He Asked Me Out Indirectly.

[LoverOfDance]

Good morning Loveshack,

Ok, so the guy I'm about to start dating asked me out indirectly. He had asked me out previously but for various reasons, we just didn't get to meet. He asked me out again indirectly but I didn't realize he was asking me out, it wasn't clear at all (not to me at least). We stopped chatting and I was wondering if I said something to upset him. Last night, I liked something he posted on social media and he messaged me a few minutes later. This time, he was more straight forward when he asked me out again. I was like "Wow, I had no idea you were asking me out before". I immediately said yes.

 

I wonder how many men have asked me out without me realizing it. Guys, are you ever vague or indirect when you ask a girl out? If so, in what ways have you been vague or indirect?

[sdraw108]

It's hard to know what you mean by "indirectly". Can you give a sample of the actual conversation?

[d0nnivain]

WTH are you saying? How does somebody ask somebody else out indirectly?

 

You make a good point though that if the asker is unclear they may be rejected because the recipient didn't even know the ask happened.

[Marc878]

Sounds like he maybe a little on the shy side.

[act00]

How did he ask you out "indirectly?" Can you be more clear or give examples?

 

If you don't know he's asking you out, obviously this is a problem.

[sdraw108]

WTH are you saying? How does somebody ask somebody else out indirectly?

 

You make a good point though that if the asker is unclear they may be rejected because the recipient didn't even know the ask happened.

 

A bit like the OP's post!

[LoverOfDance]

I choose not to share the details of our conversation for privacy reasons. Sorry about this.

 

I think the question is pretty clear though. I think that asking someone out indirectly would be pretty much implying that you'd like to take them out without actually saying it.

 

Guys, could you give examples of times when you haven't been direct or straight forward when asking a girl out? :-)

[jjgitties]

I am not sure what you mean. If I were to ask a woman out I probably would not walk up to her and say," so you want to go out on a date?". Using those particular words. I would probably word it a bit more subtly like, find something in common that I know she likes to do and subtly re arrange my schedule and my time to try to conveniently happen to be there to hang out with her.

[Sunlight72]

I wonder how many men have asked me out without me realizing it. Guys, are you ever vague or indirect when you ask a girl out? If so, in what ways have you been vague or indirect?

Do you mean being vague if it is meant to be a date, or just meant to be buddies?

 

In that case, yes. I asked out my last girlfriend to go on a hike and see the leaves changing colors, but I did not make it clear if it was a date or just a neighborly activity.

 

I did it that way as I wasn't sure I wanted to date her, and I was concerned with hurting her feelings if we didn't click, and therefore didn't end up dating.

 

If you mean being vague like, "I'm thinking of going to see a movie next week, and it's not very popular, so there will probably be some empty seats in the theater. I wonder if any other people will want to see it?", the no. I'm sometimes shy, but not that bad.

 

Good luck!

[Sunlight72]

On the other hand, last week (I'm single now) I asked out a girl on a date (in person), and when she said yes, and we were talking about the details, I literally said, "I am taking you out".

 

We had a nice time, during which she eventually happened to mention her boyfriend of a couple months.

 

It's fine, and it was nice just to visit and meet a new person. It's funny though, I thought to myself, "how can I be more clear?" ha ha. It goes both ways I guess.

[Mrin]

I literally have no idea what you're talking about. Like going out on a date? Being in a relationship? Going to an event? Can you at least sanitize and share something, anything, Bueller, Bueller

[LoverOfDance]

Thanks for the replies so far guys.

 

@Sunlight72 You did exactly what I asked, thanks ! I feel like there are so many ways that guys can be vague without even knowing it themselves.

 

I think it's hard for guys to be straightforward sometimes because of fear of rejection or fear of coming off as aggressive.

 

Concerning the girl you asked out last week, I think it was possible for her to still have assumed that you were going out as friends since a friend can also "take you out as well". Taking someone out doesn't necessarily mean taking them out on a date.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

So, you're wondering if there have been other guys that have been asking you out on dates and you haven't realized it? Is that your main question?

 

I'm going to say probably not. I think most men are pretty direct in asking for a date.