1fish2fish Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I find it ironic that after being treated so poorly in a relationship, that I'm actually concerned about being rude. It's been 8 months since he dumped me via facebook and I got an email from him yesterday, which happened to be my birthday. It said that "For the rest of my life, whenever I see a picture of Princess Leia, I see you. You do look alike. Merry Christmas." I thought that I'd send an email reply, simply saying, "Merry Christmas to you and yours," but I just don't know if that's wise. I've deleted and blocked him everywhere (since day 1) but I'm unable to block emails - they just go into my spam folder. Thoughts?
PegNosePete Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Thoughts? My thoughts are that you need to stop reading your spam folder. And if you do have to look into it to find a missing email or something, and see his name, don't click it. No, do not respond to him. Why on earth would you even consider replying to someone who treated you so poorly??? 3
Author 1fish2fish Posted December 18, 2017 Author Posted December 18, 2017 lol - I check my spam folder to make sure nothing important went there by mistake before I empty. More to the point - I think I'm feeling torn because a lot of time has passed, and I've done some hard work on my self esteem and my hurt and anger is gone. Mostly. It's just interesting to me that I actually feel rude for not responding. Where did that come from?
PegNosePete Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I check my spam folder to make sure nothing important went there by mistake before I empty. Nothing important went there. It's just interesting to me that I actually feel rude for not responding. Where did that come from? It came form the fact that you're a decent human being who treats others how you'd like to be treated yourself. Unfortunately, he's not! 3
No_Go Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 First off: he reached out because he’s hoping to have sex with you. Wording doesn’t matter, usually that’s the deal. I’d feel rude not responding as well. Just say Merry Christmas and that’s that. No need to engage in a convo unless you want some ex sex as well. 2
Author 1fish2fish Posted December 18, 2017 Author Posted December 18, 2017 First off: he reached out because he’s hoping to have sex with you. Wording doesn’t matter, usually that’s the deal. I’d feel rude not responding as well. Just say Merry Christmas and that’s that. No need to engage in a convo unless you want some ex sex as well. Ew. No thank you!
HumanMachine Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 If you’re using hotmail (or live/outlook, whatever it’s called now), you can block contacts. 1
ilovemefirst Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 He is bored..dont respond. He doesnt deserve a response after he dumped you on fb..not even on the phone. FB! 2
Author 1fish2fish Posted December 18, 2017 Author Posted December 18, 2017 He is bored..dont respond. He doesnt deserve a response after he dumped you on fb..not even on the phone. FB! Bored...lonely...drunk...all of the above probably. Oh - and he's a 48 yo man/child. And he dumped me via fb. lol I'm feeling strong again reading these replies, so thank you! 2
dumbass2 Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 He's 48 and dumped you via Facebook. That is the definition of rude. You are not rude at all by not responding. That's good you are past the anger, but you do not owe him a response and it doesn't make you a rude person by not responding. It males you a mature person with boundaries that will not play games and give into an ex's need for an ego boost. Being dumped the way you were is the worst. Right below just being outright ghosted. 1
d0nnivain Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 No response required. This is a bread crumb at best. Use the power of the Force to help you continue NC 1
Author 1fish2fish Posted December 18, 2017 Author Posted December 18, 2017 Use the power of the Force to help you continue NC Ok, that made me laugh. Thank you. I will continue NC. 1
HumanMachine Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Did you purposely ignore my post about being able to block emails? Are you secretly hoping he continues contacting you?
Darien 76 Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Ugh, I read your post and the first thought that came to mind was "_ _ _ _ HIM!" I'm with the other loveshackers who advise you to ignore him. 1
Author 1fish2fish Posted December 20, 2017 Author Posted December 20, 2017 I want to thank everyone for encouraging me not to respond to the Addict's breadcrumb. I leaned on The Force for strength (ha ha) and did not wish him back a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, or even a Happy Monday. And I'm so glad I didn't. As it is, he's back in my mind daily, if not hourly, and I'm having to go down my mental list of what a dick he was to me so as to not glamorize our relationship. Holidays tend to do that, don't they? We all want the Hallmark Holiday movie. I am learning good impulse control on acting on my flaky emotions, so this was a good test. Thanks all for keeping me on the path of healing. This, too, shall pass.
Been Posted December 20, 2017 Posted December 20, 2017 See that's the only reason he contacted you- so he would be back in your thoughts. And worse he's checking to see if maybe the door is possibly open enough for a brief return. Don't engage in that. 1
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