No_Go Posted December 15, 2017 Posted December 15, 2017 I tend to do very rigorous prescreening so there are rarely surprises in either direction. If one is taking the few quality dates approach: more homework is needed before meeting up. Usually people reveal themselves pretty well (style, demeanor) if few days of messaging. Physical: I don't even rely on pictures, mainly on descriptive stats (height/weight/eye color/dress style and a peak at facial picture is more than enough at least to me to determine attraction). One can say few dates approach will be slower: well, depends on what you expect. If it is to meet people sooner: sure. But to meet someone you really like - I think the time spent will be about the same. While I agree with this, you have no idea how a date will turn out until you are on it. I've been on terrible dates with women who were perfect on paper and excellent dates with women who were only "acceptable" on paper.I'd say that quantity leads to quality. When I increased my frequency of dates, I evaluated more women within a shorter period of time. Of course, I met more incompatible women, but I met compatible women too. If I had limited myself, I would not have met some of those compatible women.
Author Lorenza Posted December 15, 2017 Author Posted December 15, 2017 Went on another date today, haha! It wasn't bad, good conversation and potentially a suitable guy, just not sure if he liked me, as I'm really bad at determining it. He traveled a long way to meet me, since I asked him if it's possible to meet close to my home (by suggesting that I had no idea how far away he lives, felt a little bit uneasy to find out he traveled for 2 hours). Also, he said a pretty strange thing when we were parting - "You have my number, if you want to meet up again just let me know". Not sure what he means. There's very little chance I'm gonna contact him by myself and suggest another date, as I usually expect guys to be the initiators at least two times, to make sure there's enough interest from their side.
No_Go Posted December 15, 2017 Posted December 15, 2017 Went on another date today, haha! It wasn't bad, good conversation and potentially a suitable guy, just not sure if he liked me, as I'm really bad at determining it. He traveled a long way to meet me, since I asked him if it's possible to meet close to my home (by suggesting that I had no idea how far away he lives, felt a little bit uneasy to find out he traveled for 2 hours). Also, he said a pretty strange thing when we were parting - "You have my number, if you want to meet up again just let me know". Not sure what he means. There's very little chance I'm gonna contact him by myself and suggest another date, as I usually expect guys to be the initiators at least two times, to make sure there's enough interest from their side. You’re on fire So many dates The way how he ended the date: the ball is in your court. It is very unlikely he’ll ask you out again, he made it clear he expects the initiative from you.
Author Lorenza Posted December 15, 2017 Author Posted December 15, 2017 I tend to do very rigorous prescreening so there are rarely surprises in either direction. If one is taking the few quality dates approach: more homework is needed before meeting up. Usually people reveal themselves pretty well (style, demeanor) if few days of messaging. Physical: I don't even rely on pictures, mainly on descriptive stats (height/weight/eye color/dress style and a peak at facial picture is more than enough at least to me to determine attraction). One can say few dates approach will be slower: well, depends on what you expect. If it is to meet people sooner: sure. But to meet someone you really like - I think the time spent will be about the same. I hate messaging and think that it reveals very little about the person. Out of those 14 (now 15) dates, the ones who were men of few words were the most interesting ones. Some of them gave a completely false image of themselves. Like for example the guy who stuttered out of nervousness and couldn't even look me in the eye during out date - I could have sworn he's a confident, charismatic person judging by his texts and photos. The guy who stood me up seemed like a nice and warm-hearted person in chat. In my experience - the better a man is at writing interesting, thought provoking, heartfelt, legthy texts, the less reliable and stable he is as a person. My exes were all amazing texters and yet they were completely f up, when it came to maintaining a relationship. The best ones were always the ones who didn't waste time on chatting and went straight to the point. I could see that they were relationship materials, but it maybe didn't work out for other reasons (me not being ready and being scared of a possibility of a normal, healthy relationship could be one of them)
Author Lorenza Posted December 15, 2017 Author Posted December 15, 2017 Also, a question for guys - would you be disappointed if a woman came to a date with short hair, while her hair is super long in her profile photos? I had hair almost down to my waste which I cut to a short bob a few days ago. Pictures on my profile are done by a professional photographer earlier this year and obviously I didn't have time to get a new photoshoot so fast not even any quality selfies, as my phone camera is awful and I've only taken a few low quality selfies in bad lighting. I've warned the guy I met today told him I just cut my hair so he knew what to expect. But I get a feeling it might feel misleading anyway. Any opinions?
