Boyfriend discarded me so callously. Hurt

[Minniemouse11]

My boyfriend of 8 months (ex now) dumped me by TEXT 4 days ago. Before he decided to dump me he was ignoring my texts. I sent him a text saying if you care about me why would you ignore me knowing you're hurting me. He read that text and didn't reply. I sent him one last text the next day because he was still ignoring my other 2 texts. I said if you keep ignoring me I'm going to assume this is your way of breaking up with me. He eventually text back after ignoring me for days to say "we are finished". So cold and callous. He was planning on ignoring me so I would go away. He wasn't even going to tell me our relationship was over. I had to ask! I proceeded to block him on whatsapp and Facebook. When I checked that night he blocked me on instagram.

 

I'm still in shock that he could drop me so fast and easy. Not even a sorry for dumping you or sympathy. Nothing. He doesn't care. This is coming from a guy who said he loved me 2 days before hand. I only saw him 2 days ago and he was lovey dovey. Nothing different. We were planning on spending Christmas together, we had a 3 day trip booked for Christmas. I don't think he was even going to tell me that was cancelled. Luckily I didn't book it, he did. This guy seemed to love me, he held my hand when we were together, was affectionate, would hold my face in his hands and look in my eyes and tell me he loved me. I really thought he meant it, I felt like it was genuine. I feel so stupid right now. He must have lied about loving me the whole time.

 

We had future plans. He wanted me to move in with him in a few months, was planning on getting me a Christmas present. Wanted to travel with me. Went from all that to dumping me by text and never looking back. I won't even get a Merry Christmas text from him after we were planning on spending our first Christmas together. Since he dumped me 4 days ago I haven't unblocked him nor spoken to him. He hasn't tried to make contact. I don't think he will either. I saw in public the day after he dumped me, he wouldn't even look at me, didn't even aknowledge my existence. Nothing. I'm finding it hard to wrap my head around how he can treat me like nothing after the time we spent together. How can he not even miss me unless our whole relationship was a lie. I thought we loved each other and had a connection. He went from loving me to forgetting I exist in 2 DAYS.

 

I'm just looking for advice. I know I won't be contacting him but I'm hurting. I've never been treated like this by an ex in my entire life. I'm friends with all my exes but this one just looks like he hates my guts. I didn't cheat on him, I didn't lie, I was always there for him. Heck I even stayed in a hospital with him for days when he was sick, brought him medicine and food and made him tea when he had the flu and couldn't leave the house, helped him find an apartment when he had to move out and this is how he repays me and treats me!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

He went from loving me to forgetting I exist in 2 DAYS.

 

 

He hasn't forgotten you existed. He's forgotten how to behave like a decent human being.

 

Sorry he did this to you .

[stillafool]

OP, sorry this happened to you, why haven't you blocked him from contacting you? If I were you I'd be so angry it would override any hurt I'd feel about the break up. Don't cry over this Loser.

Edited December 19, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Minniemouse11]

OP, sorry this happened to you, why haven't you blocked him from contacting you? If I were you I'd be so angry it would override any hurt I'd feel about the break up. Don't cry over this Loser.

 

I have no idea if he found someone else or not but if he did he was still telling me he loved me right up until 2 days before that. I did block him on social media and his response was to block me too.

Edited December 19, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[HiCrunchy]

There was another poster on this site trying to find the right way to break up with their girlfriend so that it would minimize the hurt. That speaks that she is woman of integrity and strength.

 

 

This texting breakup bs speaks to his character too.

I wouldn't feel too bad about losing this one.This guy went the weakest way out. Shame is these are the ones that try to worm their way back in once they realize what asses they were and what a great gf/bf they lost.

Edited December 18, 2017 by HiCrunchy

[Minniemouse11]

There was another poster on this site trying to find the right way to break up with their girlfriend so that it would minimize the hurt. That speaks that she is woman of integrity and strength.

 

 

This texting breakup bs speaks to his character too.

I wouldn't feel too bad about losing this one.This guy went the weakest way out. Shame is these are the ones that try to worm their way back in once they realize what asses they were and what a great gf/bf they lost.

