Alyssa Bretecher Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 (edited) We have been together for almost 9 months and he was single for like 5 years before being with me, he told me that he didn’t date a lot of girls during that time but now that he is with me even his ex asked him if they could try it again and some other girls also tried to flirt with him. I trust him because when this happened he told me about it but it bothers me that some girls try to do that. He is not the most looking guy but he is extremely smart, successful and hard working and those are qualities that I like more. Edited December 12, 2017 by Alyssa Bretecher I mean *good looking
Gaeta Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 Some people are attracted toward what they can't have. If your boyfriend turned out single tomorrow they probably would not want him. It's not because we're in a relationship that we stop being attractive to others. I still have exs from 2-3 years ago trying to get back in touch, the important is that I ignore and block them. 3
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 You being with him increased his value in the eyes of others. This is a typical reaction, and pickup artists use this as a tool. They encourage guys to surround themselves with attractive women to trigger interest in those women who are passing by. 1
MaleIntuition Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 We have been together for almost 9 months and he was single for like 5 years before being with me, he told me that he didn’t date a lot of girls during that time but now that he is with me even his ex asked him if they could try it again and some other girls also tried to flirt with him. I trust him because when this happened he told me about it but it bothers me that some girls try to do that. He is not the most looking guy but he is extremely smart, successful and hard working and those are qualities that I like more. A couple of reasons, and I think this is a pretty common phenomenon. I think it boils down to: 1) Pre-selection. Subconsciously you being with him “validateds” him as a good catch. 2) The good old; “we want what we can’t have.” 3) He isn’t trying, which makes him seem laidback and confident. 3
d0nnivain Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 This is a silly answer to your Q but watch the scene in the movie Legally Blonde where Elle's character slaps her fellow student, the heavy set guy, then says that he broke her heart. The guy had been hitting on a hot girl who was shutting him down. When Elle did that, the other girl suddenly got more interested in the guy. Because another hot girl wanted him / had him he was more attractive. 4
dude360 Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 A couple of reasons, and I think this is a pretty common phenomenon. I think it boils down to: 1) Pre-selection. Subconsciously you being with him “validateds” him as a good catch. 2) The good old; “we want what we can’t have.” 3) He isn’t trying, which makes him seem laidback and confident. THIS. Most women are attracted to what other women want. 2
kendahke Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 Because it's the holiday season and everyone is trying to couple-up. It won't be over until 2/15/18
O'Malley Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 He's been vetted by your dating and your happiness with him - and if he comes across as stable, hard working and successful that just vets him even more. If he's at ease, confident and happy in your relationship, he's displaying the best of himself and that will catch the attention of others. You feel that he's trustworthy, so be flattered: these women are just appreciating the same qualities that you admire in him.
Be_Strong Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 THIS. Most women are attracted to what other women want. And this is a general principle that applies to everyone, not just women. My child will ignore a toy in the corner of the basement for months, but if another kid visits and wants to play with that forgotten toy, all of a sudden the value of that toy dramatically increases in my child’s eyes. In my own experience, there have been times when I didn’t really pay any attention to a single woman and didn’t find her attractive, but after she started dating a guy that was madly in love with her, she appeared more attractive to me.
newyorker11356 Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 I'll never understand this mentality. Just because someone is in a relationship, doesn't mean they should all of a sudden be considered higher value. It means nothing.
newyorker11356 Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 Perception is more important than reality in the early stages of dating and relationships. Meh, agree to disagree. I certainly wouldn't find a woman I didn't find attractive or like any differently just because she all of a sudden has a boyfriend, lol. I also have been single for most of my life, and it's never hindered me. This could be the case for a select few people, but I think most people don't look at this as some sort of serious barometer.
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