JinSun Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for about a year and a half. Our relationship has been very tumultuous however I feel we are finally at a point where we are on the same page and things could actually work out between us. With all this said - I have a dilemma.... We broke up in July and ‘officially’ got back together at the end of November. During this time - we would see each other maybe once a month. Things would be ok for about a day or 2 and thn we would fight and go back to not talking to each other. Also during this time - I joined a dating site and went out on 1 date. The date was with a nice guy who as luck would have it went to high school with my boyfriend. So here’s the dilemma - the guy I went on a date with is a teacher at the local high school. My boyfriends daughter will be transferring to this high school. I have not told my boyfriend about the date. Is there a chance if they run into each other my date will come up as a topic of discussion? They haven’t seen each other in about 20 years.... I believe my options are as follows: 1. Do nothing. And hope they don’t run into each other and if they do - hope they don’t talk about me 2. Call the guy I went on the date with and ask him not to say anything 3. Tell my boyfriend about the date. I feel this is the worst option as it’s in the past and my boyfriend is not always the most level headed individual and he would not understand. And I hate not being 100% honest but I also don’t want to rock the boat. Please help.
RecentChange Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 The odds? I think given the highlighted facts below, the odds are slim to none that this will result in a lasting, healthy relationship/ My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for about a year and a half. Our relationship has been very tumultuous Things would be ok for about a day or 2 and thn we would fight and go back to not talking to each other. 3. Tell my boyfriend about the date. I feel this is the worst option as it’s in the past and my boyfriend is not always the most level headed individual and he would not understand. And I hate not being 100% honest but I also don’t want to rock the boat. In my personal opinion, and observation, "on again, off again" relationships never withstand the test of time. When two people do not have the communication skills to effectively work through conflicts - that is a fatal flaw. When two people get into disagreements so heated, that they in turn walk away from each other, that shows they lack compatibility, and the gumption to make things work. On one hand I say relationships should never be that hard. They shouldn't be full of conflict, they should flow along naturally if the pairing is right. On the other hand, when adversity is met, the couple needs to know how to come TOGETHER and put in the WORK to smooth things back out. If you really love someone, and are compatible with them, I just can't imagine turning your back and walking away. If a couple does this, let alone does this repeatedly, I feel that they are doomed.
preraph Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 If it was only one date, it's unlikely the guy will talk about it. Even if he does, would he use names? I doubt it. Or times? I doubt it. But really, decide if this one is a keeper or if it's not fun anymore because of the fighting and either be faithful or breakup so you can date. It's the right thing to do.
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