jimbo Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 So, I decided to throw my hat in the water again and see if I catch anything. We've been texting for a bit til our first date, which was yesterday (yes, I paid). She's starting a business out and I know money is tight. She's 34, building a nice business and lives on her own with a couple of dogs (animals). She seemed open to another date, and she said Saturday's are best. I did invite her to my place, but she said she needs to get to know me better first, fair enough I said. We both love to cook, and she seemed very interested. However, at the end of the night, I did attempt a kiss, however, she instead went for a long hung. She said something like a long hung brings out oxytocin or something. On the way back, she did text me and thanked me for the dinner (two salads and tea.) and the long hung with a smiley face. We then texted again for about an hour or so then she went to sleep. She was also married before as well. I was a bit taken back at the no kiss, but then received the text and we were texting back and forth. Again, she did at the end of the night suggest we should go to a place with a fireplace to keep warm. She then offered next Saturday or the Saturday after. So a bit bewildered. Usually, when I've not kissed a girl after a first date, they poof and I never hear from them again.
newyorker11356 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 Meh, not always the case. Sometimes, when I have kissed them on the first date, they vanished afterward. One time, I didn't kiss someone till the 2nd date, and she initiated it. Means nothing.
staggerlee71 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 your good cuz. she is guiding. she is setting the pace. clearly your pace is NASCAR. her bit about oxytocin is good. on the surface it says shes smarter than you. ease back, don't smother, when you want to text don't, wait until it seems ridiculously long, text, set date, and don't contact her til you see her after the date. hear my words...at this moment in time, only you can f%^^& this up. she digs you...go slow brotha
mortensorchid Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 The proof is within 48 hours on the man's party. Do you like her? CALL HER. Otherwise you will end up texting for a few days and then you will taper off. Texting is a passive means of communication, calls are direct. If I (as the woman) have not heard from the man within 48 hours after the first get together - as in a phone call - with in the first 48 hours, then it's done. If it's any later than that, or a text, that means he will be a friend maybe but not a lover. He may call a few days after that (or text), you may have a second get together, but after that it's done. 1
Author jimbo Posted January 1, 2018 Author Posted January 1, 2018 Trying not to screw it up. LOL. I wasn't going to text til Wednesday to firm up plans on Saturday; unless she contacts me first. It sounds stupid and childish, but I do not want to seem over anxious.
Author jimbo Posted January 1, 2018 Author Posted January 1, 2018 The proof is within 48 hours on the man's party. Do you like her? CALL HER. Otherwise you will end up texting for a few days and then you will taper off. Texting is a passive means of communication, calls are direct. If I (as the woman) have not heard from the man within 48 hours after the first get together - as in a phone call - with in the first 48 hours, then it's done. If it's any later than that, or a text, that means he will be a friend maybe but not a lover. He may call a few days after that (or text), you may have a second get together, but after that it's done. She seems more of a texter. 1
staggerlee71 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 call her, make plans, keep it short on the phone. she agrees, never speak again til date create tension, your the man, and you know what you want that's atitude
newyorker11356 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 She seems more of a texter. Most people are nowadays. You don't need to call, just send her a text within the first 24-48 hours after the date saying that you want to take her out again.
staggerlee71 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 Most people are nowadays. You don't need to call, just send her a text within the first 24-48 hours after the date saying that you want to take her out again. no way. every guy does this. call her. set a date, upbeat, incontrol and hang up. no chat, just nail it down. BTW, she wont bang on the second date either so don't push have fun, build chemistry and then leave her, leave her when she expects a move. and then wait and get back to us
SevenCity Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 The proof is within 48 hours on the man's party. Do you like her? CALL HER. Otherwise you will end up texting for a few days and then you will taper off. Texting is a passive means of communication, calls are direct. If I (as the woman) have not heard from the man within 48 hours after the first get together - as in a phone call - with in the first 48 hours, then it's done. If it's any later than that, or a text, that means he will be a friend maybe but not a lover. He may call a few days after that (or text), you may have a second get together, but after that it's done. Having unknown rules and expectations you put on potential mates is a bad idea. You could be passing by someone who is good for you because they are busy or have a life. OP - I usually don’t pursue if I get rejected for a kiss. One time I decided to it turned into a FWB for a few months after the second date. So you don’t know.
newyorker11356 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 no way. every guy does this. call her. set a date, upbeat, incontrol and hang up. no chat, just nail it down. BTW, she wont bang on the second date either so don't push have fun, build chemistry and then leave her, leave her when she expects a move. and then wait and get back to us I don't usually call, and I do just fine. Nowadays, it's simply much more convenient to text. Not to say you can't call, of course. Btw, that's not good advice. If she expects you to make a move, then make a move, lol.
staggerlee71 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 I don't usually call, and I do just fine. Nowadays, it's simply much more convenient to text. Not to say you can't call, of course. Btw, that's not good advice. If she expects you to make a move, then make a move, lol. but they are not keepers
newyorker11356 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 but they are not keepers Yeah, because that's the difference between them being a keeper or not...
Author jimbo Posted January 1, 2018 Author Posted January 1, 2018 So we were talking and texting about a restaurant with a fireplace. Low and behold, I found one; but it's close to her house. I normally offer to pick a the woman up, but not sure if this is too forward or not. I will text her tom. When she starts texting, it's hard to get her to stop it seems. LOL. She considers texting and emails "romantic". It's cute. Highly irregular for a 34 y.o. woman in NJ. We shall see.
SevenCity Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 So we were talking and texting about a restaurant with a fireplace. Low and behold, I found one; but it's close to her house. I normally offer to pick a the woman up, but not sure if this is too forward or not. I will text her tom. When she starts texting, it's hard to get her to stop it seems. LOL. She considers texting and emails "romantic". It's cute. Highly irregular for a 34 y.o. woman in NJ. We shall see. You invited her back to your place on the first date, asking to pick her up seems a lot less forward. She may not want you to, but I don’t think asking is a big deal.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 So we were talking and texting about a restaurant with a fireplace. Low and behold, I found one; but it's close to her house. I normally offer to pick a the woman up, but not sure if this is too forward or not. I will text her tom. When she starts texting, it's hard to get her to stop it seems. LOL. She considers texting and emails "romantic". It's cute. Highly irregular for a 34 y.o. woman in NJ. We shall see. You seem to have ideas of what is normal and what is not that aren't actually true. It's totally normal for a 34 year old woman to prefer texting. I'm 45 and feel the same way. It's also totally normal for a woman to prefer not to have a kiss on the first date. My advice is to throw away all of your assumptions and just go with the flow. 1
Author jimbo Posted January 2, 2018 Author Posted January 2, 2018 You seem to have ideas of what is normal and what is not that aren't actually true. It's totally normal for a 34 year old woman to prefer texting. I'm 45 and feel the same way. It's also totally normal for a woman to prefer not to have a kiss on the first date. My advice is to throw away all of your assumptions and just go with the flow. Meant that she seemed nice and genuine. It was a positive statement, not negative. Nonetheless, I texted her this afternoon wishing a Happy NY's and my suggestion for a place several hours ago, never heard back. She usually responds pretty fast. Strange. Surprised she went dark. Going to leave it as that. It is what it is. Just a bit confusing. What can you do..
Recommended Posts