I was The "Other Guy" ... I Want to Vomit!

[hoppy28]

I feel 1" tall ... I'm not seeking "approval" for what I did at all. I now know I shouldn't have ever put myself into this situation. I'm writing because I just need to get this off my chest.

 

About a month and half ago, I went to a party out of the blue. I arrived and within minutes had locked eyes with a woman. My heart stopped for a second. I took a breath. I knew that instant, something was going to happen. I've never had that feeling before in my 28 years.

 

She introduced herself. Shaking her hand gave me quivers. She was simply one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She wasn't the typical "model" look. It was something else about her ... maybe her presence.

 

After meeting her, I put a couple of things together. I knew she had a boyfriend of 6 years. At that point, I knew I couldn't pursue anything with her. I just did what I usually do when I go out, and that's to just be myself.

 

Throughout the night, I noticed her just getting closer to me. I couldn't resist her advances. I was almost swept off my feet by this woman. The night was long, and ended up with everyone a little tipsy. She and I ended up back at our mutual friend's house. I went to lay down and she followed.

 

That's where things started to get a little hot. We had what could have been the most sensual kiss session I have ever had. We didn't want it to end, but she and I both knew it couldn't go any further. This "session" may have lasted for an hour or so. With many words of her "wanting me and finding me irresistable."

 

I eventually walked her to her car. She wanted to give me her number. I took it. I couldn't sleep that night. I couldn't even explain what I was feeling. I didn't even think about the fact she had a boyfriend.

 

A couple of days go by. She was asking why I hadn't called. I do call her. She tells me that she has broken it off with her boyfriend. I didn't know what to say or think. She assured me I had nothing to do with it. She also assured me that she wasn't that type of girl. She never did anything like this until we met. I believed her.

 

We had talks about taking it very slowly. She didn't want anyhting to cloud a potential relationship. We started talking a little more, eventually almost every day. It lead to us seeing each other every weekend. She even brought me lunch at work one weekday. I felt a part of my life was complete. I thought I found that someone.

 

We did a couple of weeks of dating and she asked me to meet her parents. We got close fast. Each time we saw each other, we got closer sexually. Before I knew it, a movie at my place lead to her asking, "Let's go upstairs."

 

I'm not one to sleep with just any girl. I always do it with some kind of emotion. With this girl there was a lot of emotion. I couldn't say no. I had every reason to believe she was doing it for all the same reasons. It was amazing. Better than I could ever remember. Another couple weeks go by. We assured each other that this was an OK speed for each other. We were talking every few days, seeing each other on the weekends.

 

Our last conversation ended with her saying, "I'll call you Thursday."

 

Two weeks went by, with one left message from me on her cell phone. I never got a call. I learned that she was with someone else. I felt like puking when I heard this. I couldn't believe I was so fooled.

 

I happened to bump into her last week (Thursday.)

 

I didn't attack her with, "Where have you been," or, "Why havent you called?" I said, "Hello! How are you?" She got defensive right away. She told me, "She was very busy at work the last few weeks," and also that, "a lot of stuff has happened."

 

I knew in the back of my mind there was someone else. She just wasn't going to admit it. She couldn't even look me in the eye. After seeing her, I felt like I wanted to puke again. Could this be the same person I've just spent the last month with?

 

I kept that conversation short by saying, "We don't need to be talking about this here. I would like for you to call me though." She said she would. In my heart, I knew she wouldn't.

 

I put my hand in the fire and I got burned. I come from a family that was broken up by cheating. I still sit here wondering why I was so naive. I can't believe I allowed myself to see past the fact that this relationship was started on nothing but distrust. How could I ever trust someone to not do to me, what they did to their ex.? I did. I was blinded by beauty, convinced she was different. I was strung along until "something better" came along.

 

I'm a fool.

[zoey15]

Wow! I'm sorry to hear this. Sorry you're feeling so down, but just like I have to remind myself over and over again cause I'm screwing around with a cheater....what makes you think you're so special? Once a cheater always a cheater.

 

She cheated on her man of six years!? Come on, you got played but hopefully you can learn and heal from this.

 

She will cheat on her new guy, and I know that doesn't make you feel better but just know not to fall for another woman who is in a relationship unless you have every intention of just using her for the only reason she's using you.

[Neptune]

I don`t really see where this is a big deal. But, it is really a change of heart on her part. She was not married. Long time relationships often don`t really end until someone else comes along. I don`t see how you could have perceived she would be this way. Just be glad for the fantasy fulfilled and learn from the dose of reality afterwards.

[Curt]

From my perspective, there are definitely two matters here.

 

You made the mistake of falling for somebody that was not willing or able to respect the bounds of her own relationship, which you knew about at the time. You should have probably told her that you were extremely attracted to her, but that because she was taken, she was out of bounds.

 

Truth of the matter is, however, that MANY guys would have done exactly the same as you did. It was she who had the greater "duty of care" to her relationship, not you. You took advantage of the situation that was available to you, and that's not good form, but it was she, herself, that has more to answer for here.

 

She was more than willing to make out with you. She was with him, yet she was satisfied to "willfully ignore" that fact for the time she was with you. Perhaps the alcohol was a contributing factor.

 

Nonetheless, all this is academic, given that she then did the same thing to you with another guy. Don't expect any different from her. She will likely do this again. Call it a lesson learned, and move on. Careful of this in future.

 

Curt