When is no Christmas gift okay (unique circumstances)?

[nospam99]

I have been OLD messaging and emailing a woman for about six weeks. Although we live in the same city, she was out of town until this week. Since her return, we've spoken on the phone but have not yet met face-to-face. All communication has been friendly and open both ways.

 

Christmas is coming up. Right now I have no plans to give her a present. Her life is very hectic between now and Christmas and the best guess she has for a first real meeting is some time next week. We left it that she would let me know if and when there was a good time for a first meeting before Christmas. (Yes, I know she might be stringing me along. I give people, especially potential dating partners, plenty of slack. She has also scored lots of 'decent human being' points in the course of our exchanges.)

 

Hypothetically and VERY (winning the lottery) unlikely, if she phoned me this evening, we met tomorrow, and had a couple of dates before Christmas, I would think giving her a small gift would be appropriate. At the other end of the scale, meeting next week and not having time to schedule a date (I don't count meeting an OLD friend the first time as being a date) or not meeting at all before Christmas, I'd still think it okay to not give her a gift.

 

Have I got this right so far? What would be a 'threshold event' where, having it occur, a gift would be expected?

[d0nnivain]

I don't think a gift is expected for somebody you are just meeting.

 

 

I went on my 1st OLD date days before a birthday & the guy bought me a rose because it was my birthday. I thought it was nice not over the top. There were all sorts of other problems with that date / guy but he got that part right.

 

 

That said, I enjoy giving gifts. If you wanted to get her something just for the joy of the season, keep it under $10. I'm literally thinking a box of Hershey's pot 'o gold chocolates ($5.99 at Walmart / the grocery store); the little 4 box of Godiva's (they do an 8 piece Santa box for $10, but that is bordering on too much); a holiday themed lottery ticket; a tiny pointsetta ($3.99 at my Home Depot); a small candle with a snowman, a stuffed reindeer . . .very tchotchke. I'm harkening this back to the days when you were courting as a younger man.

 

 

Some people will tell you don't waste your money. Younger women especially will be freaked out by such a gesture.

 

 

Do what feels right & true to you.

[No_Go]

I think Christmas gift of any kind will be too much. Gifts too early can be easily misinterpreted, and are more of a turn off than turn on.

 

If you absolutely have to give her something- D0n’s suggestions are pretty good.

[somanymistakes]

Yeah, you don't know each other well enough for a real gifty gift but little chocolates that say "I'm thinking of you" are nice without being pushy.

[elaine567]

It is Christmas so a small chocolatey gift would be a nice touch.

She is someone you have been talking to for 6 weeks, so she merits some token of the festive season. If you were meeting her in the middle of January I would probably not recommend a gift then, unless she was Scottish and you were meeting her on the 25th...

[Gaeta]

No, nothing.

 

Two years ago I met my bf and started dating on Dec 8th and we may have had 3-4 dates before xmas, we did not offer each other any present. He called me to wish me Merry Xmas on Xmas Day.

[edgygirl]

Also make sure she even celebrates it. I'm Jewish and we do not, so it would be weird to get a gift