Merin Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 So please explain this to me.. ya know so it makes some sense and I'm not so pissed Yesterday I went to motocross with my Boyfriend... all good to go we had a really good time... but at one point we had gone back down to sit in my car for awhile because it was raining and the track was to wet... well when we got back down to my car after the race we discovered my Boyfriend had left the keys to my car in the ignition with the engine running for over an hour BUT I wasn't pissed, told him no worries the car was still there, nothing missing so okay... We drive back to his house and he isn't feeling well, so I got all our crap out of my car by myself and then had to get going to get my Wee Peeps... kissed him bye and left. Last night after I had been home for a few hours my Boyfriend calls me and says "Where are my cigarettes?" I told him I didn't know, he asked if I had brought them in when I unloaded the car, I said I didn't remember seeing them and I didn't see them in my car when I had got home... he's annoyed I can tell, he says okay whatever, blah blah and have a good night. He text me about 5 minutes later and says "You f'cking suck, where are my cigarettes?" I'm like WTF! So I called him AGAIN and told him I don't know where they are, that maybe they had fell in the car or got placed somewhere in the house.. he says he can't find them... I'm like Okay, well I'm sorry I don't know where they are... we hang up... then he text me again and says "You f'cking suck!" Now I'm getting pissed....I text him back said IF they are still in my car, sorry, not like I would do that on purpose.. so then he calls me and says "Tell me you have them!" I said "I don't..." then he gets pissed says whatever, have a good night Merin and hangs up on me WTF is wrong with him? Why would I want his cigarettes... why would I take them on purpose... And he's for real mad.... he's not speaking to me now.... Good thing I didn't act like a f'cktard over MY freakin car being left running for over an hour! Ugh!
alphamale Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by Merin WTF is wrong with him? nothing...he's making a mountain out of a molehill on purpose just to show you how "bad" he is. this is typical bad boy behaviour. I've done it myself also. You know....just get pissed off for no reason just for sake of getting pissed off. I wouldn't take it personal...
Author Merin Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale nothing...he's making a mountain out of a molehill on purpose just to show you how "bad" he is. this is typical bad boy behaviour. I've done it myself also. You know....just get pissed off for no reason just for sake of getting pissed off. I wouldn't take it personal... OMG Serious? LOL Why would a person do that?
Art_Critic Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 How drunk was he ? Kinda sounds like he has a little resentment building up... Look out... And Merin.. Don't blow it off as okay like Alpha says to .. Something is up .. even if it is a red flag
JS17 Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 OMG, was he drunk? Whatever, he shouldn't tell you that you fvking suck! Yeah, he's making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe he's taking out some misplaced frustration. He'll get over it and realize he's been a tard. since he's male, he probably won't admit that he's wrong.
ThumbingMyWay Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by Merin ... then he text me again and says "You f'cking suck!" And he's for real mad.... he's not speaking to me now.... I wouldnt stand for that kind of talk.....if my wife/gf told me I f***ing suck over cigs, I would imagine there is something else bothering him....just a guess, but he vents the frustration over cigs, which to you makes NO sence what so ever....you he's just being an assclown and dont call him back either....play his game, let him come to you. and ya know Merin, these bad boy types are over rated.....you sould find a nice guy
Outcast Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 I don't buy Alpha's explanation. I've read some of your stuff. This guy has shown unstable tendencies before. He seems to specialize in spur-of-the-moment anger episodes with you as the focus. I consider this sort of behaviour as red flag territory. Any sort of unreasonable anger is a bad sign that there's something unpleasant lurking beneath IMHO.
Author Merin Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by Art_Critic How drunk was he ? Kinda sounds like he has a little resentment building up... Look out... And Merin.. Don't blow it off as okay like Alpha says to .. Something is up .. even if it is a red flag He wasn't drunk... drinking yeah, but I don't think drunk. I know he was tired when we got home and he was pissed because he still had to cook dinner for his kids before he got to go to bed himself... which was another reason he was mad about his cigarettes I guess, because he would have to take his kids with him to the store to buy more and it was late.... I don't know.... he was fine, happy and good to go all weekend with me UNTIL the cigarette thing....
quankanne Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 sounds like he freaked when he realized he misplaced his last pack or something. My darling husband will do that from time to time, just gets into a complete hissy fit mode when he's running low and doesn't have money to buy more, or he's down to his last pack and we're on the road to nowhere, with no stores around for miles. He's pretty much a bear until he gets hold of more smokes, and will apologize for his rudeness. I'm sure your guy will do the same. just sweetly ask if he was able to fix his craving, then tell him that while you understand the nicotine fit, you expect him to be decent about it, and not act like a bung-hole over something you have no control over. my guess is that they get so fixated on the fact that there are no cigarettes, they flip out and don't realize just how awful they're being.
