suckered Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 I met a guy through OKC last week. I have had a string of bad luck with guys all year and have been hurt a lot. This guy seems nice and like he is looking for a real relationship. First date he asked me to this place that only makes tea. I don't mind but I am not someone who would ever buy/drink tea on my own. Meanwhile he enjoys it and knows so much about all different kinds and stuff. I had an OK time. Second date we agree to go to the movies. He is trying to look up cinemas and then says that there are no cinemas in our area. I said there are 2 actually. He said "Oh those only play arthouse movies and I am not into that". I am very much a fan of arthouse movies and would watch them over mainstream Hollywood ones anytime. In the end he found a chain cinema and set up the date with a dinner close to the casino. I really dislike the casino area. Should I just cancel? It seems like we have different tastes in just about everything I know I could have said that I want to watch an arthouse movie and he may have gone along with that but I feel those things should just click naturally.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 My first question is why go to his apartment on the first date??? It turned out innocent enough, but not a wise move. He sounds a little on the lackluster side. I can see that you have differing interests, but these, thus far, can be overcome. I don't know what the 'casino' area is, but is it a safety concern? Let him know how you feel and change the venue. Suggest some other places? 1
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 If you really don't want to see this movie with him in a mainstream, non art-house theater speak up. He's made is preferences known: tea & non-art house movies. Since you haven't said anything he probably thinks you like the same stuff he likes. You haven't even given him a chance to come around to your way of thinking. You just want to reject him because what you know about his preferences don't match yours. 1
Author suckered Posted December 19, 2017 Author Posted December 19, 2017 My first question is why go to his apartment on the first date??? It turned out innocent enough, but not a wise move. He sounds a little on the lackluster side. I can see that you have differing interests, but these, thus far, can be overcome. I don't know what the 'casino' area is, but is it a safety concern? Let him know how you feel and change the venue. Suggest some other places? Tea wasn't at his place but at a tea house. Casino is not a safety concern, I just dislike casinos and everything associated with them. I think that we are both lukewarm
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 I'm having trouble understanding how someone who likes tea that much doesn't like arthouse movies as well. I say give him another chance. 3
carhill Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 IMO, move on. 'Seems nice' isn't what I'd call inspiring. 1
RecentChange Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 What do you like about him? What makes you want to see him again? "Wanting a relationship" isn't compatibility enough to make things work. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 Tea wasn't at his place but at a tea house. Casino is not a safety concern, I just dislike casinos and everything associated with them. I think that we are both lukewarm My apologies. I missed the 'tea' in tea house. I understand. Could be the case that neither of you are willing to put in 100%.
Gaeta Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 Didn't you exchange online before meeting? I was not big on chatting with men before meeting them but I asked them enough questions to establish we had the same life style and same likes. I gave my bf a coffee shop address for our first meeting, he doesn't drink coffee it's a good thing he didn't consider my coffee appreciation a deal breaker.
elaine567 Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 Well it really depends how often you go to arthouse movies and whether you would want him to accompany you there. Does your life really revolve around arthouse movies? As for the tea, who really cares? When you live together you will have tea and coffee in your cupboard, big deal. Go out to dinner is my advice, he seems to be making an effort 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 What do you like about him? What makes you want to see him again? "Wanting a relationship" isn't compatibility enough to make things work. Absolutely! I was just having a talk like this in a roundabout way with a friend today. I think she might want a relationship more than she actually likes this person she has a lot of ups and downs with. Really, it should be the other way around....you like someone so much you want a relationship with them....not that you want a relationship so bad that you decide someone might be good for it.... Online dating gets this all twisted because you start out with that pressure. 2
snowboy91 Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 I'll put it this way - do you want to spend time in a relationship with this guy knowing you'll have to constantly compromise on the activities you two do together? That's a lot of effort that you have to be willing to put in for the length of the relationship.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 19, 2017 Posted December 19, 2017 I'll put it this way - do you want to spend time in a relationship with this guy knowing you'll have to constantly compromise on the activities you two do together? That's a lot of effort that you have to be willing to put in for the length of the relationship. It's a bit premature for that assumption, after just one date. 1
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