He broke up with me over text......Thoughts?

[confidentchic]

Hey everyone,

I'm pretty new to this forum and would like anyone's opinion on this situation, or share any similar experiences. I had dated a guy for the past year and he recently broke up with me a month ago. The relationship was rocky in the past few months but I didn't see the breakup coming.

 

He broke up with me over text and when I called, he only spoke with me for a few minutes before hanging up. He then blocked my number and has still not reached out to me. It was so cold and made me question alot about him. I heard about the no contact rule and decided since I had no other option, I thought it might help if we had some distance.

 

The first three weeks were the hardest, which I had expected. I'm a few days away from 30 days of no contact and somehow feeling better. I'm looking forward to improving myself and focusing on my goals for the next year. I'm not expecting him to reach out to at least apologize or see how I'm doing now. Has anyone had a similar experience? Has an ex reached out after a month of no contact?

Edited December 30, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs, edit title for clarity and move to BBU

[central]

Has an ex reached out after a month of no contact?

 

Yes, a couple of times in my experience. It's best to ignore any such contact, even if it does contain an apology (unlikely, but if it does, it is as much closure as you could ever hope for).

 

I have stayed friends with many exes, but never with one who didn't exit gracefully, and never with any who didn't have many qualities to be worthy of friendship.

[preraph]

What you have to realize is that even if they do suddenly start acting civil some time after a breakup, you know what? It's usually because they have moved on and are happy again and involved with other women and so they see no harm in being friendly because they've lost whatever feelings they had for you.

 

So don't try to encourage that and don't hope for it. You broke up for a reason. The reason is you're not right for each other. He knows it even if you don't. Just move on and don't waste any more time. Get off all his social media and block him from yours and block him on your phone. Move on or else you'll waste another year waiting and when you're my age, that is the type of regret you'll have, wasted youth.

[Jimmy3858]

I think it’s a coward way to break up with someone. I’m going through the same thing right now, ex texted me and broke it off. The best thing to do is stay NC and try to stay busy! I’ve found this forum pretty helpful and it’s good to vent. Hoping that you heal quickly and get to move on!

[Gr8fuln2020]

What was the nature of the text? I'm surprised no one asked. Is it relevant? Could be...to him. But, I do have to say that he likely over-reacted. Yes, I have received and have been the person who texted long after a month. My situation is very different though.

[MJJean]

I've been contacted by an ex after a month. Hell, after years. I've never contacted an ex after a break up, though, because I see no point in talking to ex's. When a relationship ended for me, it ended.

[confidentchic]

Thanks for everyone's thoughts. I appreciate the advice. At this point, I'm trying to stay strong for myself and being positive about my future. I know that I gave my best in the relationship and now accepting that it just wasn't meant to happen. I can definitely feel the difference emotionally now compared to right after the breakup. The emotional pain isn't as bad and I realize that I just need to change my mindset for the better.

[Akashsingh]

Quite honestly. I am not someone who would advise permanent breakup to anyone. Why I say this is because relationships are hard work & there is every possibility that unless the root of the problem is fixed, you would have this problem with another person (I am not saying you are to blame, but both). I had a horrible breakup with my ex wife and I still tried to make things work with her. Maintain no contact and get on with your life. At some point he may come back, if he doesnt, no biggies. Find another guy.

 

However, do you want this person back? If so , when he approaches back:

 

Talk through what caused the past breakup.

What changes he has made on his side.

What changes you made on your side.

What is the mechanism to prevent future such breakup.

 

Almost all breakups happen due to communication gaps and misunderstandings. However, you need to build a healthy , trust based relationship with this person.