goingcrazy101 Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 Its been just over a year since the ex and I broke up. I came to this site to get advice last year when I was going through the break up and the emotions as alot of you are feeling now. Alot of nice people gave me advice. None of which I wanted to hear at the time but once I took the advice my healing started and continued. I wanted to come back and check in and let everyone know that I have been where you are and time heals your pain. Last year this time I was in ruins, the obsessive thoughts every day over and over. Checking my phone every minute hoping to hear from her... you guys know what I am talking about. It goes away with time. The best advice I can give to you as hard as it is to hear is to walk away and let it go. Sounds easy and its not I know because I was there. The sooner you accept it and focus on yourself and other positive things the sooner you will feel better. The no contact rule works. The sooner you do it the sooner you will heal. Its hard as hell but it works if you stick to it. In my case my ex never came back. I never heard from her again and I am ok with that now. I have moved on I have a beautiful girlfriend now whos awesome. I know you have tunnel vision and all you want is what you had but believe me I have been there and now that I see the other side of it I can assure all of you there is hope. You just have to stay busy and dont fall back into it. Stay strong. Stay no contact. The urge to call and text will go away in time. STAY STRONG AND STAY NO CONTACT IT WORKS. 8
HumanMachine Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 Congratulations man.. no contact truly is the only way when trying to heal..
Maldives Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 because me and my ex work together it's not been as easy 15 mths now was doing great after I came back from overseas after spending a mt h abroad it broke the chord I came back stringer but after a few weeks and I think it has something to do wth Xmas and feeling alone where I live in back to thinking about her.
Nadine123 Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 Congrats for moving on and for all of those going through a rough time, know that it will pass. Wishing you all love and happiness
HiCrunchy Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 Glad to see you have moved on. Would u have felt the same if u were still single? 1
divegrl Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 I’m so happy for you. Thank you for the beautiful update! Many blessing my friend!!!
SevenCity Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 Glad to see you have moved on. Would u have felt the same if u were still single? I doubt it. NC is good practice but falling for someone else is the real cure. 1
Author goingcrazy101 Posted December 24, 2017 Author Posted December 24, 2017 What helped the most was staying busy to keep my mind off it. The boredom is what was hardest to deal with because my mind just ran a constant loop thinking about her and obsessing. I was in a much better place when I was by myself after about 6 months of staying busy and changing my life style to not revolve around "us". Having someone new is great I can focus on doing fun things with my new partner. I do still think of my ex from time to time. Mutual friends have told me she has a new bf who moved up to be with her and I can honestly say that I am happy for her. Would love to bump into her and chat I really think we could be just friends as the spark wore off on the relationship but there are no hard feelings whatsoever from my side. It was somewhat a mutual break up.
SevenCity Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 Not to question your progress, but thinking about her from time to time doesn’t sound like you are over her. Moreover, a mutual breakup (if it really was) is much easier to get over than one you didn’t want. I’ve had mutual breakups and I hardly give them a second thought. Its when you really love a woman and she leaves abruptly that hurts the most. I agree keeping busy helps, but depending on how hurt you are it is not a solution. Time will lessen the pain, a new love will make it completely go away.
Darkchan Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 Thank you for writing here after a year again! Give me hope that next christmas will be something I can enjoy rather than feeling this knot in my stomache. 1
Author goingcrazy101 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Posted December 25, 2017 To clarify I think about her from time to time when something reminds me of her. In the same way I think about ex gf's of 20 years ago. Not a yearning or missing her just a passing thought with no emotion attached.
Author goingcrazy101 Posted December 25, 2017 Author Posted December 25, 2017 Thank you for writing here after a year again! Give me hope that next christmas will be something I can enjoy rather than feeling this knot in my stomache. Darkchan it just takes time. Stay busy and stay focused on moving forward. Force yourself to do it and eventually one day you will just continue doing it automatically. There is a light at the end of the tunnel you just have to keep walking towards it even when its pitch dark just keep going its there I promise you. 1
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