I'veseenbetterlol Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 I love my bf and so far he is the best guy I dated. Unlike my 1st love and a couple very short dating experiences (not flings or hookups), this relationship isn't as intense, seems to be a lot more steady. W/my 1st bf, I fell head over heels right away and that was a huge mistake as when I learned about some of his flaws (selfish flaws), I ended up getting hurt, same thing w/other guys I dated a short while. I find myself falling more in love w/him every time and he is just different. Is this normal?
GemmaUK Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 Sounds normal and healthy to me. Are you attracted to him and his personality? Do you get on well? Do you laugh together? Do you share core values? Do you respect each other and respect each other's need for space? Starting a relationship should be fun, drama free and easy to navigate because of good communication and consideration for each other. If you have all that then you could well have something between you that has a good chance of lasting. 1
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted December 24, 2017 Author Posted December 24, 2017 Sounds normal and healthy to me. Are you attracted to him and his personality? Do you get on well? Do you laugh together? Do you share core values? Do you respect each other and respect each other's need for space? Starting a relationship should be fun, drama free and easy to navigate because of good communication and consideration for each other. If you have all that then you could well have something between you that has a good chance of lasting. Yes to all the above. Idk, but I think my 1st relationship was a lot of infatuation vs true love. 1
GemmaUK Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 Then it sounds like you have something healthy going on. Infatuation can cause a person to put a partner on a pedestal which they will inevitably fall from. Do you miss this guy when you don't see him for a few days? Do you lust after him? It sounds like you do from you saying you fall in love a little bit more each time you see him.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 When you've had volatile relationships in the past it can be easy to confuse emotional angst with emotional connection, so relationships without it don't seem "normal." But, they are . Enjoy! 1
Mrin Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 Yes to all the above. Idk' date=' but I think my 1st relationship was a lot of infatuation vs true love.[/quote'] That's what I was thinking too. Google limerence and take a peek. Does any of that sound like your earlier relationships?
Hopeful30 Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 Every relationship is different. I personally think it's healthier when there is no "explosion" or "falling in love". That's just chemistry confusing you. In my experience, the gradual, steady development of feelings has been the stronger, more long lasting ones. Granted, I broke up with the guy for a lack of falling in love and chemistry, but it was the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. He really set the bar high. Haven't been in a relationship as good since, but regardless, you need balance. The fact that this is new for you is all good. But if you start to question if it's enough, then you may need to realize that he might not be the guy for you. Like all things, balance is key.
act00 Posted December 25, 2017 Posted December 25, 2017 Wow! I had never heard of limerence. It's frightening because it takes a long time for it to fade. That's nuts! One thing about unhealthy relationships is when you find yourself in a normal one, it feels wrong. It's just not what you're used to and can make you feel that the relationship isn't working, and that's the difficult part because you just don't know if the guy just isn't for you, even if things are really good, or if your experience is just different. It sounds like you are in a good, normal...steady...relationship, and it's moving at an even pace. Some relationships that start with an explosion, burn out just as quickly. This sounds like everything is being allowed to grow in a more healthy way.
elaine567 Posted December 25, 2017 Posted December 25, 2017 I love my bf and so far he is the best guy I dated. Unlike my 1st love and a couple very short dating experiences (not flings or hookups)' date=' this relationship isn't as intense, seems to be a lot more steady. W/my 1st bf, I fell head over heels right away and that was a huge mistake as when I learned about some of his flaws (selfish flaws), I ended up getting hurt, same thing w/other guys I dated a short while. I find myself falling more in love w/him every time and he is just different. Is this normal?[/quote'] Not only is he not the same guy as your previous bfs, you have also changed. You fell head over heels, you ignored the bad bits, and you got badly burnt so you are now holding back, protecting your heart. It doesn't feel so intense as you are not allowing yourself to get swept along on a maelstrom of emotion. 2
Gaeta Posted December 25, 2017 Posted December 25, 2017 Yes it's normal, and to me better, it's how I fell for my boyfriend, one date at a time and I grew to be completely crazy about him.
smackie9 Posted December 25, 2017 Posted December 25, 2017 Every experience is different, some get lucky and sparks fly, while some grow a strong bond through friendship. As long as you are happy and satisfied, that's all that really counts.
Recommended Posts