Signs the person you are dating is ashamed of you or she is being authentic

December 25, 2017

just been reading articlew about signs about how a partner is ashamed of you and kinda fitted in with me and my ex.

iv read other threads on here about people saying that maybe a girl doeent like posting on facebook etc etc. and one girl on here said shed only do it when shes married.

people give advice on here which is great but do the women on here really understand or are they just as manipulative. example: women here give advice on what to do and always defend/ make excuse for a girl.

i see women here advice men to talk to a woman about why she doesnt want to put things on social media etc. iv read all the opinions about social media on here.

what if a guy does have a conversation with the girl and she says shes not into social media and only posts things until she is marri3d, and you accept it. then u find out shes met a new guy and does all that.

so the fac3book debate goes on....

December 25, 2017

I don't think social media should be the judge of a relationship. I hardly ever post stuff, but when it comes to relationships, I doubt I'll be posting anything until the relationship is serious. Serious enough to change the status from "single" to "in a relationship." I don't think it has to do with being ashamed of your current partner, but more about not wanting to put something out there that is a bit uncertain. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until we got out of that three month window of miscarriage...having to explain the loss is painful. I simply don't advertise or make it a big deal until there's some certainty. I won't post about a potential new job or promotion beforehand, but will do so afterwards. Certainly it can be and issue of being ashamed, but if your partner is ashamed of you, you'll see this through his/her actions in real life as well. He'll not want to take you out, not want to bring you around friends/family, ignore you in public, criticize your clothes, hair...you will be shamed in person.

If you erase social media from the equation, you're still met with the same circumstances where this girl (guy) may behave differently with the new guy than with you, and maybe it has to do with being ashamed, but maybe it has to do with the fact that she just wasn't into you or not enough to plop you into her personal world right away, and it didn't work out.

I'm not a heavy user of social media, so I don't think my not posting pictures of a guy I'm seeing would really raise any red flags. For someone who is all over social media, it may be more of a "sign." I don't know.

December 25, 2017

I don't think social media should be the judge of a relationship. I hardly ever post stuff, but when it comes to relationships, I doubt I'll be posting anything until the relationship is serious. Serious enough to change the status from "single" to "in a relationship." I don't think it has to do with being ashamed of your current partner, but more about not wanting to put something out there that is a bit uncertain. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until we got out of that three month window of miscarriage...having to explain the loss is painful. I simply don't advertise or make it a big deal until there's some certainty. I won't post about a potential new job or promotion beforehand, but will do so afterwards. Certainly it can be and issue of being ashamed, but if your partner is ashamed of you, you'll see this through his/her actions in real life as well. He'll not want to take you out, not want to bring you around friends/family, ignore you in public, criticize your clothes, hair...you will be shamed in person.

If you erase social media from the equation, you're still met with the same circumstances where this girl (guy) may behave differently with the new guy than with you, and maybe it has to do with being ashamed, but maybe it has to do with the fact that she just wasn't into you or not enough to plop you into her personal world right away, and it didn't work out.

I'm not a heavy user of social media, so I don't think my not posting pictures of a guy I'm seeing would really raise any red flags. For someone who is all over social media, it may be more of a "sign." I don't know.

i undertand your post. surely a girl would know after say 6 months or so to know if she would pop you in her world?!that to me is wrong and manipulative.

also surely its pure evil if someone says " i only post on fscebook if its serious" and give their reasons like you did. Then meet a new guy after 4 weeks put pictures up but when you were with them for 6 months it still wasnt serious. where is the logic?!

December 25, 2017

i undertand your post. surely a girl would know after say 6 months or so to know if she would pop you in her world?!that to me is wrong and manipulative.

also surely its pure evil if someone says " i only post on fscebook if its serious" and give their reasons like you did. Then meet a new guy after 4 weeks put pictures up but when you were with them for 6 months it still wasnt serious. where is the logic?!

Simple. She's more sure of this guy than she was of you.

