floatinglotus Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Hi Everyone, It has been a while since I've posted or even visited this board but I wanted to pop in to say THANK YOU for all the help you have given me. The reason I haven't logged in is because I am finally over what happened and I've been having a good time with my life having taken a turn for the better. Many of you I am sure did not agree with how I got over the situation with the MM but it was the best thing I could have done and I firmly believe had I not told his wife, I would still be sitting at home hoping to fade away. I got my self-respect and my power back. These affairs sap the very life out of you and they disempower even the strongest of people. I really hope those in need of help here can learn from my experience and know that they can get over their MM/MW. I've never felt such strong emotions before but looking back those emotions were made all the more powerful because of the added pain and turmoil. I never thought I'd be able to break free from the pain and psychologically I was at a very low point in my life. However, through effort and determination I am a much healthier, happier person and back to my old self (perhaps a little worldlier and wiser though!) All I feel now is sorry for my exMM now and hope he's learnt a valuable lesson from the whole pathetic episode. I have not heard a peep from him and do not know what's happened. I dont' really care but I just hope he'll never hurt another person like that again. So all in all, please believe me when I say that you can get over the pain and anger and yes, life can bring wonderful things again to you. If you need to get over it by telling the wife/husband - then so be it. It helped me and allowed me to move on. Good luck to you all and again, thank you. FL
newbby Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 absolutely no problem with what you did fl, in many ways i think it was the best route. i have just realised the absolute ONLY way to get over them, is in accepting that there is not a chance in h3ll anything could EVER happen between you EVER. i think you used the perfect way to ensure that you had no choice but to accept that. i am glad you are happy again.
brubaker2004 Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 i am new to this so i don't know your whole story. i am glad you have found peace in your life, but do you feel like it came at the expense of destroying an innocent woman's life, too? this is not a judgement, by any means, just wondering if you struggled with that idea at all before/after telling her?
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 I'm glad you found the closure you were looking for.
BoatingBabe Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 I wouldn't have a need to tell the wife....afterall, the wife is not at fault for HIS and YOUR affair. I think you told the wife to get the ultimate revenge on your MM, and that gave you closure....but whatever works, Affairs suck and we all deal with the ending differently.
Breathe Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 I'm glad you told the wife. Someone should before she ends up with Aids. Yes, you were wrong in sleeping with her husband, but now you've opened her eyes so she can see for herself the true pig he really is.
Author floatinglotus Posted August 24, 2005 Author Posted August 24, 2005 Originally posted by newbby absolutely no problem with what you did fl, in many ways i think it was the best route. i have just realised the absolute ONLY way to get over them, is in accepting that there is not a chance in h3ll anything could EVER happen between you EVER. i think you used the perfect way to ensure that you had no choice but to accept that. i am glad you are happy again. Thank you so much newbby. I wish you all the best. You sound like a really lovely woman and you definitely helped me in my hour of need. I am so very appreciative of that. Thank you. Take care, FL
Author floatinglotus Posted August 24, 2005 Author Posted August 24, 2005 Originally posted by brubaker2004 i am new to this so i don't know your whole story. i am glad you have found peace in your life, but do you feel like it came at the expense of destroying an innocent woman's life, too? this is not a judgement, by any means, just wondering if you struggled with that idea at all before/after telling her? Hi, I didn't struggle & in fact I was so much in pain that I felt numb as to how she must feel. I thought in time my conscience would come and grab me but it hasn't. All I felt was relief after telling her. I confided in friends and family and even my priest eventually and everyone was very supportive of me and of my decision in telling her - especially since I was the last one they would ever have thought would get themselves into a situation like this. They realised I had fallen in love with this man and believed him (I will never be so naive again). To be frank, if my husband was having an affair, I would want to know so I could then make a decision in regards to staying and making the best of a bad lot or by packing his bags and telling him to get lost. Anyway, it's over now (thank goodness) and I have moved on too. I hope he and his wife can do the same. Best, FL
Author floatinglotus Posted August 24, 2005 Author Posted August 24, 2005 Originally posted by Breathe I'm glad you told the wife. Someone should before she ends up with Aids. Yes, you were wrong in sleeping with her husband, but now you've opened her eyes so she can see for herself the true pig he really is. Hi Breathe, I don't believe he's a pig - I really do think he fell in love with me but realised he couldn't go ahead with it and ended up treating me pigishly (if that's a word!) when he wanted out. What I would call him is foolish and naive and I think he may have learnt a very valuable lesson from the entire ordeal. I think we've all learnt.
califlorgian Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 I am almost positive that most (not all) wives would want to know about the infidelty of their husband. I did the same thing. But my situation is worse. I keep getting sucked in by him. It's just hard for me to really comprehend what is going on. I believe the things he has told me. It feels like my situation is different. Though I am sure everyone feels that their situation is different. I always told myself I would never get involved with a married man. He's really messed me up. He has really messed his wife up as well. He just seems so sweet, caring, loving and truthful. I don't know what to do. I am glad you feel closure and are a lot happier now. It gives me hope.
newbby Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 Thank you so much newbby. I wish you all the best. You sound like a really lovely woman and you definitely helped me in my hour of need. I am so very appreciative of that. Thank you. Take care, FL thankyou!! and thats okay. i'm sure that it helps many of us to know that there is happiness after mm!!
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