Holiday season...is it a good idea to send ex bf's parents a card?

[adilaurentis]

As I am sending out all of these Christmas cards I was wondering if it's a good idea to send one to my ex boyfriend's parents. We dated for almost two years and I had a great relationship with his parents and they liked me a lot. They were both genuine, nice, down-to-earth, old fashioned people that I enjoyed quite a bit. They hosted me at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and many other occasions and I kind of want to just send a card with a simple message saying thank you and wishing them happy holidays. Nothing more, nothing too emotional or anything; just pure kindness. And I'm not expecting anything in return.

 

Some of my friends voted against this, though, expressing concerns over how it could cause drama and confusion, and that it's usually not a good idea to "bother" the parents when you're no longer relevant to their son, etc. Or if the guy did something wrong that caused the breakup, it could remind them how much he blew it and make them feel guilty and such.

 

We broke up because he left me for a job and his parents were really sad that it had to end the way it did. They saw long term potential with us and could really see the difference that I'd made in his life. I know we're not over each other yet and it's been over 4 months. However, we haven't communicated at all since the breakup except a time when we ran into each other randomly.

Edited December 19, 2017 by adilaurentis

[d0nnivain]

Kindness is never a bad thing, especially at this time of year.

 

 

Since you only just broke up with your BF 4 months ago I think it would be OK to send the parents a holiday card as a way of saying Good Bye & thank you. Do not discuss your relationship with their son; just get & offer some closure. I'd say something like the following:

 

 

Dear

BF

's Parents:

 

 

I wanted to wish you the best of the Holidays. Even though its unlikely that we will ever spend this time of year together again, I simply wanted to say that I enjoyed all the past holidays we shared.

 

 

Best wishes for all of your family's future endeavors.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

 

adilaurentis

 

That has to be the end of it. You can't reach out at Valentine's Day, Easter, the Fourth of July or next Christmas.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I see no reason for writing any kind of message aside from "Happy Holidays." I also think it's fine to add them to your permanent Christmas card list.

[kendahke]

Sure--you're all adults. I'm sure they'd really like it.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I'm going to have to agree with your friends that I don't think it is appropriate.

 

It just seems like an attempt to get his attention indirectly through his parents, and if they are no longer part of your life then I don't think it is fair to put them in the middle.

 

It's up to you.

[mortensorchid]

I still send flowers to my former bf's mother on Mother's Day. She deserves a better son that that piece of s*** and I hope I can send light her way for it. I choose to do it not for his attention but because I care for her.

 

Life's complicated.

[RecentChange]

I suppose I am a dissenter.

 

Do you still talk to his parents? Do you think you would ever again? Will you ever be a part of their lives again? Does he have a new GF?

 

When does it end? Do you send cards for as long as you know they are alive, or do you stop when you get a new BF and send cards to his parents instead?

 

I think "oh look, we got a card from Timmy's ex girlfriend that we haven't talked to in years. I wonder if his girlfriend Stephanie will send a card" is a little weird.

[Arieswoman]

adilaurentis,

Persoanlly I wouldn't do it, but it's your decision.....