1Jessie86 Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2 months. He's a great guy and I love the time I spend with him but there are little things that annoy me about him. They are: the way he scratches his nose while inhaling (it sounds like he has allergies and could use a tissue), and some of the facial expressions he makes while thinking (rolling his eyes around while cringing his face and such). They are little stupid things I know. I'm sure there are little things about me that annoys him too. Is this normal in a relationship? Should they be addressed? There's no such thing as a perfect partner, I know. I also realize that the positives outweigh the negatives big time.
Jdoublenn Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I won't claim to be an expert on 'normal', but I do know my parents would say yes to your question, and they're going 33years strong. They have things that annoy each other but thats the small picture. The big picture is they love each other and their family (us 4 kids) and are willing to work through the real issues and stick it out together. 2
SevenCity Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 The bigger issues is how you are focusing on his flaws only two months in. Seems you are looking for reasons not to like him. 13
carhill Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Ha, ha, just wait until you get married. Don't let him near the washing machine Yes, it's normal. We're all different and we're all imperfect. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Of course it's normal, but if there comes a time that you are annoyed with the BIG things, those little things are going to become just that much more annoying.
carhill Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 If your default is: He's a great guy and I love the time I spend with him The little annoyances, should your interaction stand the test of time, have a very good chance of being the endearing unique bits of each other you cherish decades down the road. Would you want someone you loved and whom you presumed loved you scrutinizing the minutiae of your mannerisms and behaviors? Probably not. The big stuff, compatibility stuff, yeah, sure, pay attention to that. IMO don't sweat the small stuff.
healing light Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Does he have a facial tic or something? Are you still determining if you're attracted to him? I'm not sure those things should bug you too much two months in. I'm about 3-4 months into a relationship and I don't feel that way about the habits of my bf yet. I thought those little annoyances come down the road when you're having bigger problems. However, I used to have a friend who was into me who had a lot of odd quirks. He would grimace a lot, stick his tongue out in conversation, make sound effects tailgating a car in front of him while moving his hands to pretend like he had a magic wand ability to make the person in front of him go faster, etc. And that just annoyed the **** out of me over time. I'm assuming in part because I was never attracted to him.
mortensorchid Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 There are a lot of little things about a person that can bug you. But you have to look past them and realize that. COntrary to popular believe I think we are being taught intolerance rather than tolerance - in that it's all about me, if it's not perfect change it, the grass is greener, etc. You may as well as what the meaning of life is while you're at it. But I can tell you that with an LTR (as in all kinds of LTRs - love, marriage, friendship, working relationships, family, sibling, etc.) that you have to laugh as much as you can with and at each other. The key is finding another who feels the same way.
SunnySide0418 Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I think it's ok as long as it doesn't turn you off to him.
BaileyB Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Anybody who is in a long term relationship will tell you that there are any number of inns that their partner does that annoy them... The thing is, if he is the right person for you, it won't matter because there will be so many other things about him that you love,.
act00 Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 To be really, really annoyed by little things so early on makes me feel like there's a bigger issue of compatibility overall. Yes, it is normal that your partner may have some annoying little habits, but if they really crawl under your skin, it's possible it's indicative of something else. Some things can be pointed out and changed - blow your nose - but others, they are what they are. I guess I would just continue to see how things go, OP. As long as these quirks aren't turning you off to him, it should be fine, maybe even less bothersome to you. 6
d0nnivain Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Here it's a problem because you are noticing these things & they bother you too early. Everybody has quirks but in the HM stage most people can't see those flaws yet or they think they are cute. That can be a problem when the rise colored glasses come off. But if you are this sensitive to them already, that doesn't bode well for your ability to compromise or your open heartedness. 1
Gaeta Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 No, I don't think it's normal to be annoyed this early in the relationship. I think your attraction is slowly fading which is normal, not many relationships go past the 3 month mark. I have been dating my bf for 2 years and I cannot find 1 thing that annoys me. 3
grays Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I also think its too early to feel that kind of irritation. Ive been seeing a guy for almost 4 months and I am so blissed out by him that he could probably be doing insanely annoying things and I would give them a positive spin. I did have those little annoyances with my ex-h, but I think they took years to develop. And then at some point I realized that I was finding him super annoying and I was building up resentments and I decided that I loved him and didn't want to feel that way or treat him that way and I let go of it. If you decide to stay with him, I think it's worth trying to let go of those things. Think of it as seeing him generously. 2
d0nnivain Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I hate the way my husband does laundry but I certainly did know that 2 months in.
heavenonearth Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 I have been with my partner for 6 months now, and even though there are a few things that annoy me about him, I did not notice them as early as 2 months in. And they certainly aren't little mannerisms like nose-scratching... I am talking more character flaws. In the end you need to weigh if your attraction and love for him is stronger than the things that annoy you. Right now, it seems that you're annoyance with his mannerisms is weighing much stronger than your attraction for him. Personally, it would not bother me how someone scratches their nose. However, something that I would find rather bothersome are incompetencies. I once dated a guy who couldn't even buy the right washing liquid at the store if I showed him a picture of it... or he would always forget to lock the door or leave windows open when he leaves the house. Stuff like that, that's what should bother you. Not the way someone scratches their nose. 1
RecentChange Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 Count me in agreement with others. First, no one is perfect, expecting someone to be perfect for you in every single way is totally unreasonable. All people in relationships find little things that their partner does annoying. But most importantly? Most are too blinded by infactuation, love etc at the early stages of a relationship to notice such things, and especially to the level that they think that they might need "addressed". After 16 years, sure, I find some of my husbands habits annoying, and I am sure I annoy him with some things as well - but its water off a ducks back stuff. Its "little stuff" the stuff you aren't supposed to sweat, and I was absolutely blind to them early on.... probably didn't get properly annoyed until we were together for a few years And back to "addressing" don't tell him you don't like the way he breathes. If anything needs to be addressed, its your own criticism. I agree with others - I think you are losing attraction and noticing stupid things. 4
Recommended Posts