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splitting bill with single parent

primer

By primer
in Dating

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

Posted
Posted

Assuming you are a guy I would say you do better paying the whole meal lol. It's just the way our culture is set up. But if you're at the point you're going out to eat with all the kids I think you should be in an established relationship, and unless very conventional, already sharing expenses. I don't think parents should bring their kids on casual dates at the beginning JMO

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carhill Established Member

carhill

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In a word? Hotness. I'm betting that at least compared to the guy in this scenario, miss 4 kids is pretty hot.

Yeah, I caught one with bad timing (married) but oh yeah, the minute she sent out the 'come hither' vibe, those three kids were no inhibition to the deluge of married and single males knocking down tall buildings in their zeal to get to her. I think I mentioned in other threads/posts how she'd routinely stop the shop just walking out of the office. Heh, that's power :D

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grays Established Member

grays

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I don't even know how that's a date. I wouldnt want my kids there. When it comes time for my kids to be spending time with a guy Im dating, it wont be dinners out with them. It'll be more relaxed stuff where kids and date arent awkwardly trying to get to know each other.

 

He should only pay if he invited the kids.

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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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This is such an awkward situation.

 

He probably never even considered that the kids would ever come along.

 

Honestly, it really just depends on how much money the guy has. If he's well off and can afford it, then I guess go ahead and pay, BUT I will say that I think it's kind of tacky that a person with 4 kids invites them all along without addressing the financial aspect.

 

Maybe she was planning on paying for them, but failed to mention that. It would have helped.

 

I'm not even sure I'd be dating if I had 4 kids....

 

He's going to have to be honest and ask. If she gets upset then you two are not compatible and it's better to find that out sooner rather than later.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

Posted
Posted
I don't even know how that's a date. I wouldnt want my kids there. When it comes time for my kids to be spending time with a guy Im dating, it wont be dinners out with them. It'll be more relaxed stuff where kids and date arent awkwardly trying to get to know each other.

 

Right? The last thing I want is my kids on a date with me!

 

I remember meeting up with one guy for the first time and he brought his 3 yo daughter. It was horrible.

 

Unless, of course, she has friendzoned him and he doesn't know it?

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted

The absolute last thing I would want are my kids on a date.

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newheart Established Member

newheart

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They have been dating a couple of months now.

 

 

Sometimes friend will ask single parent out for dinner and she wants to bring all four kids with. He hesitates because it can get expensive.

 

 

Now single parent asked friend if he was interested in spending New Year's at a waterpark with her and kids. Friend is wondering how costs can be split for that.

 

 

Some things he never considered.

 

I am a single parent of 3 (teenage-young adults). IF our relationship was in a place to invite someone along (and it would not be in the early stages of dating!), since I am extending the invitation, I would be footing the bill.

 

Even with the dinner date - he invited her, then she asks if she can bring her kids? Does she have an expectation that he would pay? I'd be reconsidering if that were the case ...

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primer Established Member

primer

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These are the same kids that were telling their teachers and everybody else that Mom has a new boyfriend and his name is "JoeSchmo". This was after maybe one date.

 

 

Does that mean the mother is telling the kids she has a new boyfriend? (I wondered if my friend was withholding information from me; such as, he spent the night.) How would the kids know otherwise?

 

 

Now when my friend asks the mother out to dinner she bats her eyelashes and asks if she can bring the kids with.

JuneL Established Member

JuneL

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As one previous poster mentioned, why don't you ask your friend to post his question here? It's very hard for posters to give answers when you're not sure about the exact situation.

 

OP: Are you that teacher?

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Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

Posted
Posted
They have been dating a couple of months now.

 

 

Sometimes friend will ask single parent out for dinner and she wants to bring all four kids with. He hesitates because it can get expensive.

 

 

Now single parent asked friend if he was interested in spending New Year's at a waterpark with her and kids. Friend is wondering how costs can be split for that.

 

 

Some things he never considered.

