ConfusedBlonde Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 I need a good reply to this.. Hey everyone! I’m actually speechless to what my ex sent me last night. To the point where I haven’t replied, and that’s not my style. I usually always have something to say! Here is a little run down before I get ahead of mysellf. My ex and I have been broken up for 6 mths now. We had a 5 yr relationship, more ups than downs. We’re both in our thirties, but I have a child from a previous relationship. Long story short. Half of a year has passed, I’ve grown in many ways. I tried moving on, but no one has seemed to fill a void. I miss my ex. Never admitted it tho to him. So anyways, here we are to last night.. He messaged me again! (Always was contacting me but not to this degree!) “Hey ******(Nickname he used to call me) I miss you so much I broke up w my gf because we always fight and she called me brain dead and I told her if she acted half as nice as my ex then I would stay w her...you really were the best gf I'm sorry I wish I could've been the person I am today. I've been in school for the past month and have 4 more months left to get my class A CDL I've already got prehired for a couple companies might work for ******* they pay 63k minimum for the 1st year with bonuses...anyway I hope your doing well I'm sure you are you should take me out on the town some night!” What do I say back tho? I’m stubborn to give in so easily with any kind of remark. I’m like my father, as he is as well like his father. He is not very vocal with his feelings. But here I noticed he’s very vocal. The ending is a little joke, he brought me out on town our first night of meeting. I just would love if anyone can give me some input, I would be grateful!
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 Well, what's your goal? Do you want to get back together?
Author ConfusedBlonde Posted December 21, 2017 Author Posted December 21, 2017 Eventually I would like to get back together..
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 Eventually I would like to get back together.. Then "I miss you too" should cover it! 3
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 Eventually I would like to get back together.. What do you mean eventually? It sounds like you want a response that simultaneously punishes this guy for ending your relationship previously but keeps him interested enough to keep chasing you. I don't think it works like that. 4
Nilfiry Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 You should reply with something like, "sure, we can hang out some night." And then you schedule a hangout date and go from there. You should not sound so eager about getting back together because I honestly think that you should not get back together. Chances are, you will just get a repeat of what led you to break up in the first place. People at their core do not change so easily. Consider that a friendly warning. Nevertheless, there is also no reason to close all doors of opportunities to yourself. Do not comment much on everything else. Just respond to the part about hanging out in town some night.
Author ConfusedBlonde Posted December 21, 2017 Author Posted December 21, 2017 What do you mean eventually? It sounds like you want a response that simultaneously punishes this guy for ending your relationship previously but keeps him interested enough to keep chasing you. I don't think it works like that. I don’t want to punish him, I just don’t want to seem like a pushover..
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 Then say something like: Sorry about the demise of your relationship. Good for you for getting your act together. That is positive. It doesn't necessarily invite continued interaction but it doesn't prohibit it either. 3
todreaminblue Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 why did you two break up was it mutual?...deb
Author ConfusedBlonde Posted December 21, 2017 Author Posted December 21, 2017 why did you two break up was it mutual?...deb Many reasons, one being we live 50 miles apart from each other. It was mutual at first then I instantly regretted it..
d0nnivain Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 Many reasons, one being we live 50 miles apart from each other. It was mutual at first then I instantly regretted it.. then why are you dragging your feet now? Yeah I know you don't want to look like a push over but somebody has to make the first move. Being standoffish could back fire. 1
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 “Hey ******(Nickname he used to call me) I miss you so much I broke up w my gf because we always fight and she called me brain dead and I told her if she acted half as nice as my ex then I would stay w her...you really were the best gf I'm sorry I wish I could've been the person I am today. I've been in school for the past month and have 4 more months left to get my class A CDL I've already got prehired for a couple companies might work for ******* they pay 63k minimum for the 1st year with bonuses...anyway I hope your doing well I'm sure you are you should take me out on the town some night!” So his way of sweeping you off your feet and tell you how much he misses you is to begin by complaining about a relationship he has had with another woman? He says he cares about you then in next breath says he would stay with his girlfriend if she was a bit nicer to him. Everything about it screams "backup option" because he doesn't want to be single, and I wouldn't be that impressed. I understand that you still have feelings for him, but I would caution against jumping back into a relationship with this guy at the moment because he might not be finished with his most recent ex. Also, if he has been sending you similar messages while in a relationship with someone else, he is more than capable of doing the exact same thing to you. The more I think about it, the more I think you should just ignore the message and keep looking for someone better. 7
Author ConfusedBlonde Posted December 21, 2017 Author Posted December 21, 2017 So his way of sweeping you off your feet and tell you how much he misses you is to begin by complaining about a relationship he has had with another woman? He says he cares about you then in next breath says he would stay with his girlfriend if she was a bit nicer to him. Everything about it screams "backup option" because he doesn't want to be single, and I wouldn't be that impressed. I understand that you still have feelings for him, but I would caution against jumping back into a relationship with this guy at the moment because he might not be finished with his most recent ex. Also, if he has been sending you similar messages while in a relationship with someone else, he is more than capable of doing the exact same thing to you. The more I think about it, the more I think you should just ignore the message and keep looking for someone better. Well if that’s the case tell me what I could say back. This actually just made me view it completely different.
