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Christmas... and No Contact

CantTakeMySmile

By CantTakeMySmile
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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CantTakeMySmile Established Member

CantTakeMySmile

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So, how did everyone do with NC during the holiday?

 

 

I did not contact. But lord knows, I wanted to.

 

 

I feel awful... but who knows how I would have felt if I contacted.

 

 

I just say to myself all the time " just keep moving...."

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heartbrokenlady Established Member

heartbrokenlady

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I sent an angry, ranting email.

 

I've already told him he needs to block me. If he hasn't, oh well.

 

Not really coping but hopefully will improve once Xmas is over.

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CantTakeMySmile Established Member

CantTakeMySmile

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Did it make you feel better?

heartbrokenlady Established Member

heartbrokenlady

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Did it make you feel better?

 

It did a bit. I've spent a long time rationalising our breakup and trying to be fair. And I think if I can be angry, I might be accepting it's completely over. No need for niceness in the hope he may come back.

1fish2fish Established Member

1fish2fish

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He sent an odd email a week ago, wishing me a Merry Christmas at the end. I didn't reply.

 

Nothing from him yesterday, nor did I reach out. I am so happy I didn't, not that I was tempted to or anything...I'm feeling freer and so much better about myself than I have in a long time.

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CantTakeMySmile Established Member

CantTakeMySmile

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It did a bit. I've spent a long time rationalising our breakup and trying to be fair. And I think if I can be angry, I might be accepting it's completely over. No need for niceness in the hope he may come back.

 

 

 

I think anger would be a better place than sadness. I, too, have rationalized this for a long time. Had you been in NC long?

heartbrokenlady Established Member

heartbrokenlady

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I think anger would be a better place than sadness. I, too, have rationalized this for a long time. Had you been in NC long?

 

 

No. In and out. 2 weeks no contact, then a message or email. He's blocked on social media.

 

He wants to stay friends. Obviously I can't.

 

Anger is a stage of healing I think???

Gr8fuln2020 Established Member

Gr8fuln2020

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My ex and I sent gifts to one another's children, so NC was not an option. It would have been inappropriate. It, fortunately or unfortunately, also opened up some wounds as the brief 'thank you' and children's smiles pics were a little too much for her.

 

I don't regret it, though my heart continues to be heavy...

sdraw108 Established Member

sdraw108

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No contact, but I did get a text from her parents wishing me Merry Christmas and saying they were upset that she isn't at home for Christmas for the first time in her life (she left me for someone in another country). Her parents quite liked me and are disappointed by her behaviour.

 

It's been exactly a week of LC for me (blocked on messengers, but there have been a couple of brief emails dealing with practical issues).

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CantTakeMySmile Established Member

CantTakeMySmile

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No contact, but I did get a text from her parents wishing me Merry Christmas and saying they were upset that she isn't at home for Christmas for the first time in her life (she left me for someone in another country). Her parents quite liked me and are disappointed by her behaviour.

 

It's been exactly a week of LC for me (blocked on messengers, but there have been a couple of brief emails dealing with practical issues).

 

 

 

I also received texts from her family. That didn't seem to bother me though.

Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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First holidays/birthdays are the hardest. Important thing is to think big picture and push through, focusing instead on the people and things that you do have in your life.

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HumanMachine Established Member

HumanMachine

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Without a doubt the three hardest days since I started NC. I’ve had a very boring Christmas period being stuck at home, with my friends all being busy with their girlfriends/families. I wanted to message her telling her how I can’t stop thinking about her and how I miss her.. i forced myself to think about the countless times she treated me badly and thankfully did not make contact.

 

:(

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Hatelove_1 Member

Hatelove_1

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Spent all day thinking and dreaming of him. Can't wait till the holidays are over. Hoping next year will be better!

 

I really do HATE him though so NC is not hard.

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bluecastle Established Member

bluecastle

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My ex texted me "Merry Christmas" last night. It was a jolt, as we hadn't spoken in a month and after some very difficult weeks of "what ifs" I was really getting comfortable with the idea that never speaking again (or at least for a few years) was the healthiest path.

 

To reply or not to reply?

 

I mulled it over for a bit, and opted to send a simple "Merry merry to you and yours" while knowing nothing was going to change and being fine with that. At the end of the day, despite all the pain we caused each other, I do wish her well and didn't want to go into the New Year with weird energy.

 

It was in ways nice to know I was on her mind, but the little jolt I felt reminded me that I feel better with no real contact. I suspect it's the last we'll "speak" for a good while.

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Downanddown Established Member

Downanddown

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I was kind of hoping to hear from my step kids. It kinda hurt that I didn't but I know i was a good role model to them so I keep that close to my heart.

