Nz83guy Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 Hey I need some other people's perspective on this situation im in. I'm a 34 year old gay guy and I met this really lovely chatting Colombian guy who is studying English here a few months back. We dated, have had an amazing connection, he messages me all the time like several times a day. Imrt his friends and at one point we were going to move in together. From the beginning he knew I was really into him and he just kept saying maybe and that he was unsure about his future so he didn't want to rush into anything. He started calling me his best friend so I confronted him and asked why he won't take the next step with me.. He said he was hoping his feelings would grow for me but he came to realise I'm not a strong enough person for him?! So I didn't take it that well and said basically that I didn't wanna know him and he continues to plead for me to still be friends with him. He messaged me the other day and said he didn't wanna lose me. So I've been chatting to him again playing it cool and acting like his mate, but really I have very strong feelings for him and even tho I know he only wants to be friends my heart still races when he texts and I drop everything to spend time with him. I've been reading alot about what to do in this situation so I told him I realised I wasn't into him anymore and that I was acting silly persuig him so much. That was this morning and I'm thinking the best thing to do is make him miss me, because I really like this guy and want him to realise what he's passed on. Even tho hanging out with him is like fireworks everytime I can't just be friends... Any advice would be much appreciated...
carhill Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 Not gay, though my best friend's daughter needs some convincing , but I'd manage this like any other rejection I've dealt with in life, of which there have been plenty. It is what it is, yeah it sucks and those feelings of attraction are authentic but not reciprocated so it's going nowhere. IMO, this other man isn't respecting you because he's not accepting that your feelings are romantic and sexual and different from his. Sure, no skin off his nose since he's comfortable and cool with your attention and care. That says a lot about him to treat you like that and none of it good or healthy. Whether in the straight or gay world, we teach people how to treat us. How do you want to be treated? Go with that.
Author Nz83guy Posted December 12, 2017 Author Posted December 12, 2017 Not gay, though my best friend's daughter needs some convincing , but I'd manage this like any other rejection I've dealt with in life, of which there have been plenty. It is what it is, yeah it sucks and those feelings of attraction are authentic but not reciprocated so it's going nowhere. IMO, this other man isn't respecting you because he's not accepting that your feelings are romantic and sexual and different from his. Sure, no skin off his nose since he's comfortable and cool with your attention and care. That says a lot about him to treat you like that and none of it good or healthy. Whether in the straight or gay world, we teach people how to treat us. How do you want to be treated? Go with that. Thankyou for that advice.
Zippy2000 Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm not gay but I'm sure heterosexual relationships based on romantic feelings are the same. I like a girl who doesn't have any feelings for me. I met her 3 years ago and I always tried to get her out on dates. She was never available and only managed to get out with her one in the beginning. We would message each other serval times a day. Fast forward to May 2017 of this year. After 3 years if being of constant messaging. Guess what? it got me no-where. She never saw me in a romantic way but she loved the attention. She would always say she would get back to me when she was free and never did. I had wasted my time but then I went online and met another girl who wanted to see me and was always available when I arranged dates. What a difference and a breath of fresh air. What I m saying is you may have feelings for him but pursuing him is not going to do much good for you when there is someone out there who wants to be with you.
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2017 Posted December 12, 2017 Don't listen to this guy....he is being selfish. Him knowing he can't give you what you want, he should have ended things. He's looking at this to manipulate the situation because he knows you have very strong feeling for him. Dump his ass.
Author Nz83guy Posted December 12, 2017 Author Posted December 12, 2017 Don't listen to this guy....he is being selfish. Him knowing he can't give you what you want, he should have ended things. He's looking at this to manipulate the situation because he knows you have very strong feeling for him. Dump his ass. Thanks for the great advice. I told him today that I can't be friends and that to move on I have to go. He said he cannot delete me from his life and he will wait for me to lose feelings for him. I said That Won't happen and not to wait. Deleted his number.. It's over. 1
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