BoatingBabe Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 ...tried to get you jealous with thier wife AFTER you ended it? 2 days after I called it quits on the EA, he brought his wife to work to introduce her to everyone. It was before I got in, but he knew it would get back to me. This is after months of him telling me, and anyone else who would listen, that he wants a divorce from her. This is just freaking me out why he'd do this....it only makes me feel right for ending it and took away any pity I had on him for walking around like a sad zombie. Does he think this tactic would work on getting me back, or did he want the last laugh?
newbby Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 thats just insane. the more you leave him alone, the more you will see desperate acts like this.
Author BoatingBabe Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 LOL You may be right Newby...maybe it was a desperate act to pull on my heart strings....But it shocked me.. Little does he know, it only backfired on him...I was contemplating IM'ing him to try to make nice nice to hold on to some sort of friendship...but after he pulled that stunt....I'm just going to pretend he's not even there should I run into him. MM are so stupid....lol
newbby Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 lol, my xmm showed up 3 times at my door one day. on the first two times i was just polite, on the last time i just stared at him in disbelief. i could see his brain working overtime to try to think of something to say. in the end he asked me what i had had for lunch!
Author BoatingBabe Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 That is still not as vindictive as what mine did. It only shows how immature he is and how "dirty" he fights. He better change is approach real fast (if he wants me to be civil to him) as he'll soon see the jealous card never has and never will work on me.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Does he think this tactic would work on getting me back, or did he want the last laugh? Both.
L4L Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 maybe his wife was suspicious and he brought her to work to prove there was mothing to be suspicious of, maybe this had nothing at all to do with you at that point. I do think this points out one aspect though, never beleive when they say they want or are divorcing their wives. Ask to see the paper work from the divorce before getting involved at all. If he really wanted a divorce he wouldnt feel the need to prove anything to her.
Author BoatingBabe Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia Both. How can it be both, it's either a total blow off or F off, I still have my wife type thing....or it's a desperate attempt to try to get me back using the jealousy card. It's going on 2 weeks, and we've had no conversation since those emails, practically no eye contact either.
johan Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Why read anything into it at all? So he brought her to the office. Men do that all the time. It might have had something to do with you, or maybe it didn't. Either way, how relevant is it? You spend a lot of time trying to figure him out, which tells me your emotions are still involved. Let him do whatever it is he wants and don't assume any of it means anything at all to you. You may not be the center of his universe.
Author BoatingBabe Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by johan which tells me your emotions are still involved. Wow, you're a genius, yes, my emotions are still involved.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Its both, because the guy is torn between wanting to piss you off and wanting to you to want him back. He wants to do both at the same time, so he does something like parade his wife around. Doing so kills a couple of birds with one stone. Unfortunately, the bird he wasn't hoping to kill will be the W because she will no doubt notice that everyone in the office's behavior is "off" or "strange" - because everyone in the office knows he was trying to get in your pants so to speak. She is no doubt paying closer attention to the red flags that have already been flying high at home (because you know his behavior at home was bound to have changed as he got more involved with you, and no doubt your name has come up a few times). Maybe someone who has it in for you at the office will feel sorry for her and anonymously tip her off (if it hasn't happened already). Who knows? The person getting played here might well be your MM and the W is simply circling in for the kill as she gathers up more info. If that is the case, you may want to be darned sure you have your bases covered and have a resume ready because if she is closing in - she will make sure you suffer too, and your job is likely one of the things that is going to go when she blows the whistle to the top guys (BS's are heavily encouraged to expose workplace affairs and report all involved parties). Just play it safe, BB and cover your bases well. You know how MM operates, but the X-factor here is the W - and an OW (or even XOW) should never, ever underestimate what a BS can and will do when they start catching on.
Author BoatingBabe Posted August 23, 2005 Author Posted August 23, 2005 LB, I understand what you're saying...but truth is he and I never crossed the line to make it a full-fledged affair. I won't be penalized at my job because a guy has a crush on me. I am not worried about that at all. I have a secure position here. I told him long before we developed the friendship that I would never be involved with a married man, I said that to his face so many times I've lost count...he continued to pursue me and took his chances, hoping I'd eventually succumb to his charm and give in. Well, he lost that bet, because as soon as we started seeing eachother outside of work, it freaked me out.....and that led me to cut all ties with him. I am sure he is acting different at home, as he is acting differnt at work since our "break up". And perhaps you're right, perhaps she came on her own hoping to sniff something out....I don't really know. All I know is I thought the ending would be so much easier than it is because I kept telling myself it's only cerebral, no touching, no romance....yet, it's much harder than I thought. This scares me because should he decide to step up his game after he gets over his hurt, then I might not be as strong as I have been...My emotions have only intensified since this ended, I realize I miss his visits....I can only imagine the same has happened to him, being his emotions were always larger than mine to begin with in all this. I only hope I can outlast him. The fact that he is as stubborn as I will only be to my advantage now.
johan Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by BoatingBabe Wow, you're a genius, yes, my emotions are still involved. Well, I wouldn't say "genius". But yeah, I'm up there.
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