Kevinehv Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 Ok so in my last post I explained there was a woman at work who I liked a lot but because of some mixed signals it took me a long time to actually ask her out. Thanks to some of you I actually did just ask her out and I'm happy I did. Not much could really happen, right? Either she says yes and we go on a date or she rejects me and I can go on with my life.... well that was before I thought about the other possibility .... girls who flake on you. Ofcourse I have been victim of this phenomena before and I know a lot of women often do not show or make up excuses not to go to a date. In case it's not clear yet; Her answer to my question if she wanted to get a drink with me was a big smile and a yes. So far so good, right? Well maybe my timing was not that great because I knew a day after I asked her she would go back to her country to spend the holiday (Poland) so I will not see her for 2,5 weeks, which is fine I'm not in a rush but in the 4 days she has been there she only messaged me a few times, which seems odd for a girl that should be at least somewhat interested in you. I'm sure that whenever I message her she will message me pretty much instantly but conversations are mostly short answers, which could also be because her English is not great. Normally I would say she is just not interested in me and I would move on but since I like her ofcourse I still want to be optimistic but I do not want to believe in fairytales. So a few questions: I know women often flake on you when you meet them online or exchange numbers on the street. However, I know this woman for many months + I will see her again on a daily basis. Would that make any difference or could she still agree for drinks and reject me after she comes back? Could it be she is not interested in me right now but still wants to hang out with me? She isn't initiating contact with me a lot. I'm not bombarding her with messages but should I talk to her or just wait untill she contacts me again (it has been almost 2 full days now)? Hope you can help me out a little bit
SevenCity Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 The fact that you will see her everyday has little impact on the flake factor. The fact that she is responding quickly is good but again does not guarantee anything. She could be low interest, shy, cautious, or expect you to initiate. Just chill until she returns, maybe send holiday wishes, but don’t try to analyze every text message and see what happens when she comes back.
smackie9 Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 When you ask a lady out, you should have a definite date, time, place, transportation arrangements (you meet or you pick up), and a plan B if some issue arises about scheduling, etc. I suggest you wait till she gets back and in the meantime ask other women out. When she gets back do what I posted above. Secondly, you haven't been out on a date yet so under no obligation to her does she have to amp up the communication....she doesn't know if she wants to invest in you yet, or she's just blowing smoke up yer a$$. You will have to see her response when you ask her out again. Remember to be desirable is to be less available. Don't be texting her when she's away....let her initiate.
Simple Logic Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 Do you worry a lot about things you have no control over? 1
Sara1989 Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 She is in her home country for Christmas, she is likely very busy catching up with her family/friends. She has texted you a few times...I think you need to chill and just wait for her to come back to set up a date. She is interested but Christmas a busy time of year. 1
Author Kevinehv Posted December 24, 2017 Author Posted December 24, 2017 When you ask a lady out, you should have a definite date, time, place, transportation arrangements (you meet or you pick up), and a plan B if some issue arises about scheduling, etc. I suggest you wait till she gets back and in the meantime ask other women out. When she gets back do what I posted above. Secondly, you haven't been out on a date yet so under no obligation to her does she have to amp up the communication....she doesn't know if she wants to invest in you yet, or she's just blowing smoke up yer a$$. You will have to see her response when you ask her out again. Remember to be desirable is to be less available. Don't be texting her when she's away....let her initiate. Yes you are right, I should've had a definite date and time. Like I said, my timing wasn't good but at the time I just wanted to know how she felt about having a drink with me and since she would go on holiday I didn't think it would be a good choice to schedule a date 3 weeks after. If it makes any difference though, I did ask her out one time before a few months ago. She had some kind of bump on her head and used that as an excuse she couldn't go out with me. I played it cool and just said 'No problem, maybe some other time'. Since then I felt we've become a bit closer and at least this time she did not use an excuse (yet). I will just see what happens and wait for her to message me.
Author Kevinehv Posted December 24, 2017 Author Posted December 24, 2017 Do you worry a lot about things you have no control over? In general no. Only with women I like...
Maggie4 Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 You'll just have to wait until she comes back. The fact that you will still see her means she won't just disappear. If she doesn't want to date you, you'll know.
Author Kevinehv Posted December 25, 2017 Author Posted December 25, 2017 You'll just have to wait until she comes back. The fact that you will still see her means she won't just disappear. If she doesn't want to date you, you'll know. Thank you for your comment. Yes I guess that is the only thing I can do at the moment. Although I did not hear from her for a few days, I decided to send her a message saying Happy christmas in her language on which she replied to and send me a picture of her near the christmas tree. It probably doesn't mean anything though. I guess the thing that I'm scared of is to look like a fool if she is playing with me. She knows I like her, hell 90% of the people at my department think we are secretly dating and tell me we look good together as a couple. I'm just used to women either being not into me at all or all over me and I guess that's why I want this woman.
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