Meeting my ex girlfriend of 5 years tomorrow for possibly the last time, need .

[Machan]

Long story short, she broke up w me 3 months ago and we’ve been on LC for most of the time, mostly apartment related logistics. We lived together for 3 years, she left 3 months ago and I’m moving out tomorrow, so we’re supposed to meet the landlord to finalize some details.

 

I’ve tried to get her back but it didn’t work, she’s not seeing anyone and neither am i. There was no cheating involved in our breakup, mainly lots of fighting.

As far as I understand, she is afraid to get back together because she believes our fighting will continue. The few times we have spoken about relationship since the breakup, mainly she is the one who brings it up, she asks me questions like “how could you yell and say these horrible words after i told it was hurting me” etc. And I don’t think that any answer I gave her thus far satisfied her.

I saw her today, she came to take some of her stuff. At least I’ve made her laugh a little, but she also had tears..

 

Honestly have no idea how I should even act, should i be cold and pretend i’m moving on? Should i try and answer her questions in a different way? I’m honestly stuck, and obviously devastated beyond words.

Will love to hear your opinions!

[browzer]

Just be yourself, why act any different?

 

You have nothing to prove, she isn't interested in getting back together for what sounds like a good reason- nothing but fighting and you said some pretty bad stuff.

 

Hopefully you've addressed your anger management issues so they don't come back to haunt you in the next relationship.

[Machan]

Not that I have to prove something, but it feels like she has some unanswered question.

And also, if I'll be myself I'll crying my eyes out, I don't want to remember me that way.

 

Thanks for your reply.

Anyone else?

[d0nnivain]

You two have known each for 5 years & lived together for 3. Therefore, you are each probably the world's foremost leading authorities on each other. You know best how to interact with each other; we don't.

 

Be yourself. Talk to each other. At the very least be cordial, even if you can't be loving. Politeness matters & whatever is wrong is none of the landlord's business.

 

Do you want to reconcile? If so then you better search your soul & come up with 1) reasons why you did & said what you did & 2) a real plan to avoid doing it again.

 

Think about why you were fighting. Are those points of contention correctable? If not, just leave it be. You both may have outgrown the relationship. It happens.