SpinScratch Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 Too many guys have no sense of wooing a woman, except maybe my Latin guy friends. They still know how it’s done. Just take her home and “bang her”. WTF. Maybe it’s because in my generation, women made you work for it. Chivalry is dead in the West. He has already wooed her to the point that she is wondering why they havent done anything yet. He's wooed her so long that she's bored and out the way out the door... so yeah... its time to bang her now.
bachdude Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 He has already wooed her to the point that she is wondering why they havent done anything yet. He's wooed her so long that she's bored and out the way out the door... so yeah... its time to bang her now. I guess if you consider hanging out at the mall, going to arcades, voice chatting while playing video games, and talking on FB as wooing, then yeah, he's been doing a lot of "wooing". OP, make it a special date that shows you put some thought into it and it wasn't just another night of "hanging out".
SpinScratch Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 I guess if you consider hanging out at the mall, going to arcades, voice chatting while playing video games, and talking on FB as wooing, then yeah, he's been doing a lot of "wooing". OP, make it a special date that shows you put some thought into it and it wasn't just another night of "hanging out". He's been cultivating a connection with her for weeks, maybe months. They are doing things that they both enjoy. It doesnt always have to be red roses and fancy dinners. If a fancy dinner will make her happy... by all means go for it.
act00 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 (edited) Hang at the mall and hold hands, play XBox or Playstation, hang at the arcade? Did you have a hard time convincing your parents to drop you off at the mall? Did they make you do your chores first? Did you finish your homework? Honestly, I have to agree, this sounds like something that walked straight out of junior high. You're 25. Take her to dinner. Prepare a nice meal at home for her and plug in a movie. Go out to the movies. The arcade is fine and dandy if this is something you both enjoy doing together, but consider some activities where the focus is each other, not on something else. After a month and a half of being romantically involved, after knowing her for two years, the only accomplishment is hand holding, one kiss, and lots of emojis. I'm flummoxed. You spent the day on the bed, and you didn't get some good necking going? That was the perfect opportunity to bring up the girlfriend/boyfriend talk...some sex...or at least a really good makeout session. I don't know what you envisioned as the "perfect moment," but nothing ever really works out like that, and you have to take opportunity when it's there. It wouldn't surprise me if this woman just got tired of waiting and wondering and moved on. If you're this passive, some other guy, a guy with confidence, is going to swoop her up. It concerns me that you state you feel like **** when you're not talking to her, and you've found absolutely no joy in life during this period she seems to have dropped off the planet. There is something seriously wrong with this, and you need to seek some help and guidance. You can't allow your whole world to be wrapped up in some girl. I would be running for the hills if my guys's every ability to be happy and functional was wrapped up in me...that takes way too much work and it's not my job or responsibility to make you happy. You have to be happy all by yourself. If you want to have a happy, functional, and healthy relationship with a woman, you seriously need to work on yourself first. It's normal to fall into a funk when you break up with someone, but you have to move forward, have joy in your life all by yourself, learn from your mistakes, and get back on that horse. You sound needy...you ARE needy. You're 25 years old, yet you read like a 13-year-old man-child who is maneuvering around how to deal with girls. I really hope this date goes well and things get back on track with this lady...step up and go after what you want. Women like a confident man. Edited January 1, 2018 by act00 1
bachdude Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 And OP, in the name of love, be sure to bring up the “what are we” talk. If you don’t bring this up, she may give up. It’s kind of your last chance here. 1
smackie9 Posted January 1, 2018 Posted January 1, 2018 Just my opinion but her being so young, pan-sexual, and with a bundle of mental health issues...she is unreliable, and is unable to sustain a relationship, or focus her attention on just one person. It's just a bad combination. Even a normal person would have struggled to get anything solid with her. It wouldn't have mattered if you made a move early on or not. She is a difficult personality to deal with. OP you just need to meet someone who doesn't have a bunch a baggage. One that is stable, happy and mature. That type of person will help you to relax and feel good about yourself. 1