 

"They" or "you"? It IS annoying OP when people phrase questions about their own dating lives in terms of the hypothetical. If this is about yourself (which I suspect it is) just say so!

 

Bringing your kids along when it was only you whom was invited is presumptuous. If you bring your kids along, then you should pay.

 

Meanwhile I agree with the others that having kids go on your dates after only a few months is just a bad idea.

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primer Established Member

primer

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My friend is not computer literate. He works in a factory (nothing wrong with that) and does not even have internet connection at home. I am not that teacher but we live in a small town where everybody talks and everybody knows everybody.

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primer Established Member

primer

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"They" or "you"? It IS annoying OP when people phrase questions about their own dating lives in terms of the hypothetical. If this is about yourself (which I suspect it is) just say so!

 

Bringing your kids along when it was only you whom was invited is presumptuous. If you bring your kids along, then you should pay.

 

Meanwhile I agree with the others that having kids go on your dates after only a few months is just a bad idea.

 

 

 

No, no, no. This is not me. For one, I am female and I have no children.

Imajerk17 Established Member

Imajerk17

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No, no, no. This is not me. For one, I am female and I have no children.

 

OK thanks for clarifying.

 

If your friend is the teacher who wants to bring her kids, then please tell her to stop this and get a babysitter. Or at the very least pay for the date herself. Expecting a guy she has only been seeing a couple of months to pick up the tab for her 4 kids....Frankly she sounds like a moocher. Harsh but that was my gut feeling.

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primer Established Member

primer

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I am guessing my friend is in deeper than he knows. He is a divorced guy that lives in my neighborhood. Too young for me. :-)

 

 

From life experience, everybody is probably different when it comes to introducing kids into a relationship. Some are okay with sleepovers right away. Not everybody does the right thing - whatever that may be.

 

 

As for myself, I prefer no kids or grown kids since I don't have any myself.

Els Established Member

Els

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She brings her children regularly on dates with a man she's only known for TWO MONTHS??? :eek:

 

Yeah, I think cost of dates aren't the biggest issue here.

gaius Established Member

gaius

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If you're going to get into a serious relationship with a mother you need to be financially able to take her and her kids out once in a while. You can arrange times where you split the costs since it can get expensive but to never extend that kind of love and courtesy, even for just a meal and movie, to her children is ugly and vile.

 

If it's such an issue for him then maybe he needs to find a woman who's better for his balance sheet than this one. Because her kids are part of the package.

cabbageman Member

cabbageman

Posted
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Question for a friend -

If you go out to eat (a date) with a single parent that has four minor children, and the children come with, should you:

 

 

A) pay for whole bill?

 

 

B) split the bill 50/50?

 

 

C) pay for your meal only?

 

 

The same question if you go on a vacation with the children. Does the single parent pay for their children's expenses?

 

 

1) It's not a date if the kids are with you. The F. I'd be pissed, get a sitter!

 

2) **** no. I never ever pay for drinks or meals when I go out with a woman. Why the hell would I pay for her kids too? Starve bastards!

Timshel Established Member

Timshel

Posted
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My friend is not computer literate. He works in a factory (nothing wrong with that) and does not even have internet connection at home. I am not that teacher but we live in a small town where everybody talks and everybody knows everybody.

 

I would say in the circumstance presented by the OP...but not the actual man involved, something is amiss.

That perhaps single mom is pushing things too quickly along.

However, LS can't know if the man involved is concerned or not.

 

My answer to the OP would be red flag on including children this early.

I would also ask what value primer, do you have in asking the question? What investment do you have in your neighbor's dating life?

No_Go Established Member

No_Go

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Why people assumed it is a single mother? Could be a single father.

 

In any case - if I was going out with a single father of 4, I’d not expect to pay for his kids unless I invite them with us on a family outing . That’s not a date. Same for vacations - if i specifically invite them - yeah, I’d pay for them, otherwise - he either pays for his kids, or just do NOT take them with us.

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