I'm Not a socialable person

[Dickies]

im not a very socialable person when it comes to face to face or on the phone and it gets on people nerves or either bore them when i don't talk its sucks not being able to hold a conversation

its also hurting my relationship with my girl she thought of breaking up with me due to lack of communication she tell me i need to open up to her. But I dont know how and I dont really know what it means to open up sadly...I can be shy sometimes and I dont have confedence sometimes

I want to able to talk with pplz and stop being shy

[fatcat]

I used to be like you up until the 7th grade. Then I realized that not being

a socialble person hurts in the long run. You miss out on being invited to

parties, asked to play sports, BBQ's, concerts, etc.

 

Its a wonder you have a g/f .

 

But some community colleges have night school classes on Social Behavior/

Betterment/Improvement courses. I'd check into that. Becoming socialble

doesnt happen overnight, its a thing that takes time and finese. Try to make

friends with some extroverts, they may have some skills that may rub off

on you, unless the'yre total assclowns.

 

Ever see the movie, "Office Space"? The character that gets pushed around by his boss

is this quiet, shy, nerdy dude because he doesn't know how to communicate.

[JS17]

I think your girlfriend might be able to help you open up. Having a girlfriend get you to open up will help you open up outside of your relationship and become more sociable.

 

Try telling her that you do want to open up to her and you really care about her but you may need a little help. Tell her how you're feeling about anything, her, your family, your school or work, etc. Tell her things about your past...tell her the stories of great times and bad times. Tell her the reasons that you're shy or any other attributes. She wants to know what makes you, you and where you came from.

[suegail]

Some people are not social and never will be and I honestly see nothing wrong with that, but if it bothers you a great deal and you'd enjoy being more outgoing, start asking questions, because I've always found that people love a good listener and if you ask enough questions and get them talking about themselves they usually won't realize you aren't bouncing back with all kinds of information about yourself. They'll just be delighted to have someone so interested in their life and activities, and it takes a great deal of pressure off of you because all you have to do is sit back and keep asking the questions and they'll do all the talking.

 

I know i'm rarely at ease in social situations. I get nervous, not sure of what to say, so this is how I handle it, and it works well.

[RecordProducer]

Do you have the urge to be more open or is it the friends who want that? In any case I understand that you want people to like you and you want them to get close to you.

When I was a teenager and felt that the company was not "my size" I was afraid to open my mouth and say anything, because I knew that they would act as if I didn't say anything or sad something wrong. Later I developed this silent technique to exclude myself from a boring company. Hopefully you see the difference between those two examples. In the former I would say nothing because I was afraid of rejection while in the latter I simply didn't have the need to share my opinion.

Which one is your case?

 

You're probably very young and should know that you will change with time. The older you get the less you're afraid to talk and state your opinion. Therapy or books about self-improvement might help you to accept yourself the way you are and deal with your fears.

[monkey00]

IM sure youll get out of that stage eventually.

Almost everyone at some point breaks out of their shell during the most important years of their lives, wether it may be sernior yr of h.s. or college, usually you will.

 

Hey i used to be a shy/introvert/ quiet kid all the way up till college. Since then, ive been more socially active. Not all the way out there, but good enough to be considered the norm. The problem was i used to be extremely self conscious about my actions/words and did not want to offend anyone. My skinniness added to my lack of confidence. Hell im still skinny but im happy with myself.

 

Well whatever it may be im sure you'll get out of your loop. Environmental factors play a major role, so it may be friends or family, lifestyle that could be contributing to this. When you feel good, youre confident, when youre confident you'll make others feel good, and when that happens you will explode into talking.

 

good luck