Give ex gf daughter a Christmas gift that was bought before breakup

[Frank44]

I had already bought a Christmas gift for her daughter before we broke up. We had a blow out arguement and I ended up breaking up with her. We haven’t talked since. I haven’t tried to contact her and she had tried to call me several times a couple weeks ago at 3 am but I didn’t answer. Other than that there hasn’t been any contact. I know her daughter wants the gift because she was asking for it but I just don’t know if it is a good idea or not. I was going to text the ex to see if she was ok with me doing that but I figured I see what you guys thought?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Return it. I'm sure someone else can get it for her.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I agree with you that it would be more appropriate to ask your ex for her permission before giving her daughter a gift.

 

However, you do need to consider the impact that your contact will have on your ex, right before Christmas. It might be very painful and upsetting for her, and she is likely going to get the wrong idea, thinking you miss her.

 

You need to take her feelings into account as well.

[Frank44]

I agree with What you said. I’m not trying to rekindle anything I just figured I would see. I can donate it somewhere if she says no I just figured before I did anything I would ask first

[Grapesofwrath]

How old is her daughter? If she is young enough, perhaps you can wrap it and drop at their place saying it's from Santa?

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I agree with What you said. I’m not trying to rekindle anything I just figured I would see. I can donate it somewhere if she says no I just figured before I did anything I would ask first

 

Any contact you make will give her that impression. She obviously still has unresolved feelings, that is why she tried to call you.

 

Calling her will only upset her more, trust me.

[Maggie4]

Was it just a quarrel or you really think you cannot be together anymore? Any chance of making up if both adults apologized? (I don't know what was said during the fight and how serious.) Just a suggestion in case you change your mind. I mean, why should a kid be denied a Christmas present because adults couldn't communicate better :-)

[SammySammy]

I usually think it's best to maintain no contact after a breakup. I'll make an exception in this case. Since the daughter already knows you bought the gift, I would give it to her and go ghost again afterward. There's no need to hurt a child because the adults can't get along.

 

Find a clean way to give the gift and move on with your life.

[d0nnivain]

If it really is about the kid, drop the gift off to the mom / EX & tell her to give it to the girl from Santa. Under no circumstances should the child be told it's from you.

 

If the mom isn't OK with that, return it or give it to somebody else if you can't return it.