samsmith12 Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 So my girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. For the first 7/8 months everything was going great. Then in September we both started university and things started to go downhill. Whenever I want to go out clubbing with my flat mates, she would stay up and say “she couldn’t sleep” and I find that quite coincidental as she is never “able to sleep” whenever I go out. She has recently dropped out of uni because she felt lonely there (we went to different universities) and never made any friends so spending every night in her room by herself became too much for her so she left. So whenever I want to go out with my flatmates I feel guilty about going out because she is always down about having no friends and dropping out of uni. The hardest thing is that she has no friends. It feels like I’m the only person she sees. We live an hour away from each other so I can’t see her everyday. So whenever I’m not with her and I’m texting her she’s down and upset because she has no friends and upset about university etc... I feel like every time I go see friends, I don’t want to tell her because it’s just going to make her upset. She never seems to be happy unless she’s with me and it’s getting me stressed out because I’m constantly having to worry about making sure how she’s feeling. Not sure what I’m really asking for here, just some opinions on whether I’m being unreasonable. Is it something I just have to put up with? Or is she being too clingy and something needs to change?
smackie9 Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 Look up relationship codependency. Something does have to change and you have to tell her that. She needs to get some kind of counseling.
amaysngrace Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 No wonder you're stressed...being someone's whole source of joy is a very tall order and really it's quite unfair of her to put her misery first before your happiness That's not love
ThisisIt606 Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 That sounds exhausting, she's not your ill grandma she shouldn't be depending on your for every single thing. You can't be her everything, that's a tall order. Also it's very telling that she doesn't have any friends. Does she see a therapist? She may need one as it seems she's very unhappy and codependent. She definitely has some issues she needs to sort out. If you deeply care about and love her, you can try to help her work through this. However you may just want to cut your losses and free yourself of this ball and chain. You'll feel sad at first, but also free and happy.
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