PerryK Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 So the latest issue today in a relationship, i cannot be bothered to go into past occurences... I dont have her on instagram, i don't let her see my social medias because she will spend every waking second going through every single one of my friends/followers and see if i've liked their stuff, if i have liked a photo even if it is 5 years before we met she will flip out and comment abuse on the girl or guys photo. I will then turn my phone on to 100 messages calling me a cheater and the evidence that shes sent round to all her friends who back her "yeah hes a cheater hes a cheater" would be a comment dated eg 2013 saying "looking good" despite dating this girl in 2017. So today i decided to let her follow me despite knowing that this relationship is already me walking on egg shells constantly. Within an hour she had gone through the last 4 photos (spread across a year because i never use social media) and took note of who had liked it and i get interrogated for each female that had liked my stuff. When i told her i have no idea, they can like my stuff i dont control it, i then have screaming in my face about "you are clearly cheating with these girls, why else would they like your stuff your clearly cheating you f-ing attention seeking cheat". For the record, i have never once cheated but this girl has cheated on every single relationship she ever had, thats how we met. How do you handle constant accusations. I am embarrased to tell anybody that i am with this girl because the relationship is constantly her belittling me to try and hurt me, spreading lies about what "ive done" to her friends so that they can sound back to her about how amazing she is, or me walking round on egg shells - i actually had to hide the fact that i got my barbers number so i can text him to arrange a haircut because when she found out she screamed about how i am gay and told my family, all of her friends and her work that i am bisexual (i am not) and she caught me cheating with my barber. I don't know what to actually do to make her treat me better...
smackie9 Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 You can't.....you need to breakup with her. She is way too immature to know how to act in a relationship. Brah get rid of her. 1
Art_Critic Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 yikes... dude.. you need to break up with her.. 1
MidwestUSA Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 Is this the same girl from nearly a year ago, or do you just have a knack for picking this type? Type being cray cray.
mortensorchid Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 You just answered your own question with her : You're not cheating but she is constantly accusing you of doing so because she did / does / will cheat. It's not brain surgery. Plus you said that the two of you met because she was cheating with you on someone else. You can hardly expect this person to be anything but should they leave the first person and be with you. GET OUT NOW while the getting is still good.
carhill Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 OP, more than likely she needs help, help you're ill-equipped and educated to provide. Hence, consider this effort sufficient and seek out one or more of the other billions of women on the planet. Learn from this and establish solid boundaries and stick to them.
snowboy91 Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 For the record, i have never once cheated but this girl has cheated on every single relationship she ever had, thats how we met. A: She's projecting her tendencies onto you. Because she does it, she finds ways to accuse you with doing it. B: If she does it with you, she'll do it to you. How do you handle constant accusations. I am embarrased to tell anybody that i am with this girl because the relationship is constantly her belittling me to try and hurt me, spreading lies about what "ive done" to her friends so that they can sound back to her about how amazing she is, or me walking round on egg shells - i actually had to hide the fact that i got my barbers number so i can text him to arrange a haircut because when she found out she screamed about how i am gay and told my family, all of her friends and her work that i am bisexual (i am not) and she caught me cheating with my barber. This doesn't sound like a relationship. This sounds like torture. What are you getting out of this? I don't know what to actually do to make her treat me better... You don't. Run.
LilySun Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 Wow buddy, she's gotta go. This is a type of abuse here, too controlling, too possessive and I don't like to use the word Psycho much, but this is Psycho at it's best. Not only is she stalking your every move but also disapproves of all of it, you have got to miserable. You need a new girlfriend and she needs a Psychiatrist, like yesterday. 1
preraph Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 (edited) I hope what I have to say opens your eyes. First of all, the reason she assumes you're cheating is because if she had opportunity, she cheats. People in general tend to believe that most people's minds work like theirs does, so they default to assuming you'd do what they would do in the same circumstance. She knows that if she had opportunity she would (and apparently has done) cheat. So she assumes that you would do the same. She can't wrap her head around another person's mindset. She will NEVER stop believing you are cheating because her mindset has been this way for a very long time. She has no ethics so she assumes neither do you because she can't conceive of it. On top of that, her insecurity probably started in childhood with just bad self-esteem, so she is not likely to even be able to change because that is a foundation that our brains kind of developed around and it's oftentimes hard-wired. What other things went into her suspicions probably include past cheaters, because we've all known one, but a normal person doesn't find a man, convince herself he's a cheater, and then fight to hang onto him. This is a battle you cannot win. She is always going to sabotage herself because she's got a big problem. She will destroy all her relationships in all likelihood. She will tell herself it's because they cheated, but it is more likely to be because she has no boundaries and ethics and standards and, therefore, doesn't think anyone else can either. You need to stop making yourself feel bad and find a healthy woman. She's a mess and she's not going to change. Don't sentence yourself to a life of this -- and do NOT have kids with this woman. They will be sentenced to a lifetime of fighting household. It's not fun and it changes who they are in a bad way, so don't do it. Edited December 30, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
Poutrew Posted December 31, 2017 Posted December 31, 2017 So the latest issue today in a relationship, i cannot be bothered to go into past occurences... For the record, i have never once cheated but this girl has cheated on every single relationship she ever had, thats how we met. So let me get this straight: You are the OM, and she cheated on her ex with you? And you were fully aware of this but did it anyway? Well, friend, it sounds like the karma train has pulled into your town and told you there is room for you only in the caboose. Perhaps her betrayed boyfriend was actually crying tears of pure joy that you had taken her off his hands, and you simply mistook them for tears of anguish? One of the reasons a girlfriend can get so nasty is that she is cheating on you and projecting her behavior onto you - and in your case, I'd be praying that were true, otherwise you are never going to be able to get rid of her...
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