December 25, 2017

Simple. She's more sure of this guy than she was of you.

i get that lol. but how does one avoid this in the future and why are they not honest with you?!

also she is sure of a guy after 4 weeks than me after 6 months. i mean the logic is stupid. he could say chang3 his mind and she would look lik4 an idiot putting things on social media after 4 weeks! esp thats what she was saying. " i wont do anything until im sure its going somewhere" its so illogical its close to being stupid

December 25, 2017

i get that lol. but how does one avoid this in the future and why are they not honest with you?!
also she is sure of a guy after 4 weeks than me after 6 months. i mean the logic is stupid. he could say chang3 his mind and she would look lik4 an idiot putting things on social media after 4 weeks! esp thats what she was saying. " i wont do anything until im sure its going somewhere" its so illogical its close to being stupid

How was she dishonest with you?

December 25, 2017

How was she dishonest with you?

by saying " i dont put anything on fb unless im going to marry them. i dont like social media. i dont want people to know about my personal life etc"

December 25, 2017

i get that lol. but how does one avoid this in the future and why are they not honest with you?!
also she is sure of a guy after 4 weeks than me after 6 months. i mean the logic is stupid. he could say chang3 his mind and she would look lik4 an idiot putting things on social media after 4 weeks! esp thats what she was saying. " i wont do anything until im sure its going somewhere" its so illogical its close to being stupid

You avoid it by dropping her asap when you realize something is fishy. In the case of your ex you had 2 good weeks with her and then it was followed by 6 really bad months where she humiliated you and used you. It was YOUR responsability to drop her right there at the beginning of her bad behavior and not date her for half a year.

We told you many, many and many times, you need to drop women when they don't show interest and respect.

December 25, 2017

also surely its pure evil if someone says " i only post on fscebook if its serious" and give their reasons like you did. Then meet a new guy after 4 weeks put pictures up but when you were with them for 6 months it still wasnt serious. where is the logic?!

Hardly the definition of "pure evil" surely?

People are allowed to change their minds, circumstances may change, their opinion of social media may change, they maybe want to follow what their friends do, maybe she found out it is better to state she is "in a relationship" to stop unwanted male attention, maybe her new guy had her plastered all over his SM pages and she felt she had to do the same.

Maybe she feels this IS a serious relationship, sometimes you can just tell pretty quickly.

Who really knows? only she knows.

NOT everything she does is about you, you are her ex.

Stop looking at her SM.

Move on.

December 25, 2017

Hardly the definition of "pure evil" surely?

People are allowed to change their minds, circumstances may change, their opinion of social media may change, they maybe want to follow what their friends do, maybe she found out it is better to state she is "in a relationship" to stop unwanted male attention, maybe her new guy had her plastered all over his SM pages and she felt she had to do the same.
Maybe she feels this IS a serious relationship, sometimes you can just tell pretty quickly.
Who really knows? only she knows.

NOT everything she does is about you, you are her ex.
Stop looking at her SM.
Move on.

well i hope if you are in a relationship one day and the guy tells you the same thing and does the same thing to you like it happened to me you will be understanding and understand his reasons like u have done with me. its always different when it happens to you. doubt anyone here would b3 so cool about it and not hurt

December 25, 2017

Hardly the definition of "pure evil" surely?

People are allowed to change their minds, circumstances may change, their opinion of social media may change, they maybe want to follow what their friends do, maybe she found out it is better to state she is "in a relationship" to stop unwanted male attention, maybe her new guy had her plastered all over his SM pages and she felt she had to do the same.
Maybe she feels this IS a serious relationship, sometimes you can just tell pretty quickly.
Who really knows? only she knows.

NOT everything she does is about you, you are her ex.
Stop looking at her SM.
Move on.

you seem to have the answer to everything. what about she neevr wanted a pic with me but has loads with her new person after a few weeks?! explain that. how is that not cruell!! she knew what she was doing. you gonna say " oh maybe now she likes pics and changed her mind?" cmon im not 5. i have a phd dont insult me

December 25, 2017

you seem to have the answer to everything. what about she neevr wanted a pic with me but has loads with her new person after a few weeks?! explain that. how is that not cruell!! she knew what she was doing. you gonna say " oh maybe now she likes pics and changed her mind?" cmon im not 5. i have a phd dont insult me

What do you mean by this? You think she posted pics of her new man to hurt you on purpose?

December 25, 2017

i undertand your post. surely a girl would know after say 6 months or so to know if she would pop you in her world?!that to me is wrong and manipulative.

also surely its pure evil if someone says " i only post on fscebook if its serious" and give their reasons like you did. Then meet a new guy after 4 weeks put pictures up but when you were with them for 6 months it still wasnt serious. where is the logic?!

I don't see any manipulation here. I would think six months into a relationship, if it's serious, and not just someone you have managed to see once or twice a month over that six-month time frame, you should be at a point that you're blending your friends and personal life more...meet the fam, and include those pictures on FB...it really does depend on the seriousness of the relationship, how often you're together, etc.

You're obviously bitter that this girl wasn't into you, didn't post on FB and social media, then turns around and does it with this other dude. I still don't necessarily see that she was ashamed of you, but clearly she wasn't that into you or wasn't really sure about the direction of your relationship...and the end result is you broke up. It wasn't going to work out.

This will happen with or without social media. Maybe she was embarrassed and ashamed by you...she would be criticizing your dress, your style, your mannerisms in person. It's also possible she was not really sure if you were someone she could be with long-term...she dated you awhile, figuring it out, and ultimately determined you're not a good fit. I'm sorry about that. It hurts. It's a fact of life. It's not manipulation. People are different, and if someone doesn't want to smather their dating life all over FB, accept it. If it's an issue for you, move on to someone who has the same views and values.

I do agree that if someone is secretive about your *serious* relationship and refuses post pictures, this is a red flag, but you will see these red flags in real life as well. There was a post recently about a woman who was dating a man for 18 months, yet she had not met his children yet...they were talking about moving in together and blending families...but she hadn't even met his children. Issues abound with that relationship. She was right to sever it.

Fred, the reality is, you weren't "it" but this other guy seems to be. I'm sorry about that. If posting on social media is your litmus test to how serious a woman is about you, then work it. Dump and run if she refuses to post about you on social media and find someone more suitable and compatible. Accept the hurt that comes with your decision.

December 25, 2017

I don't see any manipulation here. I would think six months into a relationship, if it's serious, and not just someone you have managed to see once or twice a month over that six-month time frame, you should be at a point that you're blending your friends and personal life more...meet the fam, and include those pictures on FB...it really does depend on the seriousness of the relationship, how often you're together, etc.

You're obviously bitter that this girl wasn't into you, didn't post on FB and social media, then turns around and does it with this other dude. I still don't necessarily see that she was ashamed of you, but clearly she wasn't that into you or wasn't really sure about the direction of your relationship...and the end result is you broke up. It wasn't going to work out.

This will happen with or without social media. Maybe she was embarrassed and ashamed by you...she would be criticizing your dress, your style, your mannerisms in person. It's also possible she was not really sure if you were someone she could be with long-term...she dated you awhile, figuring it out, and ultimately determined you're not a good fit. I'm sorry about that. It hurts. It's a fact of life. It's not manipulation. People are different, and if someone doesn't want to smather their dating life all over FB, accept it. If it's an issue for you, move on to someone who has the same views and values.

I do agree that if someone is secretive about your *serious* relationship and refuses post pictures, this is a red flag, but you will see these red flags in real life as well. There was a post recently about a woman who was dating a man for 18 months, yet she had not met his children yet...they were talking about moving in together and blending families...but she hadn't even met his children. Issues abound with that relationship. She was right to sever it.

Fred, the reality is, you weren't "it" but this other guy seems to be. I'm sorry about that. If posting on social media is your litmus test to how serious a woman is about you, then work it. Dump and run if she refuses to post about you on social media and find someone more suitable and compatible. Accept the hurt that comes with your decision.

of course ud be bitter and hurt.

but im annoy3d cos of the lies! why tell me she doesnt like to do sometbing when she does?! why tell me sh3 dont lik3 hand holding etc when she does? thats manipulation.

and no i dont care about social media. u guys are missing th3 point. i never really post on it. i once post3d on her facebook wall and sh3 didnt like it. m

iv heard stories of people telling their partners " im not ready.... for whatever ( insert what u want)" for months and months or even years. then apparently they are ready with someone 3lse within weeks.

i mean why tell me u dont like the zoo when i ask but when the new guy asks they go to th3 zoo and then has th3 nerve to tell me its different cos its in the summer lol.

December 25, 2017

of course ud be bitter and hurt.
but im annoy3d cos of the lies! why tell me she doesnt like to do sometbing when she does?! why tell me sh3 dont lik3 hand holding etc when she does? thats manipulation.

and no i dont care about social media. u guys are missing th3 point. i never really post on it. i once post3d on her facebook wall and sh3 didnt like it. m

iv heard stories of people telling their partners " im not ready.... for whatever ( insert what u want)" for months and months or even years. then apparently they are ready with someone 3lse within weeks.
i mean why tell me u dont like the zoo when i ask but when the new guy asks they go to th3 zoo and then has th3 nerve to tell me its different cos its in the summer lol.

Grow up.

She wasn't into you.

End of story.

If I had some dude I was barely dating and barely knew demand I post about him on social media, I'd be saying the same song and dance -- not until we're married -- because that's a kinder, gentler way of establishing boundaries over saying, "I'm really not sure about you and this relationship." Dating is about getting to know the person and personality and compatibility. It doesn't mean she's your territory you get to pee on and she'd better d*mn well post on social media.

I'm sorry how hurt you are that she posted him all over SM and not you.

She IS NOT INTO YOU, and she never was. You need to move on. You have a Ph.D...use your brain...get counseling.

People change their minds. People make decisions that previously they never would have fathomed...circumstances change. People change.

Get off the cross, sweetie, someone needs the wood. It is incredibly painful when someone shoots a hard "no" at you and then turns around and does it with someone else...I get that...I have gone through it, and it hurts...but the bottom line is, you simply were not compatible. She is not interested in you in that way and you can't change it. You can only accept it and move on.

December 25, 2017

Grow up.

She wasn't into you.

End of story.

If I had some dude I was barely dating and barely knew demand I post about him on social media, I'd be saying the same song and dance -- not until we're married -- because that's a kinder, gentler way of establishing boundaries over saying, "I'm really not sure about you and this relationship." Dating is about getting to know the person and personality and compatibility. It doesn't mean she's your territory you get to pee on and she'd better d*mn well post on social media.

I'm sorry how hurt you are that she posted him all over SM and not you.

She IS NOT INTO YOU, and she never was. You need to move on. You have a Ph.D...use your brain...get counseling.

People change their minds. People make decisions that previously they never would have fathomed...circumstances change. People change.

Get off the cross, sweetie, someone needs the wood. It is incredibly painful when someone shoots a hard "no" at you and then turns around and does it with someone else...I get that...I have gone through it, and it hurts...but the bottom line is, you simply were not compatible. She is not interested in you in that way and you can't change it. You can only accept it and move on.

i politely disagree. there is too much hypocrisy and contradiction in what you have written.

i have previously been told i have been used. some people use people. is that any different?

also if she was comfortable to move in with me and talk about marriage and our kids isnt that a contradiction to her saying she dont wanna post on fb until we are married.

i guess i can date women and tell them i want a rship with them and then change my mind. fair play.

December 25, 2017

i guess i can date women and tell them i want a rship with them and then change my mind. fair play.

Yes. You can.

December 25, 2017

i politely disagree. there is too much hypocrisy and contradiction in what you have written.
i have previously been told i have been used. some people use people. is that any different?

also if she was comfortable to move in with me and talk about marriage and our kids isnt that a contradiction to her saying she dont wanna post on fb until we are married.

i guess i can date women and tell them i want a rship with them and then change my mind. fair play.

That's a bit of history you DID NOT share in your initial post. If you want good advice, share a complete story. If she moved in with you and was still secretive about your relationship, including the FB feed, and friends and family, that is a major, huge red flag. You were probably aware of this BEFORE making this decision to shack up, but you refused to see it. Blinded by love or rose colored glasses. We have all made mistakes in this area. Live and learn, but if this woman was hiding you from the public, while also making promises to you and planning a long-term commitment with you, there were obviously some serious problems. Of course you're hurt and you feel betrayed. This is definitely more of using you for whatever gains and then moving on to the next victim...I feel bad for the new guy.

What's worse for him is when he gets chewed up and spit out, it's out there on SM for all the world to see. At least you have some privacy.

Yes, it is fair play if you decide to date, start a relationship, then change your mind. THIS IS NORMAL. This is DATING. You meet, you like, you go out, and somewhere along the way, someone (whether it's you or her) decides this isn't working. You break up. It might be you that changed your mind, or it could be her who changes her mind. She liked you at first, got to know you better, realized you really aren't what she wants, and ended it. You might be on a completely different plane, and ended up blindsided...it happens. It hurts.

December 25, 2017

From what you described, she's clearly not into you and only kept you around as an orbiter (maybe you're a nice guy). Next time, try to pay attention to her actions. I don't think she was trying to manipulate you *consciously*. We've always come across stories in which a woman would be waiting years for her man to marry her, but the man was never "ready"; then they broke up, and the same man would marry another woman 6 months later. OP: Maybe this new guy just gave her a big enough dose of dopamine to do things (e.g., posting their stuff on fb) that she wouldn't usually do.

December 25, 2017

also if she was comfortable to move in with me and talk about marriage and our kids isnt that a contradiction to her saying she dont wanna post on fb until we are married.
.

I thought you both lived with your parents

December 25, 2017

Awww I'm sorry, that sucks!! Those actions would definitely play with my head as well. Yes, people will tell you to get over it and move on (and you should) but it definitely is easier said than done.

When and why did you break up?

What do you now about the new guy? Is he the opposite of you?

What age are you two? I find that women in their 20s (people in their 20s in general)are often the most wishy washy people lol not on purpose but bc they are still learning about themselves. I feel I know myself well at 33 but just about 5-6 years ago I was all over the place when it came to dating lol

I apologize if you already answered these questions.

December 25, 2017

just venting. xmas day i feel sad thats all. yh its an old story and im starting to hate women and their hypocrisy and their power to hurt guys. why do we have to chase wom3n and initiate and pursue as guys. alwwys so painful. why do we guys have to be so understanding and patient?!!

to elaine. we both live with parebts but i was moving out to a one bed flat and she was gonna stay with me for a few days a week. we planned to go furniture shopping and do " our" place up etc. we didnt move in but we were kinda talking about it and heading there.

i dunno i guess its a bit like this. say im the guy dating a new girl.

her : " lets take a pic of us together"

me : " i dont like taking pics"

her : " you took loads with your ex. its all over facebook"

me : " yh that was then. im not doing that again. i learnt from my mistake"

her : " ok"

2 months after we break up i ask the new girl im seeing for pics and post it.

my ex " i thought u didnt do pics"

me : " things change"

now u guys are telling me im not an arsehole and im not cold and its not hurtful to her. im sure in my exampl3 she would be cursing thinking im a dick

December 25, 2017

im starting to hate women and their hypocrisy and their power to hurt guys.

It's not just women! Some HUMANS are just jerks! I have a female friend with a brand new baby whose husband of one year just walked out on them. THAT is rough!

You sound quite young if you both still live with parents. You have plenty of time to find your perfect match.

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Signs the person you are dating is ashamed of you or she is being authentic

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