Surprise Kiss II - The Sequel (NYE)

[Roses777]

So I had a third date with a girl I hadn't seen for 3 months because she chose a different guy and the relationship did not last. She came back to me on Halloween and wanted me to meet her but my phone had died.

 

We met up at the mall last night, had food together after her friend didn't show, then shared cookies. She offered to have me join her at her favourite pub and we sang. She seemed really sleepy so we didn't stay for the last song.

 

We walked outside and she seemed to wait for me, saying she wanted to keep me company until my bus arrived. This really touched me so I went to kiss her initially on the cheek. She asked,'Are you trying to kiss me?' So I think I said 'yeah' (her head was pointing downward so it was an awkward angle) and then I kissed her on the lips, put her arm into mine and walked over to the bus stop. I kissed her again on her temple and lips and gave her a long hug.

 

She never said anything bad about it in person but later, over Facebook, said she was surprised that I had kissed her. She also said I should have asked first.

 

I am very confused. She seems upset that I kissed her?!

[Poutrew]

Confused? You moved in on her too quickly... My advice is to run away from this gal... the next time you go in for a kiss or a hug she might accuse you of molesting her. You don't want to be answering a door knock from the police on Christmas day and be forced to defend yourself over something... 'but your honor, it was only a kiss..." Stay safe.

Edited December 24, 2017 by Poutrew

[Roses777]

This isn't the 1950's. Can someone with dating experience please reply? Thank you.

[d0nnivain]

The girl is bonkers. When she realized you were trying to kiss her, she could have taken a step back or even said no if she didn't want the kiss.

 

You had been on 3 dates. It was a romantic - ish setting.

 

Her posting on social media & complaining about this is a sign of immaturity.

 

I wouldn't waste my time on someone who hasn't grown up yet.

 

Poutrew isn't wrong in his / her cautions to you. In this political climate a lot of people scream sexual assault for far less then what you have. The girl sounds like trouble to me too.

[LoverOfDance]

@Poutrew - Your reply is quite strange. I was wondering how you jumped to such a conclusion. Were you trying to make a joke? I read some of your threads out of curiosity and it seems like you jump into conclusions a little too quickly. Just wanted you to know that.

 

OP - From what you've written, this girl seems to like spending time with you. I had a date last night and afterwards I also walked him to the bus/streetcar stop and wanted to wait with him until his streetcar came. I did that because I wanted to stay with him a little longer - I liked spending time with him. Maybe this girl feels the same about you.

 

Some girls like to be asked before being kissed for the first time. I like to be asked as well because I think it's sweet but I also don't mind if the guy simply goes in for the kiss.

 

I think just ask her next time and see how she responds. It'll show that you respect her and care about her feelings. If she responds positively, you obviously don't have to ask her again after that, lol.

Edited December 24, 2017 by LoverOfDance

[SevenCity]

I think you are missing the point that you were, and always will be, her plan B. She chose someone else over you and only came to you when it didn’t work out. She will likely find someone she likes better than you in the future.

 

If she liked you and wanted to kiss, she would have allowed it and not made a post about it (which is immature).

 

I would keep moving from this chick.

[LoverOfDance]

OP: Just so you know, a lot of ppl on this site tend to jump to the conclusion that "you need to move on", lol. They aren't always right.

 

@SevenCity - What is so wrong with going with plan B when plan A doesn't work out?

 

OP, did she make a status on FB complaining about you kissing her and not asking first? If this is the case then she sounds like someone you need to run away from. But if she simply sent you a message letting you know how she felt, then I'd say she's fine. Keep dating her and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, then it's a learning experience. Learning experiences are good in my book.

[Roses777]

OP, did she make a status on FB complaining about you kissing her and not asking first? If this is the case then she sounds like someone you need to run away from. But if she simply sent you a message letting you know how she felt, then I'd say she's fine. Keep dating her and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, then it's a learning experience. Learning experiences are good in my book.

 

I know that she was talking to a friend(s?) after she sent me a PM saying she was surprised that I had kissed her and she was expecting to be asked first. AFAIK, I cannot see any new posts on her wall about the date.

 

Hopefully I can see her again. She is very considerate and caring.

[SevenCity]

OP: Just so you know, a lot of ppl on this site tend to jump to the conclusion that "you need to move on", lol. They aren't always right.

 

@SevenCity - What is so wrong with going with plan B when plan A doesn't work out?

 

OP, did she make a status on FB complaining about you kissing her and not asking first? If this is the case then she sounds like someone you need to run away from. But if she simply sent you a message letting you know how she felt, then I'd say she's fine. Keep dating her and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, then it's a learning experience. Learning experiences are good in my book.

 

What’s wrong with being a plan b is you will always be the option. If you want things to work out long term with a woman you have to be her first choice.

 

Think about it. You have two woman and you are meh on one and and really like the other. You go with the one you like and it doesn’t work out so you go with the plan b.

