GF on vacation for over a month, will she cheat on me?

[cbar1]

Hi, everyone, this is my first post here and I hope i can get some advice.

 

I have a girlfriend which I've met in college, we are both 18 and we have been dating for 4 months. I am her first BF and she is my second GF. Everything seems almost perfect and we love each other. Currently she is on vacation in Brazil because of a volunteer program and she is there alone, not with any friends nor family, she is staying at a host family's home. What worries me is that she will be spending New Year and her birthday (Jan 3rd) on a trip around many cities in Brazil, going from club to club and stuff like that. (She is travelling with 4 friends she met in the program: 2 girls and 2 boys).

 

Although I have trusted her when she was with me, I'm starting to feel very insecure about this, because of several reasons:

 

1) I've seen many ppl cheat on their partners during these holidays, when they spend them separately. In fact, last year during a New Year party , my ex gf cheated on me.

2) She likes to party and likes to drink ocassionally (most of the time not until getting drunk, but until getting the "party mood"). She is a very outgoing person and she is very kind and jokes with everybody. (Some guys might confuse this with flirting)

3) She gets horny when she drinks. (She told me that in her last birthday, when she was single, she ended up kissing with 4 dudes in 1 night, because she was very drunk). Since we started our relationship, she has only gotten drunk when she was with me. (Idk what will happen if she gets drunk when she is not with me and since her birthday is coming, this is likely going to happen)

4) She will spending the nights on clubs and all of her 4 friends she is travelling with, are single, which means they might hit some other ppl on the clubs and idk what she will do, (hit on one guy or whatever)

5) As i don't know any of the ppl she is travelling with, if she cheats, it's very hard for me to find out.

 

On the other side of the coin, here are some reasons of why I have trusted her and should trust her:

 

1) She said "I love you" first, and she is always very romantic with me. She gifts me drawings of us she makes, for our month anniversaries.

2) So far, she has been very sincere and honest with me. We even talked about our "past" once (that's when she told me about the 4 dudes on her birthday) and she was very honest with every word she said.

3) There was this dude who she had dated once and kissed, and was talking to her during the first month of our relationship. She told me about it before I asked, and she even showed me the texts (she allowed me to check all the conversation) where she refused to go out with him.

4) She has been 1 week in Brazil, and so far she has told me where she has went to party and with who, without me asking for that info.

5) we are planning on travelling together in february and we agreed to lose our virginity on that trip

6) We talked about this (that it worries me and everything) and she promised she wouldnt never cheat on me as she says there is no other like me and she loves me

 

So what do you guys think? Will she cheat on me? I've heard of ppl claiming to love their partners but ended up cheating in a party because of the party mood and stuff. (My ex gf is a good example) Any advice on how to trust her better? or what to say when she comes back to know if she cheated on me or not?

 

Thanks in advance

[browzer]

She's young, immature, she likes to party, she's far away from you with a bunch of single friends going to clubs and they're sure to meet up with single guys. She gets horny when she drinks, you will be out of sight and out of mind, you two haven't been together long enough to build a secure bond. The odds are extremely high that she'll be riding a Brazilian dude before the trip is over.

 

Tough situation sorry.

[d0nnivain]

I think cheaters are going to cheat on you whether they are on vacation or right there. If she's loyal person, she won't cheat. If she's not, well . . . better you should learn now.

 

I think you are right to pay attention to the situation . . . horny, flirty, drunks do tend to get in trouble but drinking & flirting do not always equal cheating. Some people can draw the lines in the right places.

[ZayKayWill]

Either you trust her or you don't. Sorry, this isn't a personal attack on you but I'm getting really ****ing tired of people telling their partner that they can't do this or can't do that because, "You just shouldn't put yourself in a situation where you will cheat."