 

Could of cared less to hear from her though

Heartbrokenandhurt Established Member

Heartbrokenandhurt

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Tumbleweed for me. He is blocked on Social Media but i'd imagine he still has my number. :(

Isle Member

Isle

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Two months of NC. She sent me a message through social media, saying that she hopes I'm having a good xmas. I'm not. I didn't reply. I could have said so much, but it would have only fallen on deaf ears.

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Darkchan Established Member

Darkchan

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I must say it was neither good or bad. I did better than expected, still not the best Christmas ever. The day after makes me feel a little more under the weather as I was with family and now I am alone again. No text from my ex and I didn't send one either. Makes me feel somewhat sad that he didn't text me at all, but same time I didn't expect him too either. I think new years is gonna be a hell, as we usually celebrated Christmas separately with our own families rather than together. New years tho we were always together...

Fever of love Established Member

Fever of love

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So, how did everyone do with NC during the holiday?

 

 

I did not contact. But lord knows, I wanted to.

 

 

I feel awful... but who knows how I would have felt if I contacted.

 

 

I just say to myself all the time " just keep moving...."

 

Mine came to my door unexpectedly on the 20th. First I'd saw her for 4 months. One month of strict NC. She said she was worried about me, and thought about me all the time.

 

I said Christmas wasn't really happening for me, and she said it wasn't for her either. She said she had thought about bringing me round a duck, that she usually cooked, but I said I was cooking the duck myself. Coincidentally, I was having new oven delivered when she visited, which was a strange coincidence really- it was her old cooker that was being replaced, and for her to coincidentally turn up as it was going out the door seemed a strange synchronicity, considering she hasn't been here for months.

 

It was actually a nice visit, but I'll be dam*ned if it didn't give me a small hope that she would visit on X-mas day! I stupidly got her a small gift, 'Just in case.' :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Did she visit? Did she h*ll! No txt, no message, no call.

 

My breakup was 6 months ago now, and to be frank I'm glad that amount of time has passed before this awful season. Bad as I feel right now, I'm kind of OK and functioning- if I was at the 3 month stage, this would have been unbearable. I suppose I must be getting better- with great regret and sadness, because I do still miss her very much.

MarkTorr Member

MarkTorr

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I was a mess, ended up calling, it was first one part in 17 years, she didnt answer

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CantTakeMySmile Established Member

CantTakeMySmile

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I was a mess, ended up calling, it was first one part in 17 years, she didnt answer

 

How long have you been NC?

Gr8fuln2020 Established Member

Gr8fuln2020

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Mine came to my door unexpectedly on the 20th. First I'd saw her for 4 months. One month of strict NC. She said she was worried about me, and thought about me all the time.

 

I said Christmas wasn't really happening for me, and she said it wasn't for her either. She said she had thought about bringing me round a duck, that she usually cooked, but I said I was cooking the duck myself. Coincidentally, I was having new oven delivered when she visited, which was a strange coincidence really- it was her old cooker that was being replaced, and for her to coincidentally turn up as it was going out the door seemed a strange synchronicity, considering she hasn't been here for months.

 

It was actually a nice visit, but I'll be dam*ned if it didn't give me a small hope that she would visit on X-mas day! I stupidly got her a small gift, 'Just in case.' :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Did she visit? Did she h*ll! No txt, no message, no call.

 

My breakup was 6 months ago now, and to be frank I'm glad that amount of time has passed before this awful season. Bad as I feel right now, I'm kind of OK and functioning- if I was at the 3 month stage, this would have been unbearable. I suppose I must be getting better- with great regret and sadness, because I do still miss her very much.

 

Wow, very interesting story. :) She came by b/c she was alone too. Wanted to find an excuse to see how you were doing. Who knows, right?

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flooded Established Member

flooded

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My ex texted me during the eight o'clock hour "Merry Christmas. I hope you're having a perfect morning." :roll:

 

I was on day four of NC at that point and am almost through day five - a record for me since he broke up with me on 24 November.

 

What's helped is recognizing how selfish he was/is in regards to me and that he said things last week that made it VERY clear that we are never, never, never getting back together. :)

 

I'm on a roll. Great job to all here who are staying strong - may the force be with you.

  • Like 1
MarkTorr Member

MarkTorr

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How long have you been NC?

 

It is hard because she has things, but I also want to talk to her

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CantTakeMySmile Established Member

CantTakeMySmile

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It is hard because she has things, but I also want to talk to her

 

 

 

I can definitely understand wanting to talk to her. I feel the same way. I am on day 15... long way to go... how about you?

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