 

If he broke up with me in a dignified way I would not be half as hurt as I am now. He was planning on ghosting me! His "girlfriend". After telling me he loved me only that week. Now he has forgotten me already after 4 days broken up. I meant nothing to him.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

There was another poster on this site trying to find the right way to break up with their girlfriend so that it would minimize the hurt. That speaks that she is woman of integrity and strength.

 

 

This texting breakup bs speaks to his character too.

I wouldn't feel too bad about losing this one.This guy went the weakest way out. Shame is these are the ones that try to worm their way back in once they realize what asses they were and what a great gf/bf they lost.

 

That's exactly what I was thinking. OP, be prepared for this and decide now how you'll react.

[Minniemouse11]

That's exactly what I was thinking. OP, be prepared for this and decide now how you'll react.

 

I honestly don't believe he will contact me again. He just doesn't care. He won't even acknowledge I exist in public. He seems to be over the breakup and wants nothing to do with me. I'm just not used to being treated so cruelly by an ex. Every other ex I've had has wanted to stay friends and we still are friends to this day. They never cut me out and not spoke to me again. But this ex looks like it's going that way. I wouldn't even reply if he contacted me. It's the fact he wouldn't even try to see how I am or anything. I don't understand how someone can go from love to hate it seems in a few days.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I honestly don't believe he will contact me again. He just doesn't care. He won't even acknowledge I exist in public. He seems to be over the breakup and wants nothing to do with me. I'm just not used to being treated so cruelly by an ex. Every other ex I've had has wanted to stay friends and we still are friends to this day. They never cut me out and not spoke to me again. But this ex looks like it's going that way. I wouldn't even reply if he contacted me. It's the fact he wouldn't even try to see how I am or anything. I don't understand how someone can go from love to hate it seems in a few days.

 

We hear this all the time here. At least once a day someone makes a post that asks how the other person can just move on so quickly. The answer is, it just happens. Some people are jerks. Betrayal really hurts! .

[ByMyself01]

My boyfriend of 8 months (ex now) dumped me by TEXT 4 days ago. Before he decided to dump me he was ignoring my texts. I sent him a text saying if you care about me why would you ignore me knowing you're hurting me. He read that text and didn't reply. I sent him one last text the next day because he was still ignoring my other 2 texts. I said if you keep ignoring me I'm going to assume this is your way of breaking up with me. He eventually text back after ignoring me for days to say "we are finished". So cold and callous. He was planning on ignoring me so I would go away. He wasn't even going to tell me our relationship was over. I had to ask! I proceeded to block him on whatsapp and Facebook. When I checked that night he blocked me on instagram. {snip}

 

 

Sounds EXACTLY how my ex dumped me after spending the holiday together. It's either 1). He found someone else or 2). He's a commitment phobe. In my case, it was both but he still denies there's someone else but ended up running his mouth too much and told me he had drinks with a coworker.

Edited December 19, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
snipped ~T

[d0nnivain]

You are absolutely right. Your BF was callous. Dumping a LT GF by text is rude. While all BU's hurt, giving somebody the dignity of a face to face ending is simply polite & kind.

 

 

On one level you dodged a bullet. You can't spend your life with a guy who has no manners.

 

 

The small silver lining I wish for you is that his methodology spurs you to anger faster to speed up your healing from his decision.

[Minniemouse11]

You are absolutely right. Your BF was callous. Dumping a LT GF by text is rude. While all BU's hurt, giving somebody the dignity of a face to face ending is simply polite & kind.

 

 

On one level you dodged a bullet. You can't spend your life with a guy who has no manners.

 

 

The small silver lining I wish for you is that his methodology spurs you to anger faster to speed up your healing from his decision.

 

I saw him again today in public. He looked kind of surprised and nearly annoyed to see me. He wouldn't make eye contact or look at me. Literally turned away from me. He just acts uncomfortable around me. He's the one who dumped me yet he acts like I don't exist and hates me! I don't get it!

[Purepony]

Wow what a piece of crap you know what don’t focus your energy or time on this loser let them figure things out eventually he will he’ll probably apologize maybe He will even want to get back together but by then just tell him to F off !!