 

Grow. The. ****. Up. Either you trust your partner or you don't. If you're really so ****ing insecure that you can't trust them to have fun without you EVEN on a vacation setting then you shouldn't be in a relationship at all. It's not fair for your partner to have to give into your emotional abuse (That's right, I said it, it's ****ing abuse) because you don't trust that they have their **** under control. I know PLENTY of people in relationships that hang out and get drunk with opposite gender friends, me included, and nothing has ever happened. There's a difference between being human and being an animal. And last I checked we are most definitely humans who are capable of making intelligent decisions.

 

So if you think she's not trustworthy then that's fine. Stop wasting both your time and hers and break up. Or, you can do the mature thing and trust her to go on this vacation anyway despite the fact that there very well may be a risk that something happens. Either way, if someone wants to cheat on you, they're going to do it no matter how much you control them.

[Poutrew]

Pay special attention to what she says and how she says it when she texts / communicates with you . Although she wont come out and tell you she is having sex with other men, the state of her mind when she talks to you will be conflicted and this will come out in a disruption in how she talks. You are not listening for what she says, but in how she says it. You will recognize when something seems off. That will be your clue.

 

If worst comes to worst, you will also have 4 months to get over her and find someone else..

[Violetstar]

I cheated while drunk before. If she really loves you I know she will not sleep with anyone. However, If they are dancing together, It is slightly possible she could kiss someone.

I was dancing once, And I was very drunk and this random guy started kissing me but I pulled away because he was gross. Another time, I was horny and I kissed back.

Don't expect the worst. Don't expect she's going to Cheat so you go on and cheat on her first. I have done that before too.

 

Ask her to talk to you before the club and after because you want to make sure that she's okay. Sound like a concerned boyfriend and not a jealous boyfriend. You guys are very new in the relationship and you guys are young, So she probably isn't taking it too seriously just yet.

AndLet's say someone makes a move on her and she kisses him and that's it? Is it the end of the world? Would you break up with her and swear off all women?

 

It would be one drunken mistake, And I am 100% Positive it will not go further than that if it even does. She loves you and you love her and you have to trust her.

 

But I will tell you this, She will be dancing with guys. You can't go to a club and just dance by yourself. I have tried that before and the group always ends up splitting up when guys come around.

 

I have gone to clubs and I have been faithful, As long as I was very happy in the relationship And in love.

Don't worry so much and just make sure you keep consistent contact with her

[LilySun]

I guarantee there will be at least some flirting. But all young girls enjoy that kind of attention weather in a relationship or not. It makes them feel good. But that could be the only extent of it. Even if she kissed someone, she will still be coming back home to you and missing you. It's not as though she would try to carry out a relationship with a person that far away.

And if she is a virgin it's doubtful that she would make such a leap with anyone there.

I would just encourage her to have a good time and check in with her to make sure she is safe, etc. But don't be too overbearing with that.

[Shanex]

Donnivain is right. A cheater is gonna cheat whether on vacation or at home, if given the occasion.

 

I would be worried too, that a 18 yo girl who's a clubber and tend to get horny gone for a month will be faithful.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Cbar1, both of you are 18 year olds. This is the time when guys and gals sow their wild oats if they are so inclined. It will not really be a case of your GF cheating on you as much as spreading her wings and experiencing what is out there. You should be doing the same. You do not have to have sex with any one but don't hold back on enjoying yourself. Attend all the parties that you are invited to, visit clubs for youngsters and have a good time and do everything a young lad your age would do barring having sex with someone.

 

When your GF returns see how she behaves and if she makes eye contact with you or not. That would be one thing that should indicate whether she is feeling guilty about something or not. I do not know what kind of a person you are, whether you enjoy the same things as your GF or you are more introverted. However, whatever it may be, do not take this relationship too seriously. Both of you have a lot of growing up to do and in ten years time both of you may have morphed into very different personalities. Just treat this relationship as a learning experience and if, after a while you find that it does not sit well with you, just move on. You may have to go through a few such relationships before you know you have found your partner for life. Warm wishes.