Author Merin Posted August 22, 2005 Author Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 OMG, was he drunk? Whatever, he shouldn't tell you that you fvking suck! Yeah, he's making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe he's taking out some misplaced frustration. He'll get over it and realize he's been a tard. since he's male, he probably won't admit that he's wrong. It's rare for my BF to say he was wrong about anything... LOL damn Originally posted by ThumbingMyWay I wouldnt stand for that kind of talk.....if my wife/gf told me I f***ing suck over cigs, I would imagine there is something else bothering him....just a guess, but he vents the frustration over cigs, which to you makes NO sence what so ever....you he's just being an assclown and dont call him back either....play his game, let him come to you. and ya know Merin, these bad boy types are over rated.....you sould find a nice guy I don't set out looking for this... I text him this morning, told him I had no idea why he was mad... but yeah he isn't speaking to me. Originally posted by Outcast I don't buy Alpha's explanation. I've read some of your stuff. This guy has shown unstable tendencies before. He seems to specialize in spur-of-the-moment anger episodes with you as the focus. I consider this sort of behaviour as red flag territory. Any sort of unreasonable anger is a bad sign that there's something unpleasant lurking beneath IMHO. Honestly I was taken back last night as the weekend had been fine and I for real couldn't imagine him getting so pissed off over some cigarettes... at first I thought he was kidding... boggles my mind. Originally posted by quankanne sounds like he freak when he realized he misplaced his last pack or something. My darling husband will do that from time to time, just gets into a complete hissy fit mode when he's running low and doesn't have money to buy more, or he's down to his last pack and we're on the road to nowhere, with no stores around for miles. He's pretty much a bear until he gets hold of more smokes, and will apologize for his rudeness. I'm sure your guy will do the same. just sweetly ask if he was able to fix his craving, then tell him that while you understand the nicotine fit, you expect him to be decent about it, and not act like a bung-hole over something you have no control over. my guess is that they get so fixated on the fact that there are no cigarettes, they flip out and don't realize just how awful they're being. Thanks Quankanne... I haven't heard from him at all, he isn't speaking to me. Amazing that I really didn't do anything wrong here, but wow he has turned this around on me like I've just committed a henious crime
ThumbingMyWay Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I know he was tired when we got home and he was pissed because he still had to cook dinner for his kids before he got to go to bed himself... which was another reason he was mad about his cigarettes I guess, because he would have to take his kids with him to the store to buy more and it was late.... its not you.....its pent up frustration. Tired, had to make dinner, had no cigs....wanted some, but didnt want to be that "guy" that drags his kids to the gas station @ 9:30 at night to buy his habit.... SOOO.....he lets his frustration out on the closest thing to him which is YOU.
Outcast Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 haven't heard from him at all, he isn't speaking to me. Amazing that I really didn't do anything wrong here, but wow he has turned this around on me like I've just committed a henious crime This is the point. I'm guessing Quankanne's husband doesn't give her the cold shoulder for hours after the fact. It's the next morning and this guy's still sulking There's nothing attractive at all about this, Alpha. It's childish and stupid behaviour and should be beneath a grown man.
alphamale Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by quankanne sounds like he freak when he realized he misplaced his last pack or something. My darling husband will do that from time to time, just gets into a complete hissy fit mode when he's running low and doesn't have money to buy more, or he's down to his last pack and we're on the road to nowhere, with no stores around for miles. He's pretty much a bear until he gets hold of more smokes, and will apologize for his rudeness. I'm sure your guy will do the same. well, you know that cigs are not cheap these days. I'm paying like $5 per pack here in Detroit.