Gaeta Posted December 16, 2017 Posted December 16, 2017 Don't let it get to you, I had 200 first meeting in 3 years before meeting my bf and it didn't kill me. I have enough stories to fill a book. My daughter who's 30 has almost broken my first-date-record and looks like finally she met someone serious. Send a picture of your new hair to your date. 1
No_Go Posted December 16, 2017 Posted December 16, 2017 What I'll think is misleading is seeing only professional photoshoot photos in someone's profile... Send them a selfie highlighting the new hair cut. Or at least describe it in words. Also, a question for guys - would you be disappointed if a woman came to a date with short hair, while her hair is super long in her profile photos? I had hair almost down to my waste which I cut to a short bob a few days ago. Pictures on my profile are done by a professional photographer earlier this year and obviously I didn't have time to get a new photoshoot so fast not even any quality selfies, as my phone camera is awful and I've only taken a few low quality selfies in bad lighting. I've warned the guy I met today told him I just cut my hair so he knew what to expect. But I get a feeling it might feel misleading anyway. Any opinions?
No_Go Posted December 16, 2017 Posted December 16, 2017 I hate messaging and think that it reveals very little about the person. Out of those 14 (now 15) dates, the ones who were men of few words were the most interesting ones. Some of them gave a completely false image of themselves. Like for example the guy who stuttered out of nervousness and couldn't even look me in the eye during out date - I could have sworn he's a confident, charismatic person judging by his texts and photos. The guy who stood me up seemed like a nice and warm-hearted person in chat. In my experience - the better a man is at writing interesting, thought provoking, heartfelt, legthy texts, the less reliable and stable he is as a person. My exes were all amazing texters and yet they were completely f up, when it came to maintaining a relationship. The best ones were always the ones who didn't waste time on chatting and went straight to the point. I could see that they were relationship materials, but it maybe didn't work out for other reasons (me not being ready and being scared of a possibility of a normal, healthy relationship could be one of them) Well you're either scared of the possibility of normal, healthy relationship (what 'dating gurus' will try to convince you, making you feel inadequate) or just the guys were so boring (as exemplified by their messaging style) that it was soul crushing to keep dating them :lmao:. Seriously whatever floats your boat - I'm just saying what worked for me (I never went past 3-4 first dates to landing on a relationship. Out of 12 first dates: 3 LTRs; I could have even got the ratio down).
Author Lorenza Posted December 18, 2017 Author Posted December 18, 2017 None of us reached out after all. I think he would have written something if he was into me. Otherwise it's too weird to just leave the ball entirely in my court. Most guys write at least a short "it was nice to meet you" message after the date, but this one didn't reach out at all. Oh well
Negan Posted December 18, 2017 Posted December 18, 2017 None of us reached out after all. I think he would have written something if he was into me. Otherwise it's too weird to just leave the ball entirely in my court. Most guys write at least a short "it was nice to meet you" message after the date, but this one didn't reach out at all. Oh well Even meeting someone offline is daunting. A woman whom I met and I was dating took me to a wedding only to sleep with someone else after the reception. I made a thread on it. I have found that online dating has desensitized the dating process and made it more of a business transaction.
Author Lorenza Posted December 19, 2017 Author Posted December 19, 2017 Even meeting someone offline is daunting. A woman whom I met and I was dating took me to a wedding only to sleep with someone else after the reception. I made a thread on it. I have found that online dating has desensitized the dating process and made it more of a business transaction. You're right, it does feel like a business transaction.
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