Maggie4 Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 (edited) I've never seen you. All I know is you complained about being ugly. So I believe you are not very good looking. If you disagree, then the complaint about being ugly was fake? But I would never use the word ugly to describe anyone's appearance. That's disrespectful and you should at least respect yourself, so don't say silly things. Edited December 23, 2017 by Maggie4 4
Simple Logic Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 I have dated women that I thought were attractive that I know most other men would not agree. Attractiveness is not always sterotypical physical appearance. I was always smart enough to never tell a woman that.
Versacehottie Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 I've just got to throw in the suggestion that by complaining about being ugly, you're putting him in a no-win situation. If he agrees with you, he gets criticised for being rude. If he disagrees with you, you won't believe him anyway. Also, if he tells you you're not ugly, he's rewarding your behaviour and you'll keep doing it. These are the reasons you need to stop. Actually the line is rather wide. Putting down your appearance is quite different to saying "I'm a goofball! I did this". It actually takes a great deal of confidence to humoursly put yourself down. But it takes no confidence whatsoever to insult yourself. If I may add, it takes no confidence whatsoever to insult yourself...and fish for compliments and reassurance. Basically begging the recipient to give you something that you are UNABLE to give yourself. Huge difference between that and being self-deprecating--which implies confidence, i.e. i'm a goofball, gonna call myself out for it first and lay it on the table, take it or leave it, it is who I am vs I'm ugly, pregnant pause that no one can fix properly or respond to properly. 1
kendahke Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 I find humility and humorous self deprecation attractive. IE "I'm such a goofball! I did this..." Rather than the attitude "my **** don't stink." Almost nothing's a bigger turn off to me than a know it all who never apologizes. Some people do have too much self esteem! but it can be a fine line between "I'm so ugly!", fishing for compliments for reassurance, and this self deprecation. OP hasn't even met him in person yet. He's just a guy that I talk to and haven't met up with yet.'' A bit premature to be talking about what someone never does.
smackie9 Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 I find humility and humorous self deprecation attractive. IE "I'm such a goofball! I did this..." Rather than the attitude "my **** don't stink." Almost nothing's a bigger turn off to me than a know it all who never apologizes. Some people do have too much self esteem! but it can be a fine line between "I'm so ugly!", fishing for compliments for reassurance, and this self deprecation. That isn't a fine line, those are extreme examples. If you can't determine the difference then ya there would be a fine line. either or, it's still make you unattractive.
spiderowl Posted December 24, 2017 Posted December 24, 2017 I don't know what he intended to stay, but it did come across as a backhanded compliment. I don't think I'd feel very comfortable about receiving such a 'compliment'. If you like the guy, you need to subtly find out a bit more about how he is thinking of you. Is he really attracted but thinks you are attractive rather than model beautiful or is he really being negative?
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