bc72fgbjbc Posted December 20, 2017 Posted December 20, 2017 There's this girl I've been dating for about 2 weeks (idk if it's important in the story but we're both 18) and we live in the same neighborhood so it's really easy to see each other when we have some free time. The problem is, she just got out of a relationship about a month ago, but at the beginning she didn't say much about it. We've been on 5 dates, always at my house (she never invited me and never complained about the location of our date so I guess it's not part of the problem) first time we saw each other we talked a lot, I also helped her applying for a new job online, drank some beer and we ended up kissing on my couch. 2 days later we saw each other again and we spent pretty much all of our time kissing and cuddling while watching netflix, talked a little bit about our day but that's all. On this date I tried to initiate a little more contact but she turned me down saying she wasn't ready so I stopped. Dates 3 & 4 were pretty much like the second and finally today it was the fifth. This time it was her that initiated contact but I wasn't really expecting that and honestly I wasn't really into it, so I just accepted her handjob and did nothing else. She looked surprised but not mad. We also text a lot (she texts me first about half the time). She always find some time for me and looks like she cares. Not long ago she also said that she feels really good with me, but I think she was drunk that night. However, today the texting didn't end well. She looked less enthousiastic after our date talking a lot about her former relationship and that she wants to keep spending time with me but that she still thinks about her ex and that it is all f*cked up in her head. She also said that it's going too fast and I shouldn't expect much even if she still has an interest in me. I answered that I'm ready to give her more space and more time to see things clearly and that I'm sure everything's gonna be alright. But in fact I don't really know how to feel about it. What would you do? I don't really think I can see clearly right now since it just happened so I need all of your advice to make the right decision.
hercules22 Posted December 20, 2017 Posted December 20, 2017 i wouldn't wait for her she is definitely not ready to date right now and even when she is ready down the road how long will that be ?? she even said it herself better off not staying in touch if you think you will catch feeling for her i once waited on a girl gave her alot space and went no contact and then i just said screw this im going to fully focus on moving on cause i felt like a backup when we got back in touch months later . the way she was blowing hot and cold she might do the same thing with you i couldn't take her serious 1
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted December 20, 2017 Author Posted December 20, 2017 So today she informed me that she probably wasn't that much into me and was just happy to spend some good times with someone and forget her loneliness for a while but that she didn't really see ourselves having a future together. Then I answered that everything is cool and if she changes her mind or just want to come over to continue watching some netflix with me like we used to, she knows how to reach me. She said netflix would be a good idea but that she doesn't think she will change her mind about a serious relationship. So I guess it's pretty much over, I guess it could be worse but it's still not really what I wanted. Idk about the netflix thing it could be fun but I don't really know if I developped feelings for her. On top of that I'm also wondering if I did something wrong (all details on my first message) or if I was just unlucky.
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2017 Posted December 20, 2017 You couldn't have done anything different to change the outcome. She already knew right from the start you weren't bf material for her. Like she said she used you because she was lonely. 2
Erik30 Posted December 20, 2017 Posted December 20, 2017 Sorry to hear it didn't work out. I doubt you did anything wrong, it was just bad timing. You were a rebound unfortunately. She basically told you that she used you because she didn't want to be alone.... I think she was just trying to be nice when she said she would watch Netflix with you. She'll probably give you a lame excuse or flake when you actually try to make it happen. But you shouldn't torture yourself like that anyway. 3
xaviercross Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 She sounds confused. And if she's just out of a relationship a month ago, getting into a new one is pretty quick. She's probably still in contact with the ex so that won't be helping her move on. It sounds like she genuinely did like hanging out with you, but obviously history with an ex is hard to forget. At least she was honest with you about it all. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 She's not over the ex. It's not you, OP. It really is her. And Netflix is not a good idea. You're into her, so this will only result in you getting more attached and thus getting hurt. 1
