xaviercross Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I’ve been NC with my ex for the last three months. It was a pretty bad relationship, just an utter mind twist with bad communication, misunderstandings, assumptions, bad timing. We had a great connection though and great chemistry. I alternate between feeling angry at him and then blaming myself. I can’t seem to let go because I’m so confused whether he actually ever liked me and if I ruined it being oblivious. Anyway, this was overseas and I decided to go home to clear my head. Seems to have been the worst decision I could have made. Home is boring. I’m not working, used up my savings, I missed work opportunities back where I was living and now because I went home I closed a window of opportunity to get permanent residency (I needed to be there for a consecutive 12 months). I have stuffed my life up and a lot of it is because I keep getting into bad relationships and hoping that people will care about me and offer support. I just turned 30 and I walk around with no life plan. I was so sure about coming home and now I'm in this situation. I can’t believe I have done this as I’m so angry at myself and living in regret. I’m in utter limbo now. I don’t want to be here but I can’t go back. My self-worth was low before (I went through a series of three bad relationships and one bad boss) but now it’s even worse. I need to get a job and move forward but I can’t seem to make myself. I don’t know where I want to be. I have a flight booked back in a few weeks (it was meant to be a visit after I came home and sorted my life out) and I don’t know if I should take it. I can’t stay there because my visa is expiring. I feel like such a failure. Do I just need more time to get over this past relationship? It REALLY messed me up with so many questions. I don’t have any closure on it.
Nilfiry Posted December 21, 2017 Posted December 21, 2017 What you need is a goal in life to focus your thoughts instead of idling around and letting it wander all around. The more you think about a bad experience, the more it is just going to hurt you if you have not already accepted it, learned from it, and moved on. An unfocused mind is just going to invite trouble. So you should make a list of priorities to get your life back on track. It is never too late to restart. Once you move, the first thing you can do is find a place of residence. Then find a job to support yourself. Once you are financially stable, you can consider what to do from there. 1
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