[primer]

I am sorry this is happening to you. He does not sound like a mentally stable person. You can do better.

[Minniemouse11]

Wow what a piece of crap you know what don’t focus your energy or time on this loser let them figure things out eventually he will he’ll probably apologize maybe He will even want to get back together but by then just tell him to F off !!

 

If he decides to text to apologise honestly I would just ignore it at this stage. I really thought he would at least say hi or sorry for the way he ended it! Something! But he is going out of his way to avoid me. Pretends not to even see me. It makes me so angry he can treat me like this and not care about my feelings. A decent human being would feel guilty but he really doesn't care.

[Minniemouse11]

I am sorry this is happening to you. He does not sound like a mentally stable person. You can do better.

 

Why do you think he's not mentally stable? Never really thought of that. He seems to be doing fine.

[primer]

Why do you think he's not mentally stable? Never really thought of that. He seems to be doing fine.

 

 

 

If he is all lovey dovey one day and cold and callous the next, he is not mentally stable - not in my books anyway.

[stillafool]

I saw him again today in public. He looked kind of surprised and nearly annoyed to see me. He wouldn't make eye contact or look at me. Literally turned away from me. He just acts uncomfortable around me. He's the one who dumped me yet he acts like I don't exist and hates me! I don't get it!

 

How do you keep running into him in public? You may want to change your route.

[Minniemouse11]

How do you keep running into him in public? You may want to change your route.

 

The town I live in is small. It's hard not to run into people. I would have to avoid everywhere if I didn't want to run into him!

[basil67]

Before he decided to dump me he was ignoring my texts. I sent him a text saying if you care about me why would you ignore me knowing you're hurting me. He read that text and didn't reply. I sent him one last text the next day because he was still ignoring my other 2 texts. I said if you keep ignoring me I'm going to assume this is your way of breaking up with me.

 

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and suggest there may have been two sides to this story.

 

He's not answered only two texts and you're telling him that it's a breakup if he doesn't answer. It sounds like you don't even know if his delay was because he was tired/ill/busy/whatever. Did you try calling him and asking "I haven't heard from you. I'm worried. Are you OK?"

 

Frankly, a person who sends aggressive dump threats over text has got a dumping over text coming their way.

[ExpatInItaly]

Wow, this is horrible. I am really sorry you're going through this, OP.

 

Did you see any sign of odd behaviour from him in the relationship? Hindsight is 20/20, of course, but looking back, can you think of any times when you thought something might be up with him?

 

It is awfully bizarre to flip a switch out of the blue. There is usually more to it, even if you haven't discovered what that is yet.

[Minniemouse11]

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and suggest there may have been two sides to this story.

 

He's not answered only two texts and you're telling him that it's a breakup if he doesn't answer. It sounds like you don't even know if his delay was because he was tired/ill/busy/whatever. Did you try calling him and asking "I haven't heard from you. I'm worried. Are you OK?"

 

Frankly, a person who sends aggressive dump threats over text has got a dumping over text coming their way.

 

Because he was online and read my texts. Was posting on social media but literally was just ignoring me. I don't think what I said was aggressive. He would not reply to any of my texts. I said if he doesn't reply I'll assume it's his way of breaking up with me which anyone would think? He was texting me everyday before this. And no I don't know what his delay was because I asked him and he ignored that too. But he was online the whole day.

Edited December 18, 2017 by Minniemouse11

[stillafool]

The town I live in is small. It's hard not to run into people. I would have to avoid everywhere if I didn't want to run into him!

 

I live in a tiny town also and still I'm able to avoid people. When I see someone I don't want to talk to I turn and walk in the other direction. I avoid places I know they may frequent.

[Minniemouse11]

I live in a tiny town also and still I'm able to avoid people. When I see someone I don't want to talk to I turn and walk in the other direction. I avoid places I know they may frequent.

 

Well I'm not going to run away if I see my ex. I don't think I should have to avoid him. He is doing that anyway because he won't even look at me or speak to me so it makes no difference.

[stillafool]

I'm suggesting avoiding him so you can get over him. It's like an extended No Calling.