Author cieric Posted January 1, 2018 Author Posted January 1, 2018 (edited) Hang at the mall and hold hands, play XBox or Playstation, hang at the arcade? Did you have a hard time convincing your parents to drop you off at the mall? Did they make you do your chores first? Did you finish your homework? Honestly, I have to agree, this sounds like something that walked straight out of junior high. You're 25. Take her to dinner. Prepare a nice meal at home for her and plug in a movie. Go out to the movies. The arcade is fine and dandy if this is something you both enjoy doing together, but consider some activities where the focus is each other, not on something else. After a month and a half of being romantically involved, after knowing her for two years, the only accomplishment is hand holding, one kiss, and lots of emojis. I'm flummoxed. You spent the day on the bed, and you didn't get some good necking going? That was the perfect opportunity to bring up the girlfriend/boyfriend talk...some sex...or at least a really good makeout session. I don't know what you envisioned as the "perfect moment," but nothing ever really works out like that, and you have to take opportunity when it's there. It wouldn't surprise me if this woman just got tired of waiting and wondering and moved on. If you're this passive, some other guy, a guy with confidence, is going to swoop her up. It concerns me that you state you feel like **** when you're not talking to her, and you've found absolutely no joy in life during this period she seems to have dropped off the planet. There is something seriously wrong with this, and you need to seek some help and guidance. You can't allow your whole world to be wrapped up in some girl. I would be running for the hills if my guys's every ability to be happy and functional was wrapped up in me...that takes way too much work and it's not my job or responsibility to make you happy. You have to be happy all by yourself. If you want to have a happy, functional, and healthy relationship with a woman, you seriously need to work on yourself first. It's normal to fall into a funk when you break up with someone, but you have to move forward, have joy in your life all by yourself, learn from your mistakes, and get back on that horse. You sound needy...you ARE needy. You're 25 years old, yet you read like a 13-year-old man-child who is maneuvering around how to deal with girls. I really hope this date goes well and things get back on track with this lady...step up and go after what you want. Women like a confident man. It's part of why I don't bother with relationships. I become needy. I've tried so hard in this one not to be...at least not show it to her but it seems clear I wasn't aggressive enough. I've been a bit better recently since I started taking supplements and reading this forum although my anxiety is still the same. It's so rare I like any woman either as I'm picky. I've had opportunities in the past but I had zero interest in any of the women that liked me. And the one time I did really catch strong feelings and I opened up, I got led on twice. Although I know I ****ed that up. It's made me extra cautious and more closed up. Combine all that with social anxiety and it's a ****storm. Just my opinion but her being so young, pan-sexual, and with a bundle of mental health issues...she is unreliable, and is unable to sustain a relationship, or focus her attention on just one person. It's just a bad combination. Even a normal person would have struggled to get anything solid with her. It wouldn't have mattered if you made a move early on or not. She is a difficult personality to deal with. OP you just need to meet someone who doesn't have a bunch a baggage. One that is stable, happy and mature. That type of person will help you to relax and feel good about yourself. It does worry me a bit although she's medicated besides the adhd. It seems most women I attract are pansexual for whatever reason. I don't know if they look for something a bit different in men or not. Mutual attraction is extremely rare for me. I'm not someone who goes looking for relationships or cares to have one. I'm mostly just in to sexual ones (which I got lucky on the one I had). But this girl was just about the only person I had interest in something for more with. We'll see how it goes.. Edited January 1, 2018 by cieric
Author cieric Posted January 4, 2018 Author Posted January 4, 2018 (edited) Now the question is, do I ask "what are we"/"Do you want to be my girlfriend" or something like "let's talk about where this is going" before sex or after? She is a virgin still..but she's done oral. I ask this because she may not want to do anything until it's official. I don't want to scare her. Doubtful it goes all the way but I'm planning on at least oral. Edited January 4, 2018 by cieric
Jdoublenn Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 Now the question is, do I ask "what are we"/"Do you want to be my girlfriend" or something like "let's talk about where this is going" before sex or after? She is a virgin still..but she's done oral. I ask this because she may not want to do anything until it's official. I don't want to scare her. Doubtful it goes all the way but I'm planning on at least oral. Have the talk before sex. Sex should not be rushed but you already KNOW she wants the “talk”. She wants to be your official gf. I’ll say it again: DO NOT rush sex. Especially with a virgin. Be ready when shes ready, but let her tell you when. Make her your girlfriend now. 1
John111111 Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 If you be good for ff. need work) Reade here . Love every day not easy:)
Iseult Posted January 4, 2018 Posted January 4, 2018 Good job, lad! Now don’t mess this up! For the love of Pete, cierc, PLAN OUT THE DATE! Don’t just wing it! Show some initiative! Go online and get some dating ideas. Take a shower, put on a touch of calogne, and shave well because you are going to be doing some necking. Take the lead, hold the doors for her (including the car door), offer your arm crossing the road, and help her with her coat. She’ll think a meteor hit your head and you’re a changed man. How about this - at your place, before you pick her up for dinner, set up a little decorators table (check Walmart or Target), get a nice table cloth for it, set up some nice table settings for the two of you, a candle in the middle, lights down low, and make a nice desert. You have all week to practice baking it. Serve with a little desert wine. When you arrive at your place after dinner, have her close her eyes while you light the candles and turn down the lights and surprise her. And after desert, cuddle a little on the couch and make your move. There...let us know how it goes. I'm pretty sure I got diabetes after reading this.