 

That’s going along then you meet a woman you like as much as the original one who also likes you. What are you gonna do?

[alphamale]

if you have to force a kiss or ask for one then you're barking up the wrong tree

[preraph]

I'm proud of you for taking a shot and trying to avoid the dreaded friendzone, but unfortunately, she's not interested in you that way. I think it was crabby of her to chastise you for not asking. After all, you went for the cheek and SHE brought it up. Anyway, sounds difficult and argumentative and I think you have to forget about anything romantic with her.

[Poutrew]

@Poutrew - Your reply is quite strange. I was wondering how you jumped to such a conclusion. Were you trying to make a joke? I read some of your threads out of curiosity and it seems like you jump into conclusions a little too quickly. Just wanted you to know that.

 

 

No joke. The girl was totally passive. She shut down and he mistook that for acquiescence. That is a dangerous miscommunication. How many men have been arrested for date rape when the female said she was raped, and the male said 'But she never told me to stop..."? He still goes to jail and has his life ruined.... a man in todays environment needs to be hyper sensitive that he isn't putting his future in jeopardy with even a tiny kiss... As has been noted by others, this girls' reaction to what he did was so 'off' that it borders on 'crazy', and I would move on... Now if my reaction makes me too knee - jerk well, I also act the same way when I touch a hot coal... I have been alive long enough to see just how something that started off innocent can land a person in hot water, and will do what I can to tell someone that I see a large pot of boiling trouble dead ahead.

 

It always amazes me how we can read the same post and come to such opposed conclusions, and then I read what you said in your other post on this topic about how being 'plan B' isn't such a bad thing, and it at least makes sense that we will never see eye to eye on most matters...thankfully.

[Roses777]

That's my indirect answer, it seems. She was upset that I had kissed her because while I am still on her Facebook, she hasn't read the fact that I was looking for her lost phone when she logged in an hour or so ago.

 

Has not spoken to me today, so it looks like she wants to ignore that it ever happened and avoid me for now.

[d0nnivain]

Has not spoken to me today, so it looks like she wants to ignore that it ever happened and avoid me for now.

 

You can't jump to that conclusion on Christmas Eve. She may just be busy with family obligations.

[LoverOfDance]

@Poutrew and @SevenCity - The girl the OP is dating had initially ended things without really getting to know him. My point is that if she dates OP, she might find out that her Plan B was actually better than her Plan A after all. You never know how things will end up. You're advising him to end things prematurely without even trying. I don't agree.

 

OP - I haven't spoken to the guy I went on a date with yesterday either. Doesn't mean I didn't like him. If he doesn't contact me after a day or two, I will either contact him or move on. Maybe give it a little more time before concluding that she isn't interested.

[gaius]

She was probably just using you for an ego stroke since she passed you over once before and was a bit perturbed when you went for it. Good for you though, being a man and having balls. Don't ever ask permission for a kiss.

[Roses777]

It took her 12h to read my messages. No reply to them of course. She knows I did want to see the fireworks on New Years' Eve with her. At the time, she said she had no plans but "we will talk about it".

 

I don't want to let it drop because she will make other plans in the next week so might man-up again and make something happen again. Have nothing to lose at this point..

[Roses777]

Hello.

 

Had a date last weekend with this girl. It was our 2nd formal date. I won't cover what happened on the last date except we met up and I surprise-kissed her. She seemed upset that I hadn't asked so I promised I wouldn't do it again unless she wanted it.

 

Fast forward to yesterday. Went to two services of church with her, then went downtown and talked some.. About past relationships and kissing.. We had our dinner date.. talked some more about our families and possible future.

 

We then bounced back to her favourite pub after the meal, she was tired so she leaned on me on the bus and we cuddled at the pub too with her putting her head in my lap with her jacket as the pillow.

 

We stayed at the pub and sort of danced until 1am when I said I'd better bus back. It was a 18-20h day for me to travel to meet her and do all of that.

 

So I left her at the end of her street and she promised she would come back and give me a ride to the bus stop (it was super cold last night) if she could. I managed to get a lift from a stranger but then she showed up and offered to drive me back to my place to feed my cats and to return to her place because her parents are gone.. so I got to meet her brother and her brother's girlfriend+friends.

 

I found out after that she wasn't allowed to take the car and stayed the night on her couch. I offered to share the couch and she seemed open to it but we didn't liedown together like before as her family was upstairs. Fast forward to this morning and her mom was furious with her taking the car AND having a "friend" over.

 

So now her mom wants her to move out at 22 suddenly. She thinks she could live with an elderly lady from her church but I am thinking that is unlikely. I offered for her to move in with me because she is far too nice to be homeless suddenly because her mom is trying to be a real jerk to a nice girl.

 

She turned down moving in because she thought I'd want to have someone else move in here eventually and she would obviously be stuck in a hard place. I assured that if she moved in, there wouldn't be someone else moving in too.

[Miss Spider]

It sounds a bit like friend zone with an unexpected kiss thrown in.