The never ending wave

[spunkkyash]

I have known my boyfriend for 8 years. We dated when we were 18 for a brief moment but I ended things because I was young and not looking for anything serious. He not long after that went and got married.

 

They since have separated and we have been together a year now. They are still legally married and that has been a bother to me. He took her to court for custody of his kids and has been winning the fight thus far. But not long after the children were placed in our custody he quit his job without having another one lined up and that left me in a tough spot as I have children of my own from a previous relationship.

 

I was now the only one working and supporting 5 children and 2 adults for a little over 2 months. He got another job, and not a very good one, and didn't help much with bills then due to the fact that he wasn't making enough to really contribute after putting gas in his car and getting diapers for his son. He quickly became tired of that job and put in a two week notice without having anything lined up.

 

On his last day at that job he went to a temp agency to get a job at the last possible moment. He has had this new job for all of a week and is already talking about leaving it for a "better job". It's always about having something better. Despite the inconsistencies in his work, his ex which is technically still his current wife has caused many problems for us. As a result of these problems we have decided that it be best he move out of the house and stay with him mother for a few months until we can straighten out the issues. But I am really not sure if we can actually fix the damage that has been done.

 

He loves me and I love him but sometimes loving someone is not enough. I literally would pay my last penny to bills and be stuck wondering how i will have gas to get to work while he complains of being broke but goes and buys a pack of smokes. It's caused tension between us in the past. I'm a mother of 3 of my own children and of course if every last penny has to go to keeping a roof over their head than so be it. But I just felt that I shouldn't have had to stress like that like I did.

 

Because when I bring these things to his attention he answer is always it will work itself out, we will figure it out. But it typically ends up just being me that does it all while he offers to give me a few bucks. But it's not just about the money. He's moving out so we can have some space but still be together because he doesn't want to lose me. But I don't know if I should stay with him or leave him.

 

I tried to break things off once with him but he begged me to give him a chance for him to move out and us still see each other but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. What am I supposed to do?

Edited December 26, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Akashsingh]

I have known my boyfriend for 8 years. We dated when we were 18 for a brief moment but I ended things because I was young and not looking for anything serious. He not long after that went and got married.

 

They since have separated and we have been together a year now. They are still legally married and that has been a bother to me. He took her to court for custody of his kids and has been winning the fight thus far. But not long after the children were placed in our custody he quit his job without having another one lined up and that left me in a tough spot as I have children of my own from a previous relationship.

 

I was now the only one working and supporting 5 children and 2 adults for a little over 2 months. He got another job, and not a very good one, and didn't help much with bills then due to the fact that he wasn't making enough to really contribute after putting gas in his car and getting diapers for his son. He quickly became tired of that job and put in a two week notice without having anything lined up.

 

On his last day at that job he went to a temp agency to get a job at the last possible moment. He has had this new job for all of a week and is already talking about leaving it for a "better job". It's always about having something better. Despite the inconsistencies in his work, his ex which is technically still his current wife has caused many problems for us. As a result of these problems we have decided that it be best he move out of the house and stay with him mother for a few months until we can straighten out the issues. But I am really not sure if we can actually fix the damage that has been done.

 

He loves me and I love him but sometimes loving someone is not enough. I literally would pay my last penny to bills and be stuck wondering how i will have gas to get to work while he complains of being broke but goes and buys a pack of smokes. It's caused tension between us in the past. I'm a mother of 3 of my own children and of course if every last penny has to go to keeping a roof over their head than so be it. But I just felt that I shouldn't have had to stress like that like I did.

 

Because when I bring these things to his attention he answer is always it will work itself out, we will figure it out. But it typically ends up just being me that does it all while he offers to give me a few bucks. But it's not just about the money. He's moving out so we can have some space but still be together because he doesn't want to lose me. But I don't know if I should stay with him or leave him.

 

I tried to break things off once with him but he begged me to give him a chance for him to move out and us still see each other but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. What am I supposed to do?

 

Support him. He is emotionally distraught. You have expectations of him, but you also love him for who he is not who you want him to be. If I had a low paying job that cut my salary from a prior one, I would quit too.