ZayKayWill Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 Not sure exactly where to begin. So I've known this girl for about a good 7 years now...she added me on Facebook right before I left for my study abroad program, but when I got back we started talking and I could kinda tell she liked me. She was always so busy, though, and kind of still is...idk. She's currently a Nursing student and I know how hectic their schedules can be...I've met her in person maybe only like 5 times sadly in the 7 years I've known her...the first 2 times we kissed actually, but the times in between that I would see her would be incredibly sporadic. So I would see her once and then probably wouldn't see her again for another 6 months or so...sometimes even longer. I always kind of understood because again I know how busy Nursing students can be. Pretty sure she's going to be on her way to get her Masters soon... At this point I guess I'm just incredibly confused on where we stand exactly. She's admitted before that she likes me and well I'm pretty damn sure she knows I like her...we've kissed before, held hands, I've blatantly told her I like her...I just don't see how she wouldn't know how I feel about her. This girl is a weird one, honestly. She's had a few flings and boyfriends in the past, and whenever things didn't work well she usually would come to me to talk about it and stuff. And well obviously this bothered me because it seemed as if it was completely oblivious that I had feelings for her, so I asked her straight up.. Me: Um..is it not obvious that I have feelings for you? Her: Yes I know, but I really really like you and I would be devastated if something happened.... Yeah. That made absolutely no sense to me, either. A few months after that I had brought it up to her again because why not see where we stand and she brought up the same reasoning she brought up before. That's just so weird to me. Basically she's saying she likes me so much that she doesn't want to get with me because she doesn't think it's going to work out? Some damn twisted logic right there. That was about 2 years ago that happened. So now here I am trying to feel out exactly where we stand in this whole mess. We're still friends and talk semi regularly and I've made MANY attempts at trying to meet up with her and do something....we went to a Metallica concert back in August...it was a little graduation and birthday gift I got for her, but I haven't seen her since...she told me herself that she would have more time after school was done (back in August when we went to the concert) but yet she still hasn't made time to meet me or anything...we still message each other and sometimes she'll take days to respond back...I mean I do the same thing so I somewhat understand, but if it's someone I have a love interest in, generally I respond right away, or, at the very least not take days to respond. I guess it just seems to me like she just really isn't interested or just wants to be just friends with me and nothing more. Should I ask her where we stand? Or should I just leave it alone and naturally see what happens with me and her? I feel if things are meant to be, they'll happen. She knows that I want to spend time with her and I've made countless efforts but yet she doesn't seem to be making the same effort. I'm a bit scared to ask because I have a feeling I'm not gonna get the answer I want, hence why I feel maybe it's not necessary that I blatantly upfront ask her.
basil67 Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 I'm sorry. She sees you as a friend. Given that you've asked to meet her so many times and she wasn't available, it could not be more obvious that she's not into you that way. Don't ask her how she feels. It will just be awkward and embarrassing for both of you. 3
Author ZayKayWill Posted December 29, 2017 Author Posted December 29, 2017 I'm sorry. She sees you as a friend. Given that you've asked to meet her so many times and she wasn't available, it could not be more obvious that she's not into you that way. Don't ask her how she feels. It will just be awkward and embarrassing for both of you. *le sigh* Honestly I have a feeling she's just scared of commitment because of all her failed relationships, we just connect so well...but yeah. She would probably be putting in more effort if she was really that into me, huh? Oh well... :/
carhill Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 Me: Um..is it not obvious that I have feelings for you? Her: Yes I know, but I really really like you and I would be devastated if something happened.... And that is how men achieve orbital velocity
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 I get the sense that she does like too. However, sometimes two people can like each other but it never goes anywhere. Either they weren't prepared to push it further, or they just weren't that interested in the idea of being in a relationship with the each other. If you want more, then you have to pursue her and let her know you are interested in taking it further. You can't be passive about it, you need to be clear. If she is the romantic sort, sending her flowers might sweep her off her feet. Some women love romantic gestures. However, that certainly isn't the case for everyone. You would probably have a better idea about what she's like. Otherwise, just the direct approach, "I've been thinking about you, and I would like to take you out on a date to ... restaurant next Saturday night, would you like to go?" That may not be your style, but you know what I mean.. something that is assertive, clear about your intentions, and requires a direct answer that will tell you where you stand with her. If she makes excuses, take that as a no. I hope it works out for you. 1
LilySun Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 Nusing school was one of the most chaotic and high stress times of my life. I tried to have a LDR at the time and it was exhausting, I was just crabby when I did get to see my bf. That aside, I think she wants only friendship, she may like you as more but it's probably a time in her life that she doesn't feel is good for relationships. That and, from what she says appreciates you're friendship alot and IF it didn't work out, it would be painful for her. She doesn't want to jeopardize the friendship. You already had the conversation it sounds like.. If you ask again she might think you are beating a dead horse. In her mind this has been settled and not an issue. 1
road Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 And that is how men achieve orbital velocity As I started reading this post I reached the conclusion real fast that this girl is an Orbitor. Ego boost for her to be able to string along as many men simultaneously as she possibly can.
Yamaha Posted December 30, 2017 Posted December 30, 2017 So I've known this girl for about a good 7 years now.... If you had a chance with her it is long gone. 7 years means you are a pal, buddy, male friend. A woman does not talk to you about other men they are dating if they have an interest in dating you. Time to accept the friendship and find someone else to love. No one is that busy if they want more. Unrequited love is painful and the only way to move on is to find someone who loves you back, romantically, as well. Good luck 2
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