I had my first dating experience this year, and I’m upset that I didn’t workout...

[CarAndZam]

Hey guys. I’m posting this to vent I guess.

I’m not going to go until detail why things didn’t work out, and how I can fix things or ask for advice. I’ve done that enough.

 

I’m 20, (19 when I dated this girl). I had never dated someone before, kissless virgin and accepted that I can never attract a woman not long ago. Well not long ago, I followed this girl on IG. I had recognized her because she went to the same elementary school I did (different high schools though). We had never said a word to each other ever in our lives. After following each other, we found ourselves liking each other’s every posts. Eventually she messaged me, and we talked about lots of things. After a few weeks, SHE asked me out (again, I didn’t think a girl would ever like me so I never bothered to ask her out, looking back it was obviously she was attracted to me and I just couldn’t see it). She asked me, and we went to go see a movie on our first date. It was an amazing first date. We talked a lot and I felt lots of chemistry with her.

 

It made so happy that I was talking to someone from my elementary days. I’ve always been someone that has valued my childhood a lot..... and I guess I liked our little story. Two children who never talked to each other in elementary would eventually date each other in college you know?

 

In total, we went on 7 dates, and we talked about it getting serious and we both wanted an exclusive relationship.

 

But god damn, it was a very flawed dating experience. Due to my lack of experience and social life, I would scared the whole time I would lose her interested. Stalked her social media a lot.

 

I didn’t even make a move until the 7th date (YES, 7th date!) because again I had no experience and I was so nervous about making moves and such. I got as far as holding her hand, and her resting her head on my chest. Never kissed

 

So you can imagine that my insecurities and lack of experience made this whole thing doomed from the start.

 

We got into some argument through texting, won’t go into detail. But she said somethings that mad me question this thing we had, so I dumped her, thinking that I had already lost her interest. (Whether I did or not I will never know). It was a messy break up, and I’m sure I came off as hypocritical and manipulative, but oh well. Point is I lost her, and it makes me so sad. It was a great experience, I really liked her and was strongly attracted to her. We had great chemistry. But it just didn’t work out.....

 

I didn’t just lose a potential romantic partner, I lost my one and only friend. I have no social life, and suck at socializing.

 

What’s sucks is that I think she’s the only girl I will only attract. I’m really ugly guys. I know this. Worst of all, I’m 6’5, and I feel like my ugliness projects it’s self more in public. On top of that, I don’t have attractive qualities like social status, confidence, money, assertiveness etc.

 

Yet this girl saw past my flaws and accepted me for who I was. And I lost her.

[Cobra_X]

What’s sucks is that I think she’s the only girl I will only attract. I’m really ugly guys. I know this. Worst of all, I’m 6’5, and I feel like my ugliness projects it’s self more in public. On top of that, I don’t have attractive qualities like social status, confidence, money, assertiveness etc.

Yet this girl saw past my flaws and accepted me for who I was. And I lost her.

 

Your whole attitude is messed up. First at 6'5" you can literally dip your face in acid and still attract women just based on your height.

 

However, they will be repulsed by your insecurities and lack of confidence. You need to get a handle on that.

 

My suggestion is to start by working on your social skills. Watch some videos by groups like Real Social Dynamics. Some of their stuff is crap, but it puts you in the right mindset. Once you actually understand what creates attraction in women then this stuff gets really easy. I would say 60-70% of the female population is the exact same in terms of what attracts them.

 

Also... never listen to what women say about what they want in a man. I don't know why, but the vast majority of their advice is actually counter productive.

[bachdude]

First of all, if you attracted her, you can attract others.

 

Second, social skills and confidence can be learned. But do it for yourself first, not to get dates.

 

Third, your height is a plus, NOT a minus. Stand tall and be proud.

 

Fourth, work on your self image. Be kind to yourself, man! You tear yourself down a lot.

 

Fifth, we all just need to be realistic about who we will attract and look at the positives. Personally, I have always been attracted to geeky looking women. Haha Something about them I really like!

 

But lighten up on yourself and get into social situations and practice.

 

Best of luck, bro!

[BaileyB]

Rarely, does the first relationship work out to be a lifelong relationship.

 

I hope you learned from the experience. You are young, you will have more opportunities... If you are open to it.

[rightondude]

were you honest with this girl about your lack of experience in the art of amore (that's fancy for love) or were you acting like you knew the deal? I screwed up in my early days trying to act like I knew what I was doing.

 

What about you is ugly exactly?