elaine567 Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 So his way of sweeping you off your feet and tell you how much he misses you is to begin by complaining about a relationship he has had with another woman? He says he cares about you then in next breath says he would stay with his girlfriend if she was a bit nicer to him. Everything about it screams "backup option" because he doesn't want to be single, and I wouldn't be that impressed. I understand that you still have feelings for him, but I would caution against jumping back into a relationship with this guy at the moment because he might not be finished with his most recent ex. Also, if he has been sending you similar messages while in a relationship with someone else, he is more than capable of doing the exact same thing to you. The more I think about it, the more I think you should just ignore the message and keep looking for someone better. ^^^ agreed and it is almost Christmas and he is looking at being on his own for the holidays... and as he said "YOU should take ME out on the town some night!” 1
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 Well if that’s the case tell me what I could say back. This actually just made me view it completely different. Sorry, I didn't want to make you feel bad, but he seemed a bit full of himself thinking you would jump at the chance to take him out as soon as he snaps his fingers. From the way he was talking, I'm not sure things are totally finished with the girlfriend/ex, and you don't want to get caught up in the middle of that if it is a recent breakup. It isn't fair to you. No one should settle for being the backup or rebound, that is why I would just ignore it. It's your call.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 ^^^ agreed and it is almost Christmas and he is looking at being on his own for the holidays... and as he said "YOU should take ME out on the town some night!” This is what I took out of it too, but she did say it was some kind of inside joke....?
Author ConfusedBlonde Posted December 22, 2017 Author Posted December 22, 2017 This is what I took out of it too, but she did say it was some kind of inside joke....? Ya, I know doesn’t sound funny to others. Also the place he wants the job is located in the same town as me. So it all mixes together. It’s been 24 hrs now and I haven’t responded. I still want to but with this time lapse I think he needs to prove himself more? Today is also my Birthday actually! I do miss him tho like crazy.
Author ConfusedBlonde Posted December 22, 2017 Author Posted December 22, 2017 I never replied.. but he remembered it was my birthday and sent me a “Hope you have a good birthday!! ” message.
HumanMachine Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 I never replied.. but he remembered it was my birthday and sent me a “Hope you have a good birthday!! ” message. Happy Birthday! 1
BarbedFenceRider Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 I thought OP already stated that "me out on the town" was a personal joke between them... I think the guy was trying to convey regret in the loss of his relationship with OP. He just figured out what he wanted when he broke up with the other chick. He was comparing his now ex girlfriend to OP and realized that OP is what he wants and needs. Ofcourse, I could be wrong...I am just hoping that 5 years is something to build upon. Not detract. Hopeless romantic.
Soak Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 (edited) He's about to earn $63k (according to him), yet he expects YOU to take him out one night? I don't know any entry-level jobs that pay $63k, except for highly specialised fields that involve 4-6 years study at minimum. Text shmext... Means nothing. If he really wanted you back and was a worthy communicator, he'd call. Sounds like he doesn't want to be alone. Don't respond and see if he follows up. Even then, i wouldn't respond to his crumbs. I'm with Scarlett O'Hara on this. Do not fall for these grandiose statements of regret, they're usually BS. Look at the facts: - text message, not phone call - compares you with someone else - comes back instantly after a different break up - Arrogantly and entitledly (albeit maybe jokingly) asks YOU to take him out.. Unless you want more pain and heartache in your life, keep moving forward. And, do not respond to him! Happy Birthday Edited December 22, 2017 by Soak
Author ConfusedBlonde Posted December 22, 2017 Author Posted December 22, 2017 I thought OP already stated that "me out on the town" was a personal joke between them... I think the guy was trying to convey regret in the loss of his relationship with OP. He just figured out what he wanted when he broke up with the other chick. He was comparing his now ex girlfriend to OP and realized that OP is what he wants and needs. Ofcourse, I could be wrong...I am just hoping that 5 years is something to build upon. Not detract. Hopeless romantic. No you’re right. I’m a hopeless romantic myself. I want to try to make this work. But how I should react is where I’m lost. All I said was “Thanks!” So far. I am so unsure still.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 No you’re right. I’m a hopeless romantic myself. I want to try to make this work. But how I should react is where I’m lost. All I said was “Thanks!” So far. I am so unsure still. My suggestion is to just stop playing games and be straightforward.
Soak Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 My suggestion is to just stop playing games and be straightforward. My siggestion is to remain aloof and not contact him, unless he contacts you. "Time" will tell. Personally i think it wreaks of he doesn't want to be alone, but it is your choice, and as i said, time will tell.
Author ConfusedBlonde Posted December 23, 2017 Author Posted December 23, 2017 My siggestion is to remain aloof and not contact him, unless he contacts you. "Time" will tell. Personally i think it wreaks of he doesn't want to be alone, but it is your choice, and as i said, time will tell. I agree at this point after thinking it over. I didn’t respond to his initial message, but the birthday wishes I simply said, “Thanks!” More effort is needed. I’m interested in someone else at this time too, so his effort to ruin that almost was succeeded. But I’m done playing games. Thank you everyone!
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