you'll know which they are. So! If you do go forward with online dating - regard everyone as a complete stranger until about date 3. Some aren't even malicious - many people don't know that 'emotionally healthy' is a state humans can seek. I'm not kidding. I would actually encourage you to do other social things instead. MeetUp is a good place to start. Or join a dance class (some are free for the first class), or take a cooking workshop, or a daytrip with a group/guide, etc. The last time I was in Paris I took a cooking class and met a woman who I went on 2 dates with. We were both passing through, but it was nice to meet someone and do some more fun things together. I hadn't signed up for the workshops to find a date, but what do you know? A nice surprise. Come to think of it, I was also in another town in France taking a French class for a week, and went on a picnic and a date with a woman in my class there. Nothing serious, but if we lived there, who knows? This is a much better way to meet people and get a general feel if you might like to spend one-on-one time with them. Also, at workshops and MeetUps, I've found people more closely represent themselves as they really are - no one is trying to put up a false impression to attract anyone. They're just doing something they enjoy - like you are. Bonus - if you don't meet anyone to date, you still had a nice time
Sunlight72 Posted January 2, 2018 Posted January 2, 2018 (edited) Oh, and if you do try some dating apps, this would be my list in the US Match.com, MeetMindful maybe - Bumble, Zoosk Not recommended- Tinder, Plenty of Fish Craigslist (almost didn't put it on here, but you said you're new to this, so I thought I'd better be sure!) And - it sounds like you want a relationship (sooner or later). If so - do not put any pictures that are even vaguely sexy. You don't need to, and you'll only cause yourself trouble. Also - write a profile, and at the end of it tell men to comment on something in your profile so you can tell if they read it. Also - just sign up for Match.com, and MeetMindful (it has a two-day free access so you can see if you want to pay), and Zoosk within a week. I don't see the use in only signing up for one of them (like I did). Just jump in. But really - don't. Do some social things you enjoy first, and see how you like that after 3 months. Edited January 2, 2018 by Sunlight72
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