luvflower Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 (edited) Hello all. I'd like feedback as to why I even fell for it... and should I be concerned for safety. Last year this time I met a man. We were both out getting coffee alone in Christmas evening. Lines were extremely long and slow, as it was the only place open. He had his coffee and food before me and was already eating as I stood in line to order. As he finished about 10 minutes of me being there, he passed by me smiled , said hello and said my smile was stunning... blah blah. So I'm in there waiting for my coffee and a sandwich and talking to family friends etc. My line, ordering and wait time was almost an hour after he left out of the cafe. Once I pickup my order and walk out after being in here for an hour, this same guy from inside is waiting in the parking lot in his car. I didn't see him until I get inside me car and start pulling out from my parking space. He said hello again and this time small talk but straight fwd. Could we chat sometime... was I single,etc. We ended going out a few weeks later. Something was wierd when meeting him. We dated for a little while though , then we spaced out and he started asking me to send certain images of myself to him that I refused to do. He brought it up. I mentioned that if he didn't like it and wanted to play games I most likely would stop contacting him &leave him alone. He brushed it off saying I couldn't leave him alone completely because he knows where I work and everybody I work with because he checked out my company on our website, which I never told him about. We were somewhat cool after that faded and we went out a few more times ... yeah. (I feel like I'm answering my own thread question now as I type more) So recently I had a setback and asked him if he knew of any people who needed services so that I could bring in extra money to pay my rent. Instead of referring clients to me he said KEEP YOUR MONEY AND COME STAY WITH ME. I asked him if he was joking or what. He said you can save up until you get back in your feet, come stay with me. I ended up packing my stuff almost ready to move and when I ask him what time he would be home to let me bring some things into his place, he doesn't respond . I asked him 2 days just to make sure i showed some concern as well because this wasn't like him. He has not communicated with me since ... its 2 weeks later. Yep I'm stupid for even considering living with him I guess and should I have seen him as CRAZY after he waited an hour for me that night? And then bringing up knowing who all my coworkers are...oh boi. Edited December 27, 2017 by luvflower
BaileyB Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 Nope, the point that I would have been out is when he asked for certain images. That, and the threat that he knew where I worked would have sent me running... 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 There are so many alarming things in your post, not even counting the fact that you waited for over an hour for coffee instead of just making your own. This guy sounds like some kind of sex trafficker to be honest. How old are you?? 3
Author luvflower Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 There are so many alarming things in your post, not even counting the fact that you waited for over an hour for coffee instead of just making your own. This guy sounds like some kind of sex trafficker to be honest. How old are you?? Im over 30 and live alone. I waited an hour for coffee and a meal. I had been on the road driving from out of town with little food at home and no energy to cook. I feel so stupid because something told me some things about him were just NOT right or "healthy". Yet I ignored that inner voice, common sense. Once when I was seeing someone else, he texted me while I was inside of my THEN date's house and said "who are you with". Not sure if he put a tracking device on my vehicle or maybe it was just coincidence... then about 2weeks ago after not even responding to me askin him when to move in, I stand in line to pay for things in a store. While I'm in line he comes walking in staring at me and walks over to hug me as if it's just a chance encounter. I play it cool but inside I'm like he knows where I am too much "coincidentally". .. Strange
Author luvflower Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 And another huge question in my mind is, why does he keep showing up and contacting me after periods of time and NC. Like now I'm assuming that I will never talk to him or hear from him again. We've had a few other times like this and he keeps initiating contact. We're not even having intercourse and haven't in almost 6+ months. We have been in contact though. WHY WOULDNT HE JUST STOP contacting me when he's not getting anything from me...
BaileyB Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 The questions you should be asking are... Why do you keep communicating with him? Why were you willing to have sex and move in with a man that you barely know and don't trust? Who knows why he does what he does. And, who cares? You have no control over what he does... you control what YOU do. He can keep contacting you all he wants... YOU decide whether you will continue to have a relationship with this man. If his behavior is creepy, block and ignore him! 3
Author luvflower Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 The questions you should be asking are... Why do you keep communicating with him? Why were you willing to have sex and move in with a man that you barely know and don't trust? Who knows why he does what he does. And, who cares? You have no control over what he does... you control what YOU do. He can keep contacting you all he wants... YOU decide whether you will continue to have a relationship with this man. If his behavior is creepy, block and ignore him! I have no excuse except for the fact that I'm working on myself. I do have some issues... My bigger question right now though is if he keeps popping up PHYSICALLY in public places it may mean that he is stalking. But because the places are public I can't prove it. Plus he knows where I live which is an urban area so my backyard is technically public... he's even shown up in an unrecognizable car before and he didn't realize I saw him.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 If you think you're being stalked, perhaps you should talk to a police officer. It does sound odd and scary.
