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Posted
Good for you OP. I think it's a step in right direction for now.

 

So you didn't tell him about EA? He claims he knew? What kind of an EA was it? Did you both announce your feelings for each other or was it assumed and understood by you and other person?

 

I didn't tell him anything, he just said he had noticed I was pulling away etc. in the last few months. I did not admit or deny anything.

 

I am now going to describe the EA as a married man looking for no strings attached fun on the side.

Posted

lhgirl, I think it is an amazing feat to recognize our bad behavior and go even further to understand The Why behind how we are acting and its impact(s) and how to STOP doing those things and make an effort to be better. I agree with jjgitties and think it is great that you had this conversation with your husband, but I also agree with S2B that it was an opportunity for you to come totally clean with him and put ALL of your cards on the table.

 

With that said, coming clean and admitting that we have done wrong is scary as heck! I can understand not wanting to be the "bad guy" -it is NOT great. Right now, you know, and he may suspect. Your husband will know for certain that you have been a villain, and disclosure is likely to explode your life, relationship, etc. None of us can know what is best for you and your marriage. For now, you have made the decision not to disclose your affair. Many believe that relationships can rise from the ruins of an affair if people love each other and are willing to work to reconcile. Many people who do this will end up experiencing the best relationship of their lives... others aren't so lucky...

 

Ultimately, as you know, it's your call to make.

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