Author cieric Posted January 5, 2018 Author Posted January 5, 2018 Have the talk before sex. Sex should not be rushed but you already KNOW she wants the “talk”. She wants to be your official gf. I’ll say it again: DO NOT rush sex. Especially with a virgin. Be ready when shes ready, but let her tell you when. Make her your girlfriend now. Yeah thats the last thing i want to do. I don't want to rush anything or make her uncomfortable. It's hard to tell if she still wants to be with how distant she's acted the past few weeks. If she comes over like she said tomorrow, then I suppose she's still somewhat interested. Also don't know if I should ask before that the reason why she's been like that. Nerve-wracking.
Author cieric Posted January 5, 2018 Author Posted January 5, 2018 Sooo..basically she flaked. She said "cant. Mom said no." Her mom is overbearing as **** and has kept her home in the past but i just don't believe it this time. If thats really the case...she is not ****ing 12. I just responded with an eye roll emoji. Might ask if another day works but this just looks hopeless.
newyorker11356 Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Sooo..basically she flaked. She said "cant. Mom said no." Her mom is overbearing as **** and has kept her home in the past but i just don't believe it this time. If thats really the case...she is not ****ing 12. I just responded with an eye roll emoji. Might ask if another day works but this just looks hopeless. At this point, it doesn't matter. Even if she is telling the truth, do you really want to be with some who can't stand up to their parent?
Author cieric Posted January 6, 2018 Author Posted January 6, 2018 At this point, it doesn't matter. Even if she is telling the truth, do you really want to be with some who can't stand up to their parent? Apparently when she's 21 this summer, the curfews will be lifted when i was told this weeks ago. Also will be moved out by then to college. About to just straight up ask if she lost interest because it seems clear now. I don't know what else. This sucks bad.
dude360 Posted January 6, 2018 Posted January 6, 2018 Apparently when she's 21 this summer, the curfews will be lifted when i was told this weeks ago. Also will be moved out by then to college. About to just straight up ask if she lost interest because it seems clear now. I don't know what else. This sucks bad. It. Doesn't. Matter. The point is, she is not interested in you anymore. Just move on. Asking her if she has lost interest won't reignite it and would only extinguish any little interest she has in you. You will just come across as a nagging whine who can't read obvious signs. Move on, dude.
Author cieric Posted January 7, 2018 Author Posted January 7, 2018 It. Doesn't. Matter. The point is, she is not interested in you anymore. Just move on. Asking her if she has lost interest won't reignite it and would only extinguish any little interest she has in you. You will just come across as a nagging whine who can't read obvious signs. Move on, dude. Not contacting her again. Dating has been nothing but a waste of my time. Causes me extreme anxiety and depression. The planets have to align for mutual interest anyway.
Jdoublenn Posted January 7, 2018 Posted January 7, 2018 Not contacting her again. Dating has been nothing but a waste of my time. Causes me extreme anxiety and depression. The planets have to align for mutual interest anyway. Sounds like the story of my life. Good luck to us both.
Author cieric Posted January 7, 2018 Author Posted January 7, 2018 Sounds like the story of my life. Good luck to us both. That's why I like friends with benefits. But that's something that's also elusive for me but at least I don't feel like **** and have my heart strings ****ed with.
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