Author luvflower Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 Thanks. I'll be cautious as I move about. Honestly police won't do anything unless there's something concrete to present to them. The guy I'm speaking about seems to be too crafty to give me anything that can be traced back to him. I will stay alert as much as I can. 1
MidwestUSA Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 If law enforcement can't do anything now, at least make sure friends and family have as much information about this guy as you can possibly give them. Name, description (pic if you have one), address, phone #, employer, make and model of car. Everything. You have a bonafide stalker, no question about it. Also, write all that info down, and keep it in a prominent place in your home, and on your computer (home and work, if you have one). I was creeped out just reading this. Do you own a gun?
Author luvflower Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 If law enforcement can't do anything now, at least make sure friends and family have as much information about this guy as you can possibly give them. Name, description (pic if you have one), address, phone #, employer, make and model of car. Everything. You have a bonafide stalker, no question about it. Also, write all that info down, and keep it in a prominent place in your home, and on your computer (home and work, if you have one). I was creeped out just reading this. Do you own a gun? Thanks. Yeah, I have the info. and 2 people in my circle know details about him and this situation. Some of my people are long distance, which makes some of this challenging. Nevertheless, I do make note of things... I wouldn't necessarily broadcast to LS if I owned weapons or what types, but I'm no slouch. I may sound naive with regard to this thread but other than this situation this isn't typical for me and people don't usually f*** with me like he has. But definitely wrong place, time and definitely wrong person he is. 2
MidwestUSA Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 Thanks. Yeah, I have the info. and 2 people in my circle know details about him and this situation. Some of my people are long distance, which makes some of this challenging. Nevertheless, I do make note of things... I wouldn't necessarily broadcast to LS if I owned weapons or what types, but I'm no slouch. I may sound naive with regard to this thread but other than this situation this isn't typical for me and people don't usually f*** with me like he has. But definitely wrong place, time and definitely wrong person he is. Okay, good to know. The dude is scaring me, and I'm just a peep on the internet! Good luck!
anika99 Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 I think this guy comes on hard and fast because it works for him. You were probably never the only one he was seeing. He thought offering to let you live with him rent free would be a grand gesture that would make you see him as a good guy. He never expected you to say yes. Up until this point you had been sort of keeping him at arms length so he never thought you would actually agree to move in with him. It was never a sincere offer and when he realized you thought it was real and you were planning to come he freaked out and ghosted you. He does sound strange but I bet you never hear from him again because he's a guy who doesn't want to be held to his word or be expected to back up his promises. Then again, if he thinks you're a pushover he may come looking for sex again after he thinks enough time has gone by for you to be over his rude disappearing act. I think this guy is mostly just a bunch of talk and hot air.
Author luvflower Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 Okay, good to know. The dude is scaring me, and I'm just a peep on the internet! Good luck! Thanks so much. I'll try keeping ya posted. I'm moving and he knows the state , but not the exact city and location. So hopefully moving will alleviate most or all or my concerns.
Author luvflower Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 I think this guy comes on hard and fast because it works for him. You were probably never the only one he was seeing. He thought offering to let you live with him rent free would be a grand gesture that would make you see him as a good guy. He never expected you to say yes. Up until this point you had been sort of keeping him at arms length so he never thought you would actually agree to move in with him. It was never a sincere offer and when he realized you thought it was real and you were planning to come he freaked out and ghosted you. He does sound strange but I bet you never hear from him again because he's a guy who doesn't want to be held to his word or be expected to back up his promises. Then again, if he thinks you're a pushover he may come looking for sex again after he thinks enough time has gone by for you to be over his rude disappearing act. I think this guy is mostly just a bunch of talk and hot air. In this situation I hope you're right and I think you are. Even if it sucks due to how it initially affected me.
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