samjamx478 Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 My ex friends with benefits really liked me, and I really liked him but we got into a bad argument. He wanted to be with me officially and never spent enough time with me due to his job and school so I felt neglected, and we stopped talking. Its been a year and he's started staring at me all the time, and following me everywhere I went, and he would do it purposely. I know he feels like I should apologize to him due to some things I've said to him. But he keeps staring and following me like everyday and I want him back. Is he too prideful to talk to me? He’s been doing this for months now almost a year. His friend also has told him in front of me to come talk to me and he puts his head down. The only reason I am not so confident about it is because its been a year,and I know there is a possibility of somebody else being in his life, but every time I do see him with a female friend or near girls he gets very defensive, and tells them to go away, and curses at them in front of me.
healing light Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 This is just weird and the situation has red flags (cursing at friends, following you around after an extended time). But it sounds like neither one of you are over the other and his being busy is what led to the demise of your relationship. So--I say make a decision and bite the bullet by telling him that you want to reconcile or asking him to stop following your trail. 2
Author samjamx478 Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 Thank you for your reply! I totally agree, I really thought this was straight up weird. But I thought about it and figured maybe he just wants me to approach him first. The thing is I am very shy, but I'm just going to have to get over my fear of rejection lol. 1
Popsicle Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 Like in many other situations, he's scared to approach you. He's scared of rejection. How do you overcome that? Beats me.
act00 Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 Do you really want to be with a guy that follows you around, stares at a distance, stalkerish? It's been a year. Do you really want to be with a guy that is so cruel to his female friends (possible they are interested in him) by shooing them away and cussing at them? The guy seems unstable. 2
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 You have had sex with this guy but now you two are too chicken to talk to each other? I get his reluctance: you already rejected him once. He offered you everything he had but it wasn't enough for you. You said that you felt neglected. Between school & work he was probably giving you all the time he had. There are only so many hours in a day. If you want him to stop following you then you will have to take action. Talk to him. Ask him to stop. If you think you want to involved with him again, let him know that but be more sensitive to his time pressures. It's not like he can realistically give up school or work for you. 2
she'stheone Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 My ex friends with benefits really liked me, and I really liked him but we got into a bad argument. He wanted to be with me officially and never spent enough time with me due to his job and school so I felt neglected, and we stopped talking. Its been a year and he's started staring at me all the time, and following me everywhere I went, and he would do it purposely. I know he feels like I should apologize to him due to some things I've said to him. But he keeps staring and following me like everyday and I want him back. Is he too prideful to talk to me? He’s been doing this for months now almost a year. His friend also has told him in front of me to come talk to me and he puts his head down. The only reason I am not so confident about it is because its been a year,and I know there is a possibility of somebody else being in his life, but every time I do see him with a female friend or near girls he gets very defensive, and tells them to go away, and curses at them in front of me. Hi samjamx, Relationships (past and/or present) can be hard. The most important part of any relationship is good, honest, open communication. While I agree with act00's question asking if this is the kind of guy you want, this is a good opportunity to work on your communication skills. Be direct and upfront and talk to him. Stop assuming what he wants and simply ask him. If you can't have open communication at this point how will you ever be able to have a long term, committed relationship full of love and mutual respect? Again, use this as an opportunity to work on your communication skills, if things work out, great. If not, still great (because you left your comfort zone and learned something that can help you in the future). Sending you much love and light 1
Author samjamx478 Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 Do you really want to be with a guy that follows you around, stares at a distance, stalkerish? It's been a year. Do you really want to be with a guy that is so cruel to his female friends (possible they are interested in him) by shooing them away and cussing at them? The guy seems unstable. It's because I'm also jealous I'm assuming he did that, because in our argument I made him feel bad about buying his female friend something to drink. They were out with other people, and I didn't realize that he had grew up with these people until after the fact
Author samjamx478 Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 Hi samjamx, Relationships (past and/or present) can be hard. The most important part of any relationship is good, honest, open communication. While I agree with act00's question asking if this is the kind of guy you want, this is a good opportunity to work on your communication skills. Be direct and upfront and talk to him. Stop assuming what he wants and simply ask him. If you can't have open communication at this point how will you ever be able to have a long term, committed relationship full of love and mutual respect? Again, use this as an opportunity to work on your communication skills, if things work out, great. If not, still great (because you left your comfort zone and learned something that can help you in the future). Sending you much love and light Yes, during this time I definitely have been overthinking it, I realize my mistake and believe me I have learned to be more communicative
she'stheone Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 Yes, during this time I definitely have been overthinking it, I realize my mistake and believe me I have learned to be more communicative No sad face! I applaud you for learning from your mistakes. It's more than most people ever do. Congratulations on your growth. Love and light 1
Author samjamx478 Posted December 27, 2017 Author Posted December 27, 2017 No sad face! I applaud you for learning from your mistakes. It's more than most people ever do. Congratulations on your growth. Love and light Thank you for your reply and your kindess! Much appreciated 1
jjgitties Posted December 27, 2017 Posted December 27, 2017 he's been following you and staring at you for over a year? does he have a life? whatever happened to his job and his school? sounds like a red flag. run ... run.. run.. whats gonna happen if you two do get into a relationship and maybe break up? 1
Author samjamx478 Posted December 28, 2017 Author Posted December 28, 2017 he's been following you and staring at you for over a year? does he have a life? whatever happened to his job and his school? sounds like a red flag. run ... run.. run.. whats gonna happen if you two do get into a relationship and maybe break up? :lmao: Yea thats what I said whatever happened to work I know him well enough to say I would never expect something crazy from him but you never know now a days!! He recently was hospitalized due to some injury in his leg, Idk all of the details but I went to the hospital and I spoke to his aunt and I am hoping he will come around, but I have yet to see him. Sometimes I'm down and I feel like if he wanted to reach out he would've but I changed my number, and his friends don't have it, and he has me blocked on social media. Go figure!
Recommended Posts