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted December 22, 2017 Author Posted December 22, 2017 So last night when I was with my friends she kept texting me that she wanted to see me and really wanted me to come over and "watch some netflix" with me. I said I was busy but that the following day (today) I was free in the afternoon. She said she would think about it. Today she texted me she only woke up at noon (it was 1pm and I was free at 2pm) and that she didn't really want to go out of her bed. I just answered "ok" and I don't really expect much from now. Last night she was probably just trying to use ma as a booty call because she started feeling lonely again I guess.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 So last night when I was with my friends she kept texting me that she wanted to see me and really wanted me to come over and "watch some netflix" with me. I said I was busy but that the following day (today) I was free in the afternoon. She said she would think about it. Today she texted me she only woke up at noon (it was 1pm and I was free at 2pm) and that she didn't really want to go out of her bed. I just answered "ok" and I don't really expect much from now. Last night she was probably just trying to use ma as a booty call because she started feeling lonely again I guess. And this is why I said setting up Netflix "dates" (or dates of any kind) is not a smart move with this girl. She's not doing so for the right reasons. Please don't keep being accessible to her like this. You are showing her you're willing to entertain her at her convenience. 1
Space Ritual Posted December 22, 2017 Posted December 22, 2017 So last night when I was with my friends she kept texting me that she wanted to see me and really wanted me to come over and "watch some netflix" with me. I said I was busy but that the following day (today) I was free in the afternoon. She said she would think about it. Today she texted me she only woke up at noon (it was 1pm and I was free at 2pm) and that she didn't really want to go out of her bed. I just answered "ok" and I don't really expect much from now. Last night she was probably just trying to use ma as a booty call because she started feeling lonely again I guess. She is playing games.....she wants someone to fill her emotional needs wile she gets banged by her boyfriend. You fill that need. You were already friendzoned and you were the last one to figure that out. Do yourself a favor. Remove her from your life, block her and move on. She'll continue to pull these stunts if you allow her enough of a crack in an open door to do so. Let some other poor fool subject himself to being a Knight in Shining Corduroy
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted December 22, 2017 Author Posted December 22, 2017 She is playing games.....she wants someone to fill her emotional needs wile she gets banged by her boyfriend. You fill that need. You were already friendzoned and you were the last one to figure that out. Do yourself a favor. Remove her from your life, block her and move on. She'll continue to pull these stunts if you allow her enough of a crack in an open door to do so. Let some other poor fool subject himself to being a Knight in Shining Corduroy Hum she hasn't a boyfriend and she isn't dating anybody. Her ex is in a relationship.
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted December 22, 2017 Author Posted December 22, 2017 Please don't keep being accessible to her like this. You are showing her you're willing to entertain her at her convenience. That's why I made it clear that the only moment I was accessible was this afternoon and that I declined her offer last night.
Yosemite Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 (edited) So I guess it's pretty much over, I guess it could be worse but it's still not really what I wanted. Idk about the netflix thing it could be fun but I don't really know if I developped feelings for her. On top of that I'm also wondering if I did something wrong (all details on my first message) or if I was just unlucky. This time it was her that initiated contact but I wasn't really expecting that and honestly I wasn't really into it, so I just accepted her handjob and did nothing else. She looked surprised but not mad. If you did anything “wrong,” it was accepting her handjob and not doing anything else after that. I guess you didn’t like that she initiated that day? And after she finished the handjob, I guess she could tell that you weren’t into it or maybe she felt that you were selfish because you didn’t reciprocate and do anything sexually for her. I guess that would be something you could do differently in the future. Edited December 23, 2017 by Yosemite 2
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted December 23, 2017 Author Posted December 23, 2017 If you did anything “wrong,” it was accepting her handjob and not doing anything else after that. I guess you didn’t like that she initiated that day? And after she finished the handjob, I guess she could tell that you weren’t into it or maybe she felt that you were selfish because you didn’t reciprocate and do anything sexually for her. I guess that would be something you could do differently in the future. I agree with you, I was so surprised and not really into it that day. But do you think it was enough to turn her off that much? I mean we had great chemistry.
Yosemite Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 I agree with you, I was so surprised and not really into it that day. But do you think it was enough to turn her off that much? I mean we had great chemistry. Yes, I do. It’s possible that she thinks that you have a low sex drive, or she could think that you’re selfish in bed, but it’s more likely that she thinks that you don’t find her sexually/physically attractive because she’s asked you for sex several times and you’ve turned her down each time. You also had the opportunity to have sex with her after the hand job and you didn’t want to. If you weren’t into it that day, you shouldn’t have let her come over or accepted the hand job…now she feels undesirable and unwanted. No amount of chemistry can make up for that. But, the fact is, she doesn’t want a relationship with you which is what you seem to be angling for, so I think you should just try to forget about her and find someone else.
Jon5150 Posted December 23, 2017 Posted December 23, 2017 If you're into her romantically..stay away. 1
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