Fair Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 I talked to a guy from OLD tonight on the phone I've been avoiding answering his calls because I've been having issues lately with anxiety/panic attacks so finally I just told him so and that dating is something I need to put on the back burner for now. He responded by talking about all the things he went through in his life and about god and how he's healing himself and his own depression and anxiety and so on... said he wanted to help me. So I thought what the hell, and told him a few things about what I'm going through without going in to too much detail. He seemed like a nice guy who sincerely saw a chance to connect with and help me. I let him talk and I did find it helpful. And then... I was just about to say good night and hang up when he started talking about how we should maybe meet and started imagining how would it be... and out of the blue ... after what had been a two hour, perfectly normal conversation... he started trying to have phone sex with me. His excuse... he wanted me to feel better and turn my thoughts toward something besides my problems. When I laughed, he said... well, it's been a while since we've both been with someone and admitted to not being opposed to having phone sex. Now, inside I was getting a tad p***ed. He wasn't being gross and he stopped when I drew the line, which was right away. But I hung up both amused and disappointed. He wants to keep calling, and if we could have had a mutually supportive friendship to start with, beginning with phone calls as I'd thought the plan was supposed to be in the beginning, I would have been fine with it. But now.... I kind of feel like backing off. Maybe even telling him off. This is all men want. But of course, being inept at online dating and dating in general in this day and age with all the new rules, I started questioning whether I should be angry or not. Should I stop answering his calls if he calls anymore? Should I just assume he's a slime ball whose having phone sex with a lot of women... or should I let it go and let him keep calling? Is what he did odd? Indicative of a jerk? I tend to think so... or would you suppose he was just attracted to you and wanted to see if he could push it a little over the phone and not be too concerned about it? I swear, with OLD you never know what you're going to encounter.... It's so hard to know how to respond to so many different things. I'm both mad and wanting to laugh, but wanting to cry, too.
elaine567 Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 He found a "victim" who was vulnerable, and then he pushed your boundaries to get "sex". 4
GemmaUK Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 Not all men are like this - but yeah, you found a slime ball. Better it became apparent sooner rather than later though. Block him. 3
BaileyB Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 Better you know this sooner than later. I once had a man in a similar situation lay his "theory about women" on me... According to him, women fall into one of two categories. 1. Divorced. Bitter. Often burdened with children. 2. Single. Never married but often very set in their ways. He wanted to know which category I fell into... Again, it was good that he shared his true self with me in the phone call because it saved me from a rather long and depressing meeting over drinks. 2
elaine567 Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 I once had a man in a similar situation lay his "theory about women" on me... According to him, women fall into one of two categories. 1. Divorced. Bitter. Often burdened with children. 2. Single. Never married but often very set in their ways. He sounds like a keeper, what is wrong with you?
BaileyB Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 He sounds like a keeper, what is wrong with you? Not for me. I added him to my list of Top 10 bad dates... Even though, we didn't actually make it out for drinks. You meet all kinds on OLD.
smackie9 Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 IMO you should never reveal too much personal information about yourself to a stranger, especially someone you have never met. Everyone, no matter who you are is vulnerable when it come to online interaction. It's just another way for predators, pervs and jerks to seek out victims. It's unfortunate women of all ages and walks of life are exposed to these sick individuals. I totally understand your frustration, you never asked to be treated like a piece of meat. Next time, get an air horn or a whistle, and give them a blast, and promptly hang up/block/delete. 1
rightondude Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 he just got horny and lost all control of what had been working well for him prior to then. Happens. He may have also been steadily drinking while talking to you and by the end had drunk courage to turn it up a notch.
Author Fair Posted December 29, 2017 Author Posted December 29, 2017 This morning I deleted my whole profile. Enough is enough. No more online dating for me. 1
Imajerk17 Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 (edited) I talked to a guy from OLD tonight on the phone I've been avoiding answering his calls because I've been having issues lately with anxiety/panic attacks so finally I just told him so and that dating is something I need to put on the back burner for now. He responded by talking about all the things he went through in his life and about god and how he's healing himself and his own depression and anxiety and so on... said he wanted to help me. So I thought what the hell, and told him a few things about what I'm going through without going in to too much detail. He seemed like a nice guy who sincerely saw a chance to connect with and help me. I let him talk and I did find it helpful. And then... I was just about to say good night and hang up when he started talking about how we should maybe meet and started imagining how would it be... and out of the blue ... after what had been a two hour, perfectly normal conversation... he started trying to have phone sex with me. His excuse... he wanted me to feel better and turn my thoughts toward something besides my problems. When I laughed, he said... well, it's been a while since we've both been with someone and admitted to not being opposed to having phone sex. Now, inside I was getting a tad p***ed. He wasn't being gross and he stopped when I drew the line, which was right away. But I hung up both amused and disappointed. He wants to keep calling, and if we could have had a mutually supportive friendship to start with, beginning with phone calls as I'd thought the plan was supposed to be in the beginning, I would have been fine with it. But now.... I kind of feel like backing off. Maybe even telling him off. This is all men want. But of course, being inept at online dating and dating in general in this day and age with all the new rules, I started questioning whether I should be angry or not. Should I stop answering his calls if he calls anymore? Should I just assume he's a slime ball whose having phone sex with a lot of women... or should I let it go and let him keep calling? Is what he did odd? Indicative of a jerk? I tend to think so... or would you suppose he was just attracted to you and wanted to see if he could push it a little over the phone and not be too concerned about it? I swear, with OLD you never know what you're going to encounter.... It's so hard to know how to respond to so many different things. I'm both mad and wanting to laugh, but wanting to cry, too. I hate to say this, but I figured something like this was going to happen by the time I read the paragraph I bolded. A male who wants to "help" a woman he hadn't even met with her problems by being her therapist/life-coach is more than likely a *ahem*...Nice Guy. I mean "Nice Guy" in the worst possible way--see he isn't really nice, he is actually manipulative. He has a bait-n-switch going on. He figures that if he plays the role of her friend/therapist and becomes her shoulder to cry on and she sees how "nice" he is, he will get to sleep with her. I am glad to see you deleted your OLD profile. I think that your first instinct to get your own stuff more or less handled before you try dating is a good one. Leading with your problems is hardly ever a good idea, especially when it comes to strangers. Otherwise, as you saw yourself, you will attract guys who will try to exploit that by offering to "help you with your stuff". Edited December 29, 2017 by Imajerk17 2
browzer Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 Often burdened with children. Children are a burden? Who knew.
BaileyB Posted December 29, 2017 Posted December 29, 2017 Children are a burden? Who knew. His theory. Not mine. 1
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