Art_Critic Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale well, you know that cigs are not cheap these days. I'm paying like $5 per pack here in Detroit. how true.. You pay to play.. Still doesn't mean that he should raise hell with merin because he doesn't have his cigs.. If you lose a pack Alpha do you start calling people names and tell them they are lying or do you go get another pack ?
Miche789504 Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Why didn't he just go buy another pack? But then again that would be the easy thing to do!
alphamale Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by Art_Critic Still doesn't mean that he should raise hell with merin because he doesn't have his cigs.. If you lose a pack Alpha do you start calling people names and tell them they are lying or do you go get another pack ? but this is the way he is, he is a typical bad boy and I guess that is what MERIN is attracted to. this was the same dude who caused all that trouble on their trip to mexico. if he wasn't like this then she wouldn't be with him....
Art_Critic Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale but this is the way he is, he is a typical bad boy and I guess that is what MERIN is attracted to. this was the same dude who caused all that trouble on their trip to mexico. if he wasn't like this then she wouldn't be with him.... Okay.. I see your point ..
lindya Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Kinda sounds like he has a little resentment building up... Look out... And Merin.. Don't blow it off as okay like Alpha says to .. Something is up .. even if it is a red flag I agree. And being told that it isn't personal, doesn't make it any less stressful, upsetting and unpleasant when you're the one getting a headache from that kind of temper tantrum. I hope you manage to have a talk with him, without receiving more abuse. Abusive behaviour isn't something that you should have to accept as "nothing personal" and learn to adapt to.
Outcast Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Yes, and women who keep making excuses for and accepting this 'bad boy' behaviour always come to grief. Some stay and take it for a long time before they toss the jerks over. Others decide much sooner that life is too short to have to deal with someone who hasn't grown up. After all, the salient point about being a 'bad boy' is the 'boy'. It's not the way a grownup behaves. But some very nurturng women seem to be attracted to these children in adult bodies, unfortunately for them.
JS17 Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Alpha - get over this bad boy BS. It doesn't ALWAYS boil down to "women are attracted to bad boys". Merin - I'm certainly no expert but I see it two ways....you've talked about his being afraid of commitment before so maybe this is an indicator of something bigger like the beginning of him checking out emotionally. OR, he's just taking out bad day frustrations on you. Personally I think this is the case but you know the relationship far better than I so maybe consider this a red flag. I would also say that I would have put up more of a fight with him and wouldn't have stood for it but the fact is that I've been guilty of taking crap like this from boyfriends in the past. My friends are always suprised, they say that I don't take crap from anyone....unless I've slept with them Maybe you're the same way?
JS17 Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast Yes, and women who keep making excuses for and accepting this 'bad boy' behaviour always come to grief. Some stay and take it for a long time before they toss the jerks over. Others decide much sooner that life is too short to have to deal with someone who hasn't grown up. Couldn't have said it better myself!!!
JPMorgan Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 I'm still trying to get past leaving the car running for an hour! How does that happen! In gas alone that had to cost a heck of a lot more than a pack of smokes! Did he apologize profusly for that and offer to pay for the wasted gas? Let him cool off by himself and he'll call you when he's ready---but maybe you won't be ready to talk with him!
alphamale Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 Alpha - get over this bad boy BS. It doesn't ALWAYS boil down to "women are attracted to bad boys". sure it does JS17. Do you know their history. Well, a number of months ago they both went to mexico on a trip and got in some huge fight over something and then came home and she swore she was gonna dump this "assclown". So like months later she's still with him and totally in love and all that krap. And you tell me, JS17, that women don't like the bad dudes. Its all about the bad dudes. The more a man mistreats a woman the more she falls in love. That s the way it is. Accept it and move on...
Mz. Pixie Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Hey, quit picking on Merin I have to say tho, Merin, it does sound like he's had a period of peace and he's about to kick up or something. You didn't do anything, don't try to contact him. He is acting like a assclown and he knows it, he can't possibly be that daft.
Outcast Posted August 22, 2005 Posted August 22, 2005 Alpha, it's not that they like these morons BECAUSE they are 'bad'. It's that they fall for these idiots for other reasons and put up with the stupidity because of the other reasons. For a while.
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