rubyjuly Posted December 25, 2017 Posted December 25, 2017 Don't know if I will realistically make it.... past few days been at home all day with a flu, was mentally feeling ok though. Today feeling bit better physically so went out to do some errands and bam it hit me, talk about ptsd triggers... and the depression is maybe worse somehow than the actual ptsd. I don't know.. just not sure how to overcome this. Not looking for sympathy so please, but if anyone has any ideas or coping skills for ptsd triggers? This time of year not just specifically bc of the holidays but something else that happened last year is hugely triggering- I won't go into it. The thing of ptsd is that sometimes you really feel like you are back in that time, literally.. you can remind yourself your not in that past time but the emotional trauma overrides your logical brain- Anyways any ideas on helps to get my head out of feeling as if I am back in December of last year and what was going on then w him. Thank you
d0nnivain Posted December 25, 2017 Posted December 25, 2017 There are different kinds of PTSD. Are we talking military combat flashbacks? If so, go to your local VA. If you were in a car accident or saw someone you love die, get counseling. If you are sad because it's the holidays, self soothe, find a purpose, ignore it if you can & remember it's almost over. I hope your flu eases up. Feel better
Author rubyjuly Posted December 26, 2017 Author Posted December 26, 2017 (edited) Ptsd is trauma. Trauma stored in the body and mind after a traumatic event-- the symptoms of trauma in ptsd have the same basic physiology and mental effects regardless of what the event was that caused it. Ptsd caused by the trauma involved in military combat, a near fatal car accident, being assaulted etc is all trauma to the mind and body. Mine was caused by a series of assaults that happened to me over time by an intimate partner-- culminated when he held me against my will in a car several hours threatening me and then assaulting me that he's incarcerated for now. Trauma caused from domestic violence has been said by professionals to cause a more complex form of trauma due to the fact the person is not a stranger who assaults the victim-- they are an intimate partner--oftentimes a longtime partner,...so it is more damaging mentally than if it was some random stranger -- it is not a one off incident of violence like when someone is mugged or assaulted by a stranger it is a one off incident - it is like military combat in that sense because usually the victim is living in it (like I was)for a long time--- mental health professionals compare the effects on domestic violence victims to that of living in a war zone. Survival mode- always on high alert for another attack that you don't know for sure when it might happen, etc. Edited December 26, 2017 by rubyjuly
Akashsingh Posted December 26, 2017 Posted December 26, 2017 Don't know if I will realistically make it.... past few days been at home all day with a flu, was mentally feeling ok though. Today feeling bit better physically so went out to do some errands and bam it hit me, talk about ptsd triggers... and the depression is maybe worse somehow than the actual ptsd. I don't know.. just not sure how to overcome this. Not looking for sympathy so please, but if anyone has any ideas or coping skills for ptsd triggers? This time of year not just specifically bc of the holidays but something else that happened last year is hugely triggering- I won't go into it. The thing of ptsd is that sometimes you really feel like you are back in that time, literally.. you can remind yourself your not in that past time but the emotional trauma overrides your logical brain- Anyways any ideas on helps to get my head out of feeling as if I am back in December of last year and what was going on then w him. Thank you You need to see a medical psychologist. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 26, 2017 Posted December 26, 2017 What happened to you is horrible. Because it is so serious, your best strategy for dealing with it & avoiding the triggers is professional help. First you have to identify the triggers. Being touched, certain smells, being startled, being intimate. Everybody's triggers may be different. Once you identify them you can set about dealing with them. Best wishes.
Author rubyjuly Posted December 26, 2017 Author Posted December 26, 2017 Thank you.. yesterday afternoon I had to go over to the place it happened back in May...I had not been anywhere near there and avoided it at all costs but yesterday for the holiday there was a family thing literally half a block from where it happened -- I didn't want to talk about it at all or bring it up on Christmas and the person I was with was not aware that happened half a block away. I wanted it to be a nice Christmas for her so I bit the bullet and tried to focus on my time with her and enjoying it but of course in my mind I was acutely aware of the place just a stones throw down the street... I felt weird a mix of confusing feelings after-- was very thankful and happy to have her to spend the day with...mixed in with a very dark memory not long ago right down the street. We went to the beach after and i walked by myself for a minute to the waters edge looking out and she took a pic unbeknownst to me and sent it to me later. Seeing myself standing there just enjoying the water free to be myself, was really affecting to me and might be hard for people to understand my feelings around that. For so long with him I had to shut my own self my personality down, I wasn't free to roll up my pants and run up to the water at a beach, or feel at ease to laugh or breathe even, I was just a shell of who I had been, I had long ago **** down basic parts of who I am..to avoid him taking something the wrong way getting pushed off and avoiding getting beat..while other women were out there at the beach living, smiling, talking with their partner of what's on their mind, being able to express happiness or sadness or anger or a good or bad day, I had to kind of live in a shut down way... I lost out on that time in my life and won't ever get it back... I am so depressed in a profound way this morning realizing "I lost out on.... me. On my life. For those years" I just have to let the tears flow and let myself feel the grief of what I lost. If he had taken it one step farther that day end of May, if the passerby didn't see or call 911, is probably the case that yesterday that picture wouldn't have been taken of me... because I wouldn't be here to take a picture of. Regrets and loss and grief I will just have to try and take it one step at a time slow and steady and I'm not sure how but all I can do is try Just sad that I didn't believe in myself before it got to the point of 911 being called....but hopefully with this ending will be a better beginning to something new and positive and actually good for me, so I can be me. I am really thankful for having yesterday with her, for her- so so thankful she's a gift to me. It was just mixed in with the other, so I'll have to just acknowledge it for what it is, a very profoundly impacting and painful difficult mix of feelings that will take time to start to sort through and untangle but despite the very painful memory yesterday the goodness of her, I wouldn't want to not have